Today is my mom's 48th birthday. I told this to Jeremy as we worked out at the gym before 6:00 this morning.
Jeremy knows a good portion of the history with my mom. I've given him a few abbreviated run-downs* as we've worked out, but that's about it. Still, though, he has shaken his head in disbelief as I've told him about my mom's actions.
When I told him it was her birthday today, he asked, "Did you get her anything?"
"Nope."
"Are you gonna call her?"
"Nope."
Jeremy asked me if I ever paid attention in church. He said that as Christians, we're supposed to forgive and forget.
But what I want to know: Even as Christians, how many times do we have to forgive and forget before it's OK to just cut off contact, especially if it seems to be in the best interest of everyone involved?
*Yes, I can give abbreviated run-downs. When it comes to my mom, though, I always try to give as much detail as possible in this blog in the hopes that if I am being an unreasonable bitch, you'll tell me. :)
4 comments:
We are called to forgive over and over again, but the forgetting part I don't think is accurate. We DO have a memory. :) I think what he might mean by that is just that we should be free from any bitterness, not having bad feelings when we do remember the wrongs against us. I know from experience that it's something only God can do in our hearts. God has plenty of grace to give when we deal with difficult relationships, and if we've surrendered our lives to Him, He can enable us to love the unlovable. However, loving someone doesn't always mean putting yourself in a place to constantly be hurt and wounded by them. I think the important thing to ask yourself is "are you living out First Corinthians 13:4-8"? If you are (which again is only possible with God's grace!) and you're still being wounded by that person, it may be time to let it go for the sake of protecting your heart. Ok, I'll stop going on now! -just my thoughts. :)
no, not being an unreasonable bitch.:)
I think we have to forgive AND forget. Just like God does for us, he's removed our sins as far as the East is from the West.
Although, I think that forgiving and cutting off contact are two separate things. I think that you need to forgive your mom and protect yourself at the same time. Such a hard situation, though. I'm so sorry you even have to deal with it!
Forgiving doesn't always mean restoring the relationship to what it was. Sometimes that's not possible, or healthy. Forgiveness--the release of your anger and your right to retribution--is not the same as trust, which has to be earned. You can still love a person and want the best for them without putting yourself in a position where you'll almost certainly be hurt again.
My prayers go out on your behalf--it's so difficult to navigate human relationships sometimes.
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