Is this length gonna cut it?

Friends, I need your help. Badly.

I have been growing out my hair since October of 2009. It started on accident. I'd gotten a fantastic haircut, and by January, I couldn't believe how long my hair had gotten. I decided to keep going and donate it. It would take no time at all!

Only my hair decided to stop growing as quickly, and along the way I tried to get a couple basic maintenance trims that turned into full-on haircuts, thanks to overzealous stylists who didn't pay attention to my "half-inch or inch at the most. I'm growing it to donate it" instructions. Those set me back a few months, and it happened twice. Yuck.

So now here I am, seventeen months later, ridiculously ready to hack off my hair. For months I've been getting more and more anxious to see it all go. It's in my way; it's in K's way. I'm ready to get to put layers back in it. I'm ready for my hair to be my hair.

I mentioned this to a coworker a couple weeks ago, so she decided to measure it for me. She told me it's 10" long at the middle of my back from my shoulders, and it's 8" on the sides, with the (grown out) layers that frame my face. I only need 8" for the Beautiful Lengths donation I intend to make. Suh-weet!

I excitedly scheduled my appointment last week. I'm supposed to go in this Saturday.

Only now I'm getting cold feet.

I had K remeasure my hair just in case. Nine inches from the bottom of my curly hair is right at my shoulders. That could be bad. If my hair gets cut above my shoulders, it becomes horizontal. I'll have to straighten it, which is a huge pain, until it grows out.

But what if I'm so nervous about having my hair long enough after the cut that I don't let them cut enough, and it all just has to get thrown out because it's unusable? What a waste!

What if the layers I told the stylists to ignore (and they didn't) make the majority of my hair unusable?

(And what if the hair gets lost in the mail before it gets to the company? Agh!)

Let me give you a visual here.

I will donate to Beautiful Lengths, which requires an 8" donation. I figure I'll give them 9", just to be sure they have enough. (Also, for those of you who clicked the link from my last major haircut, for the record, I do own other shirts than this one.)

That rubber band -- where my hair will be cut -- is dangerously close to my shoulders. Like potentially ugly close to my shoulders. Since my hair is curly, it will likely kink up and be above them. 

My options: 

• Cancel the appointment and reschedule for a later date (May, maybe?). 
• Cancel the appointment, immediately begin taking prenatal vitamins for the next 4 weeks. Then switch back to my vitapaks so those aren't wasted ... and when those are finished, resume the prenatals, since we planned on having me start those anyway.
• Go to the appointment, hack off my hair, and straighten it for a few weeks -- potentially with some prenatals in the mix -- until the awkward stage is over. Enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling that goes with knowing there's a little girl out there who won't have to worry about how she'll look when her illness takes her hair because of my donation and Beautiful Lengths.
• Go to the appointment and donate my straightened hair. That means less taken while still meeting the requirements, and I'll still have more left after the donation. Hopefully everyone wins. I may or may not have to use the straightener and prenatal post-haircut option. But I'll still get the warm fuzzy feeling.

My hair has been close to shoulder-length before. Maybe it'll look OK.

Either way, please feel free to weigh in. Either way, I am donating. It's just a matter of when (and how I deal with it post-cut).

With something as important as hair, I feel like I just can't make this decision on my own!

Here we go again ...

This Friday, K and I are headed to Dallas. Dallas -- where I lived for four years before moving to VA. Dallas -- where a lot of my friends still live.

We're going to Dallas for Jeremy's wedding. We're really excited for it. Jeremy is still one of my best friends, and he'll always have a special place in my heart (and K's) for helping me to get through K's 14-month deployment to Iraq.

I'm thrilled that Jeremy has found his fiance, and this wedding is something I wouldn't miss for the world.

K and I get to stay with Heather, which is another bonus. We missed getting to hang out with her when we were home for Christmas, but I'd planned all along that we'd at least see her for this next trip.

The trouble is that we have to figure out who else we will see. I've done my standard little trip-home bit where I don't tell anyone we're coming but the ones we know we'll see.

Jeremy knows we're coming. Heather knows we're coming. And that's it.

ER doesn't even know. We spent a day with her last time, but do we need to see her again this time?

And what about AJ (my cycling and concert buddy)? I haven't seen AJ since I was home last January. I should probably try to see her, but it might be hard to fit that in. But it's possible. (Especially if she meets us somewhere.) There are others I could see, too -- particularly Brit (former Dallas coworker and friend). I haven't seen Brit since the Dallas wedding (May '09).

So far, my plan was to keep doing what I've done so far: Put off the decision for another day.

But tonight, I got a message from Addie. Who I know through Brit. I hung out with Addie several times, but, like Brit, I haven't seen her since the Dallas wedding. Somehow Addie knew K and I would be in town, and she'd like to hang out after the wedding if it's not too late. Only Addie isn't going to the wedding (she does know Jeremy, but I don't know if they've seen each other since -- you guessed it! -- the Dallas wedding).

I was confused, so I texted Jeremy. Addie isn't going to the wedding (I don't think she's invited, actually). Evidently Addie called Jeremy to find out if K and I were going to the wedding.

How random is that?! I mean, I guess it's cool that she wants to see us so badly, but is it bad that I hadn't even thought about calling her? I mean, we have three days in Dallas, part of which will be taken up by a wedding.

I swear, going back home (by "home," I mean the entire region between Dallas and Oklahoma City) always winds up being so exciting and stressful at the same time.

A sign?

K and I will have been married 3 years this September.

Thanks to his deployment and our move to VA last summer (and trips we've taken to visit friends for various reasons), we've still never taken a honeymoon. We resolved to fix that this year.

We planned on visiting Destin/Ft. Walton Beach, FL, which is where we got married. Then, the whole oil spill thing happened. Only, it's supposed to be done now and getting cleaned up, and the trip wouldn't be until late September.

Today, I found a beautiful picture on a photo site. Thought to myself, Wherever that is, that's where we should go on our honeymoon.

And then I saw the title:
"Relaxing in Destin"

Help me decorate my living room!

I've been wanting to update the pillows on our couch to mix in some patterns and add some color. I ventured onto Etsy this week, and I found some I really like. In fact, there's one set in particular that I so want to work, but the colors in it don't match the rug ... I like the set so much that I'm worried it's clouding my opinion of whether or not it's an acceptable fit. 

All three pillow sets below are approved by K. There's one set I LOVE, one I'm not crazy about, and one that I'd probably like more if I wasn't so in love with the other set. 

So I'm asking you guys! What do you think? 

This was taken a while ago, but it's pretty much what our living room looks like.

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

Cuttin' it kinda close ...

All right, let's say that -- hypothetically -- your best friend had a birthday a couple weeks ago. You're seeing her this weekend for the first time in months, and she'll be having her first baby in less than two months.

Since it's her last birthday before babies, I'd like to do something special for her. Any great almost-a-mommy gift ideas?

I couldn't make this crap up

My interview yesterday afternoon went well. I managed to find another interview-appropriate outfit, and for the second time, I removed my purple nail polish and went for a springy coral.

The guy I had to meet this time was very nice. Not too much older than me. He kind of grilled me, but in a nice, pleasant kind of way. It was clear he just wanted to make sure I had relevant experience and would be able to handle the responsibilities the position comes with.

I think I actually passed. The line of questions made me a little worried about the fact my professional experience is primarily with editing, since this is a writing position, but I think I did a good job of playing up my writing experience and the range it covers.

I learned more about the position in the interview. The commute isn't quite as bad as I thought it would be (25 min instead of 30, but it's under half an hour, right?!), and I left feeling so excited about the possibility. I think I'd really enjoy the work, so my previously blase attitude about the outcome has changed. I do want this job.

The guy asked me for some writing samples. I was surprised that hadn't come up before. I sent them as soon as I got home.

The woman I had the initial phone interview with (she's sat through all 3 interviews I've had, actually) told me I probably wouldn't hear back from them until after K and I get back from vacation, since things are pretty hectic for them right now. She seemed really positive, and it was nice because she was basically telling me I could enjoy my vacation without having to worry about waiting by my phone.

So imagine my surprise when this afternoon, I had an email back from her. And somehow, I was even more surprised when I finished reading it:

They want me to come back AGAIN after we get back from vacation so I can meet another person!!! This time, they'll take me to lunch as well.

I'm confused.

It was at this point that I quit going back to Hooters. This job is a little different, obviously. I plan on going to this 4th meeting, but I haven't answered the email yet. I want to say something more than, "Sure! See you on Thursday!" (or whatever day we meet), but I don't quite know where to go.

I guess I should be honored I've made it through this many rounds, but I'd like to know if there are still others in the running at this point. It would be kind of nice to know how many more rounds there will be. (By the way, I still have no clue what the salary is -- or even if it's salary -- but I actually would rather like to know the first two most.)

I'm just not sure if it's OK to ask.

Update on the job

So I heard back about the job today ... sort of. They want me to come in again on Thursday. Evidently there's "one other person who needs to meet you." Hmm ... I'm confused.

Does this mean they'll be offering me the job, or does it mean they're still deciding? In the face-to-face interview, I met the person who would be my supervisor and the director. Who else would I need to meet?

I don't know the hours or salary of this job. I'd hate to drive there again, learn that information, and have it not be enough to justify the commute. Especially since I have to drive through traffic to one military base and one major tourist attraction on my way there. Yikes. I don't want to waste their time.

Also, all three of the references I gave them last week said they'd let me know if they were contacted. I haven't heard from any of them, so I'm guessing they weren't.

I'm planning on going to this additional interview, but the whole fact it's even an issue leaves me really confused. Considering they've already done a phone interview and an in-person interview, what else do they need to know?

And wouldn't you know I just repainted my nails to purple last Friday? Am I going to have to redo them in another color AGAIN?!

Jury is back, and it's not good

I'm not a quitter. I don't want to be, anyway. But I hate this job.

There's nothing really bad about it, I guess. It's not unbearable. But I don't like it. My coworkers are OK, but the work itself? Not so good. I thought when I applied that this would be an admin/editing job. It's neither. It's entirely data entry. For a newspaper.

A newspaper.

I'm not a newspaper person. I struggled with that at my first job in Dallas. I felt like an outsider wandering the halls while everyone around me tried to figure out how to get people to subscribe to the paper again. I didn't subscribe, and I didn't want to.

The money isn't that good here. Not good enough to convince me to stay. But I can tough it out for the two months the job lasts, right?

Only there's so much memorization. So many special cases, and so many things that change on a regular basis. I've noticed myself zoning out when I get crazy code updates. I can't justify paying attention and committing these thigns to memory if I'm just going to be here for two months.

No matter what happens, I'm not in it for the long haul, so I've decided it's not worth the effort. It's nice earning a paycheck again (even if it is smaller than what it was 6 months ago). But is that enough reason to stay at a job that's not worth the effort?

For now, I've decided that my job search is not only back on, but it's in high gear. If I can find a job -- any job -- to take the place of this one, I can justify leaving to myself. But until then, I'll continue what I'm doing now: Thinking every five minutes about how much I'd like to just get up and never come back.

I'm employed ... and confused

I got offered a job this morning, and I took it. I'm kind of unexcited about it.

To start from the beginning, this has happened SO fast. I found the job listing on Wednesday. I submitted my application that morning, and I got a phone call Wednesday afternoon. They asked me to interview Thursday (yesterday). When I went in for the interview, I realized I was at a job placement company. I had thought I'd be interviewing at the workplace, with my potential future boss.

I've learned a little about the company and what I'll be doing. It's a temp position through the month of December, but it could very likely go permanent afterwards. (Just in time to interfere with any holiday plans, I guess.) I'll be doing administrative work, with a little editing work as well. I'll be making a fraction of what I made in Dallas, but that's OK. For starters, I'm living with K now. I'm not driving 10 hours every other weekend to see him, and our bills have gone from two apartments to one house. Plus, there's the fact that the Army gives him money for our rent since we live off post. I don't need to be making the same amount of money I was making in Dallas.

K would be OK with me staying home if I wanted to. It's nice to have the days to get things done for K, and I take care of things around the house so we don't have to worry about it when K is home. I mow the lawn, clean the house, go grocery shopping and cook dinner. Since I wasn't working, I took it as my job to take care of the house, so I did. There's been downtime, obviously, but more this week than ever in the past since we've been getting settled, had visitors or been traveling ourselves.

I'd honestly be OK with staying home all the time for the flexibility it allows. I can pick up work with the company I worked with in Dallas when they need it. Since the work is inconsistent, they pay very well when I can help. I have the freedom to get things done during the day, and if K has a 4-day weekend, we can pick up and go wherever we want. Only I can't justify staying home to myself. It's not like we have a child I'm taking care of; that would be different. If I did stay home indefinitely, I would seek out volunteer opportunities to help fill my free time. I would be more OK with that.

But I miss bringing home a paycheck. I hate having to ask K to put money in my account. (We've talked about combining them, but we haven't done it yet. I really don't know if I want to.)

I miss the pride I had in taking care of things myself. If I saw a cute shirt on sale, I could buy it because it was my money. If I have a gift to buy someone, it would be from me since I had my own money to buy it with.

I was initially excited about this job opportunity for the paycheck alone, but then came the interview. The interviewer asked if I would still be able to pursue my passion (I guess she meant editing) through freelance work. I told her I would, but I kept to myself that editing is NOT my passion. I enjoy it, but there's definitely no passion.

And then she asked me what my career goal is. Shit. Wouldn't I like to know? Instead of getting into that whole conversation, I spoke just to say something and finally ended with something about "using my degree."

The job description said a person with a journalism or English degree is preferred, and an ideal candidate would have 1-2 years' experience at a newspaper or publishing company. Check and check. So I guess I'll be using my degree here after all.

Trouble is, I'm not sure it's the degree I'm happy with anymore.

Shit, shit, shit

K and I ordered our bedroom set on July 6. We got it today. And it does not quite look how we thought it would.

We underestimated the height of our mattress, and we also didn't realize how high the mirror above the dresser is.

Does it look that bad? Be honest, please!

[As I see it, we have three options: (1) Keep the bed as it is, if it doesn't look stupid. (2) Remove the box springs -- but then, where would we put it? Also, we're supposed to use the mattress with the box springs. However, the bed has a ton of slats running across it, so we may be OK. (3) Return the bedroom set to switch for a new one that hopefully won't take an additional 2.5 months to arrive.]

I need a crystal ball to tell me what to do!

I started college as an instrumental music education major. My plan was to become a junior high band director. Soon into my classes, I became anxious about my choice. It didn't feel right.

After my freshman year, I finally got the nerve to change my major. It was a scary thing to do. What if I hated my new major? What if I sucked at it?

I switched to journalism. I loved it. I was going to be a TV reporter. I had some questions about it, so I interned at a TV news station. I loved it. There were things about the job -- the awful pay, the crazy hours, the scary and sad things you see on reports -- that I was unsure about. I spent a fair amount of my senior year talking to my TV news professor about them. She had actually been a TV reporter. She was honest, and she told me everything I was worried about was valid.

So after I graduated, I applied for a variety of jobs: TV news, newspaper, editing. I got an interview for an editing job.

Editing was something I always had enjoyed. It was part of my ultimate career plan. I was just bypassing the TV reporting part (which was only 5 years of my career plan, anyway).

I landed the editing job. Moved to Dallas. A year and a half later, I left my first editing job for a more exciting, more fitting, better paying editing job. I left there two months ago to come to VA with K.

I worked remotely with my Dallas company a few times. There is an opportunity for more work soon, but I haven't heard anything. It's been hectic lately, what with us getting settled and moved in, not to mention the visitors we've had the past couple weeks.

But I can't keep NOT working and stay sane. I have to find a job.

I'm tired of editing. Tired of not having control over my workflow. Tired of having to sacrifice my work because a writer hasn't delivered on his or her end of the deadline. I'm ready for a change. Something rewarding would be nice (the type of editing I did was not rewarding).

This move gives me the perfect opportunity to do something new. But now I feel exactly as I did my freshman year. What do I do?

There are things that interest me, and I think they'd all be rewarding jobs:

1) Photography. I love photography. I would be excited to learn about it. I always have my camera with me, and I love recording things.

Things to consider: I could have to sacrifice my weekends, which I'm not ready to do right now. Also, it seems like everyone and their dog is getting into photography right now ...

2) Personal training. I think it would be really neat to be able to help people get in shape. It would be doubly awesome because I'd know more about staying in shape myself.

Things to consider: I have no business doing anything like this yet -- so much to learn first! Would I even be able to learn enough without having to go get a degree in this field?

3) Esthetician. This would be such a relaxing job! It would be great to learn more about skincare, and this would definitely be a rewarding job.

Things to consider: Will I be able to move easily with this career? Definitely something to consider, since K is in the military.

4) (Honorable mention) Speech pathologist. For some reason, I have an ear for speech impediments. I hear them quite a bit in commercials. Also, when I was little, my brother had trouble saying quite a few letters. I taught him how to speak correctly. There are a variety of options with speech pathology, and every one of them would be very rewarding.

Things to consider: I'd have to go back to school to get my master's degree for this, and I'd be on the three-year program since I have no undergraduate experience in this field.

No matter what I choose, I'll have quite a bit of learning to do. Photography and personal training are both things I would want to independently. Both are things I think people consider luxuries, so I think it would be nice to offer both at more reasonable prices. I would be able to move with either easily, and the Army would make it easier for me to find and meet people who could become potential clients.

So much to think about ... and they all scare me a little bit. Yikes!

Facts & confessions -- is it just me?

FACT: I suck at blogging lately.

FACT: I still owe you pictures from the homecoming. And a blog about it. And details on what we've been up to since K has been back.

FACT: I'm going to make you wait a little longer for those. (FACT: I'm sorry.)

FACT: K is here in Dallas with me this week. We went to lunch today, and somehow, we got onto the topic of a past *ahem* ... relationship of his.

CONFESSION: I'm not a virgin. (Shocker, I know.)

CONFESSION: I wasn't a virgin when I got married. Or when I met K.

FACT: Neither was he.

FACTS:

• Remember the jerk I dated all through college? He was my first, and I was his. Besides K, he's the only guy I've been with.
  
• When I met K, he was 26. For this fact alone, I was pretty sure that his history was going to be a little more extensive than mine. Because K is so genuine and kind, I figured his number was probably somewhere around 3.
• I was wrong -- it was a bit higher than that. It wasn't large for a guy his age, but it was more than I'd expected. I honestly just tried to make the best of it by telling myself he would definitely know what he was doing in that department.
  
• I was OK with his number. I was also OK with the fact he'd been engaged before.
  

FACT THAT ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME: Of course, that blasé attitude changed once I started caring about K.

K and I have a very honest, playful relationship. I give him quite a bit of grief about his little history. I remember their names better than he does, and it turns out I remember a lot of the history of it better than him, too.

I don't know why I feel the need to give him so much grief about it or why I torture myself by asking K about it. Sometimes, though, it has just managed to come up in conversation, and K is always open and honest. Which is how we got onto the topic today.

I don't get catty or rude or gripe at K about things that happened before he ever knew I existed, but I probably tease him about it more than I should. And I know it bothers me more than it should.

I think part of it is that K is the first guy I dated who wasn't a virgin. (To be fair, he's the first guy I dated when I wasn't a virgin.) There never were any girls in my exes' pasts to dwell on -- and even if there were, I didn't care about those guys in the same way to care enough about their pasts like that.

FACT: K married me.

FACT: K still loves me.

FACT: I need to just get over it.

CONFESSION: I wonder if I'm the only girl who felt like she was more normal with this kind of crap BEFORE she fell in love.

Sticking with my plan

Today is my mom's 48th birthday. I told this to Jeremy as we worked out at the gym before 6:00 this morning.

Jeremy knows a good portion of the history with my mom. I've given him a few abbreviated run-downs* as we've worked out, but that's about it. Still, though, he has shaken his head in disbelief as I've told him about my mom's actions.

When I told him it was her birthday today, he asked, "Did you get her anything?"

"Nope."

"Are you gonna call her?"

"Nope."

Jeremy asked me if I ever paid attention in church. He said that as Christians, we're supposed to forgive and forget.

But what I want to know: Even as Christians, how many times do we have to forgive and forget before it's OK to just cut off contact, especially if it seems to be in the best interest of everyone involved?

*Yes, I can give abbreviated run-downs. When it comes to my mom, though, I always try to give as much detail as possible in this blog in the hopes that if I am being an unreasonable bitch, you'll tell me. :)

In the doghouse

Piper's had a bit of trouble with sep@ration anx!ety lately. If I walk away from my desk to where she can't see me, she immediately starts whining or barking, and a lot of times, she continues barking until I come back.

For a while there a few months ago, she was doing really well at this. Not so much lately. And I got an email about it this morning saying several of my co-workers have complained.

If you have any tips for how to break her of this, PLEASE share!!!

(I don't act excited to see her after being away from her. I ignore her for a while so she's not rewarded for any barking or whining she does while I'm gone. She's not getting the hint from that alone.)

This might be why I've only ever completed one (mini) scrapbook

My wedding present to K is going to be a scrapbook. It'll have pictures and keepsakes from our two-plus years together, and it's going to be awesome. Really awesome. I've been working on it for almost a week now ... and I have zero pages completed.

It's funny how long it takes to start a scrapbook. Especially when you want it to be perfect. There are just so many decisions to make, though: Do I want to make an 8x8 scrapbook, or 12x12? Do I want to have it geared toward K, with my own little comments and versions of the story when the picture was taken? Or do I want it to be more of a general us scrapbook -- and if I do that, is it really a present for K, or is it a copout, something I would have done later, but because I finished earlier I could call it a gift to K?

Does it need to be G-rated? -- not that we have X-rated pictures or anything, but odds are lots of other people will see this, meaning the quote page I had planned with funny little inside jokes might need to have punctuation marks and symbols in place of four-letter words. Should I include mainly pictures of us, or is it a good idea to include the picture of K and a friend of ours who stopped by to see us in Times Square for just a bit when we were there for New Years? I mean, it might be nice to look back and say, "Oh yeah! I forgot he met us there!"

Last Sunday, I went to the scrapbook store and spent a lot of money on paper and supplies. I already had an 8x8 scrapbook, so I was good to go. I went home and sat down at my computer to choose the pictures, anxious to begin my project. I realized then just how many pictures K and I have managed to take through our two-plus years together. I chose a few from each of my favorite pictures. It left me with well over 300 pictures. Eek.

After several nights of looking through them and choosing only the very best ones, I was left with about 250 pictures. I decided I'd have to just make the scrapbook the standard 12x12 size. Otherwise, I'd have to cut out too many memories.

I was able, though, to finish a project I'd bought the supplies for last week. Even if I can't wear it for another four weeks, it feels good to know I am capable of beginning and completing a project without overanalyzing every step of it.

But I am worried I didn't get the letters straight enough. What if they're not quite centered? Are they tilting up a bit? And does it need a period?

Should it say "ARMY WIFE" somewhere on the shirt (maybe the back) so it's really clear the shirt is camo for a reason?

See? Totally not overanalyzing.

Well I didn't see THAT coming

I went dress shopping on Saturday with ER and a coworker (Brian). I hadn't been yet with ER, and I wanted to show her the dress I fell in love with when CG and I went dress shopping a month ago.



















I tried on several, and I saved that dress for last. ER and Brian loved it. We were debating color choices and decided that the best combinations would be either ivory and marine (dark blue), or white and champagne. I had my work cut out for me. What to do, what to do ...

And then the lady helping us came up to me with another dress that had just arrived in the store. They hadn't seen it on anyone yet. It was lacy and pretty, and I thought it would be fun to try on one more -- why not?

I came out of the dressing room, and ER and Brian both gasped. Brian's jaw stayed on the floor for a while. It was clear to see that this was the favorite.





































This dress gave me an hourglass figure, which I thought was totally impossible. ER kept saying, "It fits you like a glove!" Brian told me to walk in it a bit, and I did. The way it moves is just gorgeous. It'll look amazing when I walk down the aisle in it. Plus, I asked K what kind of dress he liked, and he said he liked something fitting that would show my figure, not something poofy. The first dress is definitely poofy.

The lacy dress, though, is a bit more expensive, but you only get married once, right?

I'm stuck. I like them both. Maybe I should just get one for the wedding and the other for the reception (riiiiiiiight).

Serious bling

The reason K and I headed back to Dallas so quickly yesterday is because we needed to go shopping for our wedding bands. With K's schedule being pretty packed until the Florida wedding, this weekend was the best time to go.

We went to the store where K got my ring and looked at their wedding bands. K found a ring pretty quickly that he liked, and it was less than $150 (woohoo, titanium!). It's really nice, and very him. And it's sitting in his apartment now in Louisiana.

(End the easy part.)

With K's search complete, we headed over to the section devoted to the designer of my engagement ring.

The jeweler who was helping us was probably in his late 50s or 60s, and he was clearly from the old-school generation of thought where the man shows his love by providing for his family, which meant he was a different kind of salesman than we were used to.

He took a look at my ring and found the band that matched it. It was gorgeous.

He handed the band to me, and I slid it onto my finger. I was surprised by how much I didn't love it when it was next to my ring. When you mixed all the diamonds of the wedding band along with the perfect, slender, ornate band of my engagement ring, it was too much. The simplicity of my ring -- the slender, delicate band; the simple solitaire -- was gone. (I realize my band isn't simple, but I think there's still a simplicity to the ring as a whole, if that makes sense.)

When I added the wedding band to my engagement ring, all I saw was sparkle. I felt like my solitaire got lost in the glitter of the bands. Instead of a beautiful, tiny band on my finger, there was now a wide band of diamonds. The combination looked extravagant, fancy, sparkly, expensive -- all of which I think don't suit me.

"Oh, now that completes the picture," the salesman said, looking at the rings combined. Then, looking at K, "Will that be cash, check or charge?"

I laughed nervously at his joke. Only he looked serious. I decided the best thing to do then was to be honest with the salesman. "This band is beautiful," I said, "but it's too much. I like simple things. When I look at my hand with this band on, all I see are diamonds, and it's not that that's a bad thing, but it's not what I'd had in mind."

I told him that K had done such a great job of choosing my ring that I loved it just the way it was -- with the thin band, and with the way the solitaire stands out. I told him I felt like the solitaire was lost when the band was added. I even told him I'd considered keeping my ring as is, either not adding a wedding band, or just wearing the band on my right hand, since I like it so much as it is.

"Well then you'd be walking around unmarried, and we can't have that!" said the salesman. He told me that now, I'm excited to be engaged, so I want the solitaire to stand out. That once I'm married, I won't mind if the diamond doesn't stand out as much as when the ring is on its own. He told me that the band was made to go with the ring and that the two together weren't too much.

I had handed the band back to him, and as he talked, he moved it around in his fingers, letting it catch all the light. As he twirled it around in his hands, I caught sight of the price tag, which made me gasp and admit what I'd just seen. I thought I was going to hyperventilate, and I fought off the urge to cry right there. I can't remember the discussion after that point, but eventually, the salesman told me I'd get used to the band, and he had me put it back on my finger. "Now will that be cash, check or charge?" he asked K again.

To be honest, at that point, I was ready to leave. I felt kind of pressured, and I didn't want K to be spending that much on a ring I wasn't so in love with I couldn't live without it.

K asked the salesman to leave us for a minute. K told me he wished I hadn't seen the price tag. He said that the price didn't matter, since I'd be wearing the ring for the rest of my life. I told him I hadn't expected my wedding band to be so expensive. "Well, me either," he said, "but then I saw it on your hand, and it just looks so perfect."

I told K again that I'd wanted a simpler band. "Well, look at this," he said, and he turned the wedding band upside down, so that only the solid platinum of the underside was showing. It looked ridiculous, just a solid platinum band next to the ornate band of my ring. It didn't go together at all. While I hadn't planned on just a solid band like that, I could see his point. We talked for a few more seconds about it before K called the salesman back over.

The fancy, elaborate wedding band is now being sized from a 7 to a 5 1/2. I'll pick it up on Wednesday. I still feel anxious about the price and the whole trip. But I'm eager to pick it up so I can get another look at it. Maybe when it's the right size, it won't be so overwhelming. Maybe it just looked that way under all those bright jewelry store lights.

Maybe in September when K and I are out on the beach in Florida, I'll realize when he slips it on my finger that I really do like the way it looks. Maybe I'm just kidding myself about not wanting a ring so sparkly and fancy. Maybe I just talked myself out of liking that style because I was sure I'd never have it.

I really really hope that's the case.

Since you're so good at helping me with everything else ...

So it seems I can't make decisions by myself. But I'll have you know I've been making some pretty serious, big-time decisions lately. And you've been awesome at helping me with most of them. :)

I'm planning two weddings while my fiance is training cadets at We$t Po!nt. By the time we get to talk on the phone, he's exhausted. I have about 10 to 15 good minutes to find out about his day and throw 50 bajillion questions at him before he starts falling asleep on the phone. I lost him tonight before my current big decision: I really need to decide on a reception site -- pronto.

Since many of you are already married or have spent a lot of time at weddings lately, who better to ask than you? Besides, with your amazing taste and judgment, I know I can trust your opinions. (You totally want to help me now, right? I knew you would. You're just awesome like that.)

Place A
Pros:
- Closer to the airport (which is good for guests)
- $3,000 cheaper
- Takes care of everything -- flowers, decorations, catering
- Is close to downtown Dallas, but farther from where I live
- Has a really pretty front door area for pictures
- We could do our Italian/BBQ reception food idea
- Looks really awesome in pictures -- honestly, it looks better in pictures than in person
- Variety of choices in chair color and linen color, all included in the rental price

Cons:
- Smaller space than Place B
- Has two tiny bathrooms that aren't in great shape (but not bad, really), each with only one toilet
- What if their in-house decorator has tacky taste or ruins my flowers?
- Not in the greatest area of Dallas -- meaning it feels like it could be in a bit safer location, and the area isn't that attractive
- Parking is a little odd at this site. People will have to walk farther than they will at Place B. Parking for Place B is more obvious than at Place A, but Place A has uniformed cops directing traffic through events.


Place B
Pros:
- I really like the person we've worked with so far in checking out the site
- K has seen it and liked it
- Has a separate bridal room where K and I can go before our grand entrance
- Is closer to the suburb where I live, so I know my way around that area better
- Is closer to ER's parents' house, which has been offered to the bridesmaids for the night before the wedding so we can all stay and get ready in the same place
- Is in a nicer area than Place A
- Has large, nice bathrooms

- (This isn't really a pro or a con) More traditional-type space, where Place A is a bit more contemporary

Cons:
- $3,000
- We can't do the Italian/BBQ thing
- We'd still need to find a florist
- Um, $3,000


With both sites, we could bring in our own alcohol, so that's no deciding factor. Place A doesn't need a dance floor because the floor is already dance floor-like, and Place B includes the dance floor in the rental price.

Place B is the one I visited and loved back in April. Everything just went so smoothly. Tonight, when I visited Place A for the first time, I didn't click with the two ladies there in the same way. Since K won't be come to Dallas again until mid-July, I'd planned to take pictures of Place A to send to him. When I pulled up to the site, it was raining. I pulled my camera out of my purse and went to take a picture of the outside area. My camera batteries were dead. I looked in my purse for extras, and I didn't have any. I almost always have extras. I don't even know when I pulled them out of my purse. Was that a sign?

I played with my ink pen as I talked to the owner and her decorator about the site. My pen, which I've carried in my purse and used successfully hundreds of times, kept falling apart because I had twisted it so much it didn't want to stay together.

The woman at Place B had told me the questions I had ready for her were good. She answered them all very well, and she had her own spiel about the site as well (meaning good things to know, not things to try to pressure me to book there). She gave me a handout of questions and answers about the site. Many of my questions were on there.

The owner of Place A looked at me halfway through my list of questions and said, "Where did you get these from?" I gave a sheepish grin and told her they were all recommended in a planning book I had. She laughed at me and asked what I did for a living. They weren't surprised with my answer. When I finished my questions, I asked if they had any other info for me. I had waited for some sort of spiel, but there wasn't one. They had nothing else for me. I could have left that place after 20 minutes, but I stayed longer because I kept waiting for some epiphany to either go with the place and save my $3,000, or go with Place B because it would be totally worth it. There was no epiphany.

I felt more pressure from the people at Place A. They asked me questions about place B a few times: "What did they quote you? Can you bring in your own alcohol there?" At the same time, Place B was one of the first places I went, so the woman there didn't really have a chance to ask me questions like that. Still, though, I don't think she would have.

I tried to be open-minded about Place A and not compare it to Place B, but it was hard. At the same time, though, three thousand dollars ...

So I guess my big question is which is it better to have: $3,000 and a fun, funky menu mix, or more bathrooms, more space and a more convenient location for me and my bridesmaids?

To bling, or not to bling?

As you know, I enjoy my gym time. I've blogged more than a few times about it. My gym time is something I take very seriously.

I have several pet peeves at the gym. A few have to deal with what people wear while they're working out:

• I hate when girls wear sports bras with no shirts. What are you trying to accomplish?
• I also hate it when girls totally color coordinate their entire outfits -- down to their eyeshadow. Yes, eyeshadow. I've seen girls show up at the gym with teal shirts and a hint of teal eyeshadow to match. Is that eyeshadow going to help her do more crunches? And why did she put on makeup to go to the gym?
• I especially love it when girls wear big hoops or dangly earrings to the gym. How do you run on the treadmill like that? Can you honestly tell me your hair doesn't get caught in those things? I didn't think so ...

So as you can guess, I'm not big on wearing jewelry to the gym. It just doesn't go together. But now I find myself stuck on what to do.

I feel naked without my ring, and it's something I love to wear. The first time I went to the gym after K and I got engaged, I didn't wear it. I was going to be working out -- why did I need it?

The thing is, though, that I worry about it no matter where it is if it's not on my hand. What if someone broke into my apartment and stole it? What if I left the ring in my car and someone broke into it and stole it from there? What if I left it in a locker just while I'm working out and someone stole it from there?

The only place I feel safe leaving the ring (besides my finger) is my apartment. Even then, I worry a bit, and I still want it on my finger.

My band is platinum, so it isn't as easily damaged as gold. Any scratches could simply be buffed out. Besides, when I do any kind of lifting at the gym, I wear gloves so I don't have to worry about having calluses on my hands. Those would protect my ring.

I'm still stuck on what to do, though. So tell me -- do you wear your ring to the gym? And what about other places?

Do you take it off to shower or to put on lotion? Is it on when you're using hair gel or antibacterial hand cleaner? Do you swim with it on, or do you worry about the chlorine? Do you only take your ring off when you're cleaning it?

Any advice you have on the wearing of the ring would be greatly appreciated. I want this ring to be in tip-top shape for a long time. After all, I'm going to be wearing it for the rest of my life!

What would you do?

I need some serious advice. I'm totally stuck because what I want to do and what I feel like I should do are two totally different things. I think I know the answer, but I'm indecisive, and I want another opinion. Or two. Or eight ... *ahem* hundred. ...

This weekend is ER's 23rd birthday. She keeps saying it's not a big deal because "nothing special happens when you turn 23. It's just another birthday." But she also says the great thing about birthdays is that you celebrate being alive and simply surviving another year. Her birthday is Sunday.

If this weekend was almost any other weekend on the calendar, I would definitely go to Louisiana to see K. He came here last weekend, and all we have are our weekends -- that's the only time we can see each other. In the summer, he'll be out in the field a lot for drills and training and such. Last weekend, we were in Oklahoma visiting my family. Next weekend, we'll be with his family in Pennsylvania the whole time for his cousin's wedding. Last weekend, before I realized what the date on the calendar was and that ER's birthday is Sunday, K and I had planned to just relax together -- just the two of us. We were going to watch Elizabethtown (partly filmed in OK!!) because he's had it on Netflix now for like a month because I want to see it. It was going to be about us.

K spent all of last weekend in the car for me. Also, on Saturday, one of his friends and his wife have just moved to a new house, and a group of the guys are getting together to help him build a fence. I know most everyone who will be there, so it would be fun. I was looking forward to it.

But ER only turns 23 once. She has to do something with work on Saturday, so she and her boyfriend are going out for dinner Saturday night. Afterward, they're going to call and "we'll" all get together. Problem is, "we're" isn't all planned yet. I figured ER would want to wait until her roommate and childhood best friend, Emily, was free to come out with all of us. After all, we are the "Wednesday girls." But Emily is working on Saturday night. And Friday and Sunday nights. So that leaves WK and me. Which isn't bad, but I could see WK backing out. In the past when there weren't plans, it happened. It wound up being just ER and me, or nothing happened at all. Even though I'd started mentioning the weekend two weeks before to try to come up with plans.

If I stay here this weekend, I'll just hang out in my apartment Friday night being bored. Saturday, I'll probably go to the gym and clean my apartment or something. I'll wait all day until ER and her boyfriend call, and then we'll go meet wherever they want to meet. I could see it happening where we all get there, hang out for a bit and everyone is tired, so we leave at midnight. Which would make me pretty pissed. But at the same time, I've rarely been one to party until 4. If I give up my whole weekend, though, for one night, then it better be one hell of a night.

If I go with K, we don't have to have any plans. I'll be fine doing whatever. We'll probably go to the gym together Saturday (so either way I'll be healthy). We'll watch movies together and hang out with his friends building the fence. Sunday would be ours.

I know what I want to do, but it's not what I think I probably should do. And to be honest, it wouldn't be such a tough decision if there were at least some freakin' plans! If I stay here, I risk the chance that ER gets home from her thing with work, goes to dinner and is tired. And if we go out, she'll have church the next day unless she decides to skip (which has happened before).

Keep in mind that K is 5 hours away, so it wouldn't make sense to go to see him Friday after work and come back in time for Saturday night -- it's Texas or Louisiana (unless you have a jet, pilot's license and nothing to do this weekend).

Knowing all of the above, if you, lucky reader who isn't me, were in my situation, what would you do?