Real men love football

I'm so excited it's finally football season again. Maybe that's part of the reason it suddenly feels so much like fall.

One thing about life in Oklahoma and texas is that football is huge. Guys love it. Girls love it. That's it. It's inspirational.

Here in VA, they have other sports. Hockey. ... ... I'm sure there's something else, but the point is, you can take the girl out of Oklahoma, but you can't take the Oklahoma out of the girl. My awareness that hockey exists here is solely due to my confusion that people can get wrapped up in any other sport than football (and sometimes NASCAR -- hey, my brother works for them. don't judge). I mean, we have basketball and baseball in OK, but we still know the big show starts in September (and sometimes, when we're very very lucky, late August).

In OK & tx, I always had plenty of people to talk to about college football. I never really had to even seek people out. But in VA? Not so much. And I definitely haven't found a girl here who likes The Greatest Sport Ever Invented.

I first realized the gravity of the situation when the whole conference realignment was going on. The rumor that my beloved Sooners would become part of the PAC-10 was at its highest point. I was stressed. I didn't like the uncertainty.

I tried to talk about it to a coworker, Matt. "Do you follow college football?"

"No. Why?"

I ignored that first part. Since he's male, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I started going into the conference realignment. I had only been talking about 5 seconds when he interrupted me.

"Did you ever watch Charlie Brown?"

"Huh? No." I was confused why he'd be changing the subject from football to kids' cartoons.

Matt went on to tell me about the teacher, and how whenever she talks, all the kids hear is, "Woh woh wohwoh woh woh ..." (I had seen enough Charlie Brown to know that.) "That's what you sound like to me right now," he said.

I looked at him in amazement. And for the next 10 seconds (until my mind was back on the realignment), I wondered how on earth his wife is able to think of him as a man.