It's easier (even if it's slightly more stressful) to have K half a world away in Iraq than to have him five hours in Louisiana.
At least when he's in Iraq, I know I can't be with him on a daily basis. Here, as the days go by, the reasons for my staying in Dallas make less and less sense.
If K winds up staying in Louisiana, I just may move as soon as we know. Why drag it out?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Thursday, March 05, 2009
OH. MY. GOSH.
This totally changes my answer to the whole, "What's the first thing you would do if you were a man?" question.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
I'm makin' an entrance!
Miss Amy tagged me for this meme two months and one day ago, and for some reason as I laid in bed this morning trying to catch another 45 minutes of sleep after my workout and before getting ready for work, I remembered I still haven't done it.
Oops.
So here it is, fashionably late. I'm supposed to reveal 10 things about myself, and then tag 7 other people. Well, since it's so late, you've probably all done this thing, so I'm tagging no one. If you want to do it, feel free, but I won't hate you if you don't.
1) I suck at parking. I'm so bad that a lot of times, I'll straight up open my door, peek at the parking line and then readjust. It's a rare occurrence when I manage to park in a straight line, and it kind of makes me want to do a happy dance.
If I ever manage to park in a straight line and be perfectly centered in my parking spot, it won't do me good for long because I'll immediately climb back in my car and floor it to the closest gas station so I can buy a Lotto ticket.
2) I recently realized that if I gain any weight at all, the place it becomes most obvious, unfortunately, is my face. A 5-lb weight gain can evidently make the difference between me having cheekbones or a round, fuller face. (Which evidently leads to my FIL calling me fat.)
3) I am not inviting my mom to the Dallas wedding. I made this decision several times, which means I faltered on it several times. But every single time I started doubting not inviting her, something would happen to remind me why I had decided to exclude her to begin with. This time, I'm sticking to my guns.
4) I am one of those people who works really hard to stay in touch with friends. Which is funny, since several of my good friends, including K, are terrible at staying in touch. I used to wonder if maybe these friends were better about keeping in touch with other friends, but they just didn't think I was worth trying to keep up with. Or I'd wonder if they were leading such amazing lives that they didn't have time to answer the phone or return calls. Now, although I still don't quite understand why, I know keeping in touch is just not everyone's forte.
5) I really, really want to go on Wheel of Fortune. I would rock at that game.
6) I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I have a good job with some awesome perks and a pretty decent salary, but I'm ready for a change. I just don't know that this economy and the potential move location (whichever it may be) will make this the best time for a change.
7) K is the most amazing person I've ever met. He makes me feel so lucky, and sometimes the part of me that worries I'm like my mom feels like I don't deserve him.
8) I have a closet full of solid-colored shirts of various styles (3/4 sleeve, short sleeve, long sleeve, knit, cotton, cable-knit, etc) and a drawer full of tank tops of various styles (lots with lacy trim, a few patterned, and a lot of solids) for layering. This is because if I see a cute patterned shirt, I worry that it'll be too obvious where it's from or that everyone else will have the skirt, shirt or dress in the same fabric, so I usually don't buy it (especially if it's in the store's ads a lot). And I don't want to buy a shirt with a company's logo on it because if I'm going to advertise for them, they should just give me the shirt! So it's solids and layering for me ... unless I find a cute striped shirt or polka-dotted tank. (Exciting, huh?)
9) When I booked our reception venue two years ago, the reception coordinator asked me my favorite wedding-related thing I'd ever seen. She said it could be anything -- color mix, flowers, ceremony idea, picture ... whatever -- and it could be something I'd seen in real life or a movie. I immediately knew exactly what my answer was: a scene from Love Actually, my favorite movie ever. It's the part right after Keira Knightley gets married. Just as she and her new husband turn to walk down the aisle and exit the church, a small choir appears in the loft and starts singing "All You Need Is Love." An amazing soloist comes out and picks up the melody, and small groups of musicians stand up and play from within the congregation. That scene makes me so happy, and it makes me cry every time. Ever since I answered that question with the coordinator, I've secretly hoped that K arranges something like that at the end of our wedding. (Lots of band people will be there!) I'm pretty sure I would just die of happiness right then if he did. (Readers I know outside the blogosphere, feel free to drop that bird in K's ear -- but don't tell me if you do!)
10) I hate card games.
Oops.
So here it is, fashionably late. I'm supposed to reveal 10 things about myself, and then tag 7 other people. Well, since it's so late, you've probably all done this thing, so I'm tagging no one. If you want to do it, feel free, but I won't hate you if you don't.
1) I suck at parking. I'm so bad that a lot of times, I'll straight up open my door, peek at the parking line and then readjust. It's a rare occurrence when I manage to park in a straight line, and it kind of makes me want to do a happy dance.
If I ever manage to park in a straight line and be perfectly centered in my parking spot, it won't do me good for long because I'll immediately climb back in my car and floor it to the closest gas station so I can buy a Lotto ticket.
2) I recently realized that if I gain any weight at all, the place it becomes most obvious, unfortunately, is my face. A 5-lb weight gain can evidently make the difference between me having cheekbones or a round, fuller face. (Which evidently leads to my FIL calling me fat.)
3) I am not inviting my mom to the Dallas wedding. I made this decision several times, which means I faltered on it several times. But every single time I started doubting not inviting her, something would happen to remind me why I had decided to exclude her to begin with. This time, I'm sticking to my guns.
4) I am one of those people who works really hard to stay in touch with friends. Which is funny, since several of my good friends, including K, are terrible at staying in touch. I used to wonder if maybe these friends were better about keeping in touch with other friends, but they just didn't think I was worth trying to keep up with. Or I'd wonder if they were leading such amazing lives that they didn't have time to answer the phone or return calls. Now, although I still don't quite understand why, I know keeping in touch is just not everyone's forte.
5) I really, really want to go on Wheel of Fortune. I would rock at that game.
6) I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I have a good job with some awesome perks and a pretty decent salary, but I'm ready for a change. I just don't know that this economy and the potential move location (whichever it may be) will make this the best time for a change.
7) K is the most amazing person I've ever met. He makes me feel so lucky, and sometimes the part of me that worries I'm like my mom feels like I don't deserve him.
8) I have a closet full of solid-colored shirts of various styles (3/4 sleeve, short sleeve, long sleeve, knit, cotton, cable-knit, etc) and a drawer full of tank tops of various styles (lots with lacy trim, a few patterned, and a lot of solids) for layering. This is because if I see a cute patterned shirt, I worry that it'll be too obvious where it's from or that everyone else will have the skirt, shirt or dress in the same fabric, so I usually don't buy it (especially if it's in the store's ads a lot). And I don't want to buy a shirt with a company's logo on it because if I'm going to advertise for them, they should just give me the shirt! So it's solids and layering for me ... unless I find a cute striped shirt or polka-dotted tank. (Exciting, huh?)
9) When I booked our reception venue two years ago, the reception coordinator asked me my favorite wedding-related thing I'd ever seen. She said it could be anything -- color mix, flowers, ceremony idea, picture ... whatever -- and it could be something I'd seen in real life or a movie. I immediately knew exactly what my answer was: a scene from Love Actually, my favorite movie ever. It's the part right after Keira Knightley gets married. Just as she and her new husband turn to walk down the aisle and exit the church, a small choir appears in the loft and starts singing "All You Need Is Love." An amazing soloist comes out and picks up the melody, and small groups of musicians stand up and play from within the congregation. That scene makes me so happy, and it makes me cry every time. Ever since I answered that question with the coordinator, I've secretly hoped that K arranges something like that at the end of our wedding. (Lots of band people will be there!) I'm pretty sure I would just die of happiness right then if he did. (Readers I know outside the blogosphere, feel free to drop that bird in K's ear -- but don't tell me if you do!)
10) I hate card games.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
We're like the Sonic couple, only cooler
K (who's half-Italian): "They have this sandwich called the Italian."
Me (being a ball-buster): "Sounds disgusting."
K: "It has pepperoni on it."
Me: "Did you not hear me?"
K: "Babe, part of marriage is blowing the other person off."
Me (being a ball-buster): "Sounds disgusting."
K: "It has pepperoni on it."
Me: "Did you not hear me?"
K: "Babe, part of marriage is blowing the other person off."
Bringing the fight back home
I've blogged about how K's homecoming was a little more of an adjustment than I thought it would be. I guess we weren't the only ones having that problem.
I always thought the hard part of all of this would be the deployment -- that if you can make it through those long months of separation, you're in the clear. Sure, it would take time and some getting used to as far as having the soldier home again, but it's all an adjustment that surely families and spouses would be glad to make. Evidently that's not really the case.
I just learned last night that a couple we're friends with (the fiance I went to visit in Daytona last summer) has broken off their engagement. Another couple we're close to is fighting nonstop (Yet they're still ring shopping, for some reason. They've been together almost as long as K and I.). It seems every week I hear of more couples fresh off of the deployment who are getting a divorce for whatever reason (sometimes due to things they learned their spouse did during the deployment) .
Thankfully, K and I are doing just fine. While his return was an adjustment, it was never anything to make me worry that we wouldn't make it. Change is just something you have to deal with in any long-term relationship; it's just part of life.
Obviously I don't know all the details that led up to the problems our friends and others are having after this deployment. It breaks my heart that several of them have gone through such a challenging time, only to fall apart when they should be getting to celebrate being together again.
I don't know if this epidemic is common after a deployment of this length, but the whole thing has definitely been a learning experience for me. I've heard K's friends mention a few times how deployments can make or break a relationship (I can't even tell you how many couples got engaged or married before the tour or during R&R), but I always thought that was really more true for couples who are just dating.
K and I have both been surprised by the number of couples calling it quits. But it's a good reminder to be a little more patient as K continues to settle in back home, to be even more grateful for having him here, and most of all, to be sure I don't take K or any part of our relationship for granted.
I always thought the hard part of all of this would be the deployment -- that if you can make it through those long months of separation, you're in the clear. Sure, it would take time and some getting used to as far as having the soldier home again, but it's all an adjustment that surely families and spouses would be glad to make. Evidently that's not really the case.
I just learned last night that a couple we're friends with (the fiance I went to visit in Daytona last summer) has broken off their engagement. Another couple we're close to is fighting nonstop (Yet they're still ring shopping, for some reason. They've been together almost as long as K and I.). It seems every week I hear of more couples fresh off of the deployment who are getting a divorce for whatever reason (sometimes due to things they learned their spouse did during the deployment) .
Thankfully, K and I are doing just fine. While his return was an adjustment, it was never anything to make me worry that we wouldn't make it. Change is just something you have to deal with in any long-term relationship; it's just part of life.
Obviously I don't know all the details that led up to the problems our friends and others are having after this deployment. It breaks my heart that several of them have gone through such a challenging time, only to fall apart when they should be getting to celebrate being together again.
I don't know if this epidemic is common after a deployment of this length, but the whole thing has definitely been a learning experience for me. I've heard K's friends mention a few times how deployments can make or break a relationship (I can't even tell you how many couples got engaged or married before the tour or during R&R), but I always thought that was really more true for couples who are just dating.
K and I have both been surprised by the number of couples calling it quits. But it's a good reminder to be a little more patient as K continues to settle in back home, to be even more grateful for having him here, and most of all, to be sure I don't take K or any part of our relationship for granted.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Why does the military hate me?
Remember how absolutely, ridiculously anxious I was to get engaged to K? I thought once we got engaged, we would soon be married, and that would mean that we'd get to live in the same place. I was definitely ready for that.
So we got engaged, and we wound up getting married quite a bit quicker than we'd thought -- because K deployed. Not only did getting married not lead us to living in the same place, but it left us living on different continents, on different sides of the world, with a 9-hour time difference. Boy, was the joke on me!
But, as you know, after 14 months away, K came home. And we were anxiously awaiting the list that would tell us where we'd get to live together (FINALLY) for the first time in our four-year relationship.
Our top three preferences -- Colorado, Seattle, Hawaii -- are among the most popular choices of places to be stationed, so we really didn't expect all of them to be on our list. K's branch manager -- the powerful wizard who compiles this list based off of all the needs and openings in the entire U.S. Army -- had told K that with the rough few years he's had (three deployments in addition to spending a year in Korea, and being stationed in two of the most undesirable posts in all of the Army), they'd try their best to get us in one of those places.
We were pretty excited for this list, since it would tell us where we'd spend our first three years living in the same state, city and home. I couldn't wait to know our choices so I could daydream about our combined lives in whatever charming cities the list held.
We waited and waited. Well, we finally got the list a couple weeks ago. And we've hardly shared it with anyone.
Frankly, we're a little annoyed by it. This is the not-so-fabulous compilation of choices K and I were given for where we will spend the next three years together:
The Cali desert? I'm not living anywhere near a place with "Death" in its name.
Boise? The job is actually one K has no interest in whatsoever. In fact, he once told me if he had to do this type of job, he'd want to shoot himself. That would not be good for our marriage.
Virginia? We love the state, and we'd both love to live there someday. The trouble is -- once again -- the job. K would be in an office all day, and he really wants to have more interaction with soldiers. So would loving the area make up for being in a job you hate?
Two places on the list offer jobs right up K's alley: Louisiana and Kansas.
Teeny, tiny, nothing-around-for-miles, Louisiana. In a town where they call Wal-Mart "the mall." Where your only options to eat (besides fast-food chains) are a hibachi grill, a Mexican restaurant, and one of those steakhouses where you throw peanut shells on the ground.
Where we could afford a really nice house, since no one wants to live there. Where no one would ever want to visit us (not that I'd blame them). Where we'd be a decently short drive away from Florida for beach vacations, and Oklahoma to see my family and go to football games.
Where K would be very well taken care of, since the colonel (who, in K's review, called him "the best Captain in this battalion" and said of K's recent time in Iraq, "He played the biggest role in the unit's stunning success in quelling the insurgency") has already told us he'd have K work for him again.
Where I'd have no idea what to do job-wise.
Where we've been anxious to leave for the last few years ...
Which leaves us with Kansas. Which may not even become available.
The only pros about all the items on this list are that K is guaranteed to NOT deploy in the next three years. Considering he's been gone 18 of the last 36 months, we're OK with that. (But you better believe I was 100% freakin' serious when I asked K if we could get that "guarantee" in writing!)
So it looks like we've got some thinking to do. And it would also seem that, once again with the U.S. Army, the joke's on me. Awesome.
So we got engaged, and we wound up getting married quite a bit quicker than we'd thought -- because K deployed. Not only did getting married not lead us to living in the same place, but it left us living on different continents, on different sides of the world, with a 9-hour time difference. Boy, was the joke on me!
But, as you know, after 14 months away, K came home. And we were anxiously awaiting the list that would tell us where we'd get to live together (FINALLY) for the first time in our four-year relationship.
Our top three preferences -- Colorado, Seattle, Hawaii -- are among the most popular choices of places to be stationed, so we really didn't expect all of them to be on our list. K's branch manager -- the powerful wizard who compiles this list based off of all the needs and openings in the entire U.S. Army -- had told K that with the rough few years he's had (three deployments in addition to spending a year in Korea, and being stationed in two of the most undesirable posts in all of the Army), they'd try their best to get us in one of those places.
We were pretty excited for this list, since it would tell us where we'd spend our first three years living in the same state, city and home. I couldn't wait to know our choices so I could daydream about our combined lives in whatever charming cities the list held.
We waited and waited. Well, we finally got the list a couple weeks ago. And we've hardly shared it with anyone.
Frankly, we're a little annoyed by it. This is the not-so-fabulous compilation of choices K and I were given for where we will spend the next three years together:
- Korea
- the California desert (right between Death Valley & the Mohave Desert)
- Boise, ID
- Virginia
- Louisiana (where K is currently stationed)
- (potential option) ROTC position in Kansas
The Cali desert? I'm not living anywhere near a place with "Death" in its name.
Boise? The job is actually one K has no interest in whatsoever. In fact, he once told me if he had to do this type of job, he'd want to shoot himself. That would not be good for our marriage.
Virginia? We love the state, and we'd both love to live there someday. The trouble is -- once again -- the job. K would be in an office all day, and he really wants to have more interaction with soldiers. So would loving the area make up for being in a job you hate?
Two places on the list offer jobs right up K's alley: Louisiana and Kansas.
Teeny, tiny, nothing-around-for-miles, Louisiana. In a town where they call Wal-Mart "the mall." Where your only options to eat (besides fast-food chains) are a hibachi grill, a Mexican restaurant, and one of those steakhouses where you throw peanut shells on the ground.
Where we could afford a really nice house, since no one wants to live there. Where no one would ever want to visit us (not that I'd blame them). Where we'd be a decently short drive away from Florida for beach vacations, and Oklahoma to see my family and go to football games.
Where K would be very well taken care of, since the colonel (who, in K's review, called him "the best Captain in this battalion" and said of K's recent time in Iraq, "He played the biggest role in the unit's stunning success in quelling the insurgency") has already told us he'd have K work for him again.
Where I'd have no idea what to do job-wise.
Where we've been anxious to leave for the last few years ...
Which leaves us with Kansas. Which may not even become available.
The only pros about all the items on this list are that K is guaranteed to NOT deploy in the next three years. Considering he's been gone 18 of the last 36 months, we're OK with that. (But you better believe I was 100% freakin' serious when I asked K if we could get that "guarantee" in writing!)
So it looks like we've got some thinking to do. And it would also seem that, once again with the U.S. Army, the joke's on me. Awesome.
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