Monday, December 29, 2008

Evidently you have to be here to understand it

I just saw a coworker in the kitchen this morning. She asked how my Christmas went -- "Did you get to see your husband? Wait, doesn't he come home soon?"

I said, "Yeah, like in less than a week and a half."

"Oh my gosh! Are you so excited?"

"I'm stressed!"

She gave me a confused look, turned and walked away quickly.

Guess next time I shouldn't be so honest.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've grown to learn people can't handle the truth as cliched as that sounds. I totally get it though. I understand. I would be a little stressed about making sure things were just right.

I'm also convinced most people lead shallow existences and never truly experience the depths of emotions that we try to medicate ourselves against with mediocre entertainment.

Knot

Anonymous said...

Way back in the sixties, I got married in March and left for Viet Nam in April. Nine months into the one year tour I saw my wife for five days in Hawaii. When I finished a year in Viet Nam (2nd Bde, 101st Airborne) and went home I didn't care if there was two inches of dust under the couch or twenty pairs of shoes on the floor in the bedroom closet. What mattered, and matters today, is a smooth transition to that bunch of compromises we call a happy marriage. It's not about iPods and big screen televisions. Sharing the responsibilities again (I never did take over the checkbook and we are much better off for that), working together, laughing, serious talks, time alone as individuals and time alone as a couple, planning a future, respecting each other's desires and goals....that's what you guys need to work towards.
In the old days (WWII, Korea) the troops had time to settle down a tad while they traveled home across the seas. Today, a short plane ride gets one home. That means no transition to speak of. One of the reasons the troops get demobilized, so to speak of, at a place like an old Army camp in Lousiana or Mississippi is so the vets can depressurize a bit. I'm sure Chaplains speak to them before the families show up. There is counseling.
Don't worry about clutter or dust. Don't be a chatterbox. Just be yourself. Be sure that he keeps in touch with his old buddies. Have him get their home addresses and maybe even the names and addresses of someone stable in their family. 'Cause to tell you the truth, years from now he might want to contact an old buddy and the chance will be gone. Reunions are good things. Wives should go to them also. His friends had families waiting too. They went through the same worry cycles that you did. They can relate to what you went through.
I was able to track down some old friends from my unit in Viet Nam. Today I sent e-mails to buddies from other tours of duty. When people talk about the Band of Brothers it's changed somewhat. Today that Band includes both men and women, service members and families. You are part of that Band or I would not have sent you this comment to your blog.
So, have a Happy New Year and get ready for the rest of your life. Enjoy and take time to smell the roses.