Too bad it was just a dream ...

The weather is gorgeous. I've had my windows open the last two days and three nights. There is a bit of rain in the area, so there's some light wind. I can hear my windchimes on the porch. Every once in a while, the sound of a car door opening and the car leaving will drift up through the window. I can smell the air outside. It smells nice.

My shades will blow in every once in a while with the breeze. My apartment feels nice. It feels like home.

It feels like fall. Something about it reminds me of K. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact I wish he were here with me right now watching TV, just lying on the couch cuddling and relaxing. That would be nice.

I had a dream about him last night. I didn't even remember when I woke up. Something while I was getting ready for work this morning, standing at my bathroom mirror putting on makeup and trying to push Noodle to the side so he'd stop licking me and I could put on my mascara. It was like K was with me in my dream, like it was real. We were lying on my bed, and I was snuggled up against him. I could smell him, and he smelled so good. I kept thinking, "This feels so great. Was it always this amazing just lying here?" And I said it, "Did this always feel this good?" But it did, and I know it did.

I'm hoping that was one of those premonition dreams. (Another cool part is that in my dream, I noticed K was a bit more buff than when he left, which he told me would happen because he's going to work out a lot while he's gone. I think his buffness level before was absolutely perfect, but in my dream he was obviously still freakin' hot with the added chest muscles.) :)

I got to work, and I logged on to facebook while I was bored at work. I saw that Brad's brother Kyle, who didn't really get along with Brad and who didn't really ever like me much (and honestly, he was a really hyper jerk who thought he was a pirate and used the "f-word" at least 4 times a sentence), had posted a note in response to one Brad posted last week. Brad had posted something about the troops. Here is a small part of his viewpoint:

I mean, I’ve heard the saying, “Even if you don’t support the war you have to support the troops,” before. I’ve also heard that the troops are fighting to protect our freedom and that as a result people shouldn’t be mad a protestors because the free speech they are exercising is the very thing the troops are fighting for.Upon reflection I think both of these ideas are absolute crap. You don’t have to support the troops and they aren’t fighting for freedom.

Being against the war is sort of like saying you are against the slaughter of animals to make fur coats. Fighting in the war is sort of like the guy that kills the animals. You can’t have a war if no one is willing to fight in it. ...

I am thoroughly convinced that my right to free speech (and my freedom in general) would remain in tact regardless of the U.S. occupation in Iraq or the war on terror. I would even argue that my freedom is somewhat diminished with respect to the new government surveillance and wire tapping laws that have stemmed from the war on terror.

I posted a response because I had quite a different opinion from Brad. Here is my response:

I think a lot of people who joined the military joined before the war started, but many joined after because they wanted to fight for our country. Yes, there are some people who want to just kill people or blow stuff up, but not all of them. K joined because he wanted to help people and do something good and get to see the world. Every once in a while, part of his job includes having to go somewhere on the other side of the planet to fight for our country and get us out of a mess. He's proud to do it, and I'm proud OF him for doing it. And he IS fighting for our freedom. If he and other soldiers weren't over there, the fight could come here. Just thought you needed a different perspective.

Then, Kyle decided to weigh in by posting a note of his own. His note was called, "Support Iraqi, Down with Freedom Crushers!" Kyle said some really harsh things in his note:

This note is in reference to Brad's note about troops. I can't show anyone what [says my name here] said... but I'm starting a new Facebook group about how she sucks.

I'd like to reply to this note and all of the comments. I'm overwhelmingly in favor of our troops... as long as they are in America. I'm overwhelmingly against the "war" if you can call it that, and the troops who are occupying a formly sovereign nation. ...

Our troops, from all accounts of battle I've read (Memoirs of an Infantry Officer, Black Hawk Down, In Harm's Way, A Rumor of War, etc) are like all other troops in foreign wars. At first they are their expecting adventure, then they are caught in the heat of battle, then they are excited about triumphs and American military might, then they are disillusioned and want to see their friends come home safetly, and finally, they accept it as some kind of survival skill... just trying to get as many people as possible home in one piece.All of these things tally up to something we must all remember - Military service is a choice. There is not implemented draft. Either you are smart enough to stay out, or you might get shipped to some desert shithole and get shot. Plain and simple. SO!

[My name]'s comment. [My name again], you are an idiot. I've always admired that you can put your head in the sand and not see the desert for the cactus roots you're eating. No one is fighting for me. Not K (who I don't know... but sounds kind of lame), nor anyone else. ... I'm free to think and breath and laugh at your ignorance, and no one is fighting for that. In fact, shooting people in Afganistan, Iraq, Korea, South America, or anywhere else is against my freedom. This K is just not smart enough to have a better job NOT shooting at people. Or he has a hardon for killing and blowing up. Either way... I'm not impressed, and I'm not supportive. I support cops. At least they are bent on "keeping the peace," and for the most part - are helping my life... not fucking up international politics. ...

[referring to another person's comment about Brad's post] They didn't HAPPEN to be in the Army at the wrong time. It is always the wrong time if you don't want to be shot at. I'm pretty sure that is the whole point of being in the infantry. And amazing;y, having balls has nothing to do with getting involved in the military. It is more a lack of brains or good sense than a surplus of balls. I have about as much sympathy for people in the Army as people who are addicted to heroin. ...

That being said, I know all of you troop supporters are out there praying for the 10,000+ victims of our misguided bomb and rocket attacks. Praying for the safety of the children of these countries we are relentlessly killing and shooting up their streets. You are all feeling pangs of guilt and remorse for the tragic deaths of 1,000s of these people who never asked anyone to "liberate" them, and who never asked for bullets to be flying into their open markets. I say... support the Iraqi's. I support people who want assholes from other countries to stay the FUCK out of their country when they don't come in peace.

I know Kyle well enough to know that saying something would not help my case at all. I know it wasn't worth my time, but it still upset me. How could he seriously have no idea?

A few people posted in response to Kyle's note. One girl said some people join to get themselves out of trouble or because it's their only chance of having a steady job because they aren't very smart or for whatever reason.

Another person said some people join the military because it's the only way they can go to college, and because the benefits are so great. Both this person's and the other person's comments are true, but that's not the whole story.

Then, tonight, I checked again just to see what others had said. And I found this new note from someone who's actually friends with Kyle. This guy, Chris, fills in a lot of what I wanted to say:

I usually don't chime into things like this, but I may as well. I live out here on the left coast and I'm as liberal as they come, and don't support the war, but Kyle's sweeping statements on everybody in the military are ignorant and naive. I have a great friend who's in the Kansas National Guard, he's 32 and just became an officer. He's extremely well-spoken, and very intelligent. More intelligent than Kyle, in my opinion. He joined the Army at 18, before anyone had any idea of Iraq (saying people joining the Army because of Iraq is preposterous... enlistment's down more than it ever has been because of OIF). ...

He wanted to serve and protect, much like the police officers that Kyle cherishes. He joined because his goal for a vocation was not just to accrue as much money as possible, but to somehow sacrifice and give back. ...

My point is, it's not so cut and dry as "Guy orders guy to pull trigger so guy does it happily and kills someone." Especially in this country, where war and capitalism go hand-in-hand, where conflict breeds profiteering off innocents at home and abroad. It's truly fubar.

And who calls someone an idiot in a public forum argument at 24 years old ? Especially when it concerns a loved one of theirs serving abroad? Have some tact.

It made me feel so much better to see someone not only defending the troops for the awesome thing they're doing, but actually calling Kyle out for calling me an idiot. And it was someone I don't even know.

So I sat here and watched Grey's Anatomy and Six Degrees tonight. Grey's Anatomy always makes me cry. I'm not a regular viewer of the show. I had just seen the last two episodes last season because I was recording them for a friend on the only TV I have in my apartment. I wanted to know if Izzy really quit.

And then Six Degrees came on. It seems like a pretty good show. I was through probably half of it, when it showed this one character -- Laura, I think -- who'd been pretty down through the whole thing. She'd mentioned a husband, David, and how he wasn't coming back. She never said anything about how it happened. But she's sitting one night watching a news report. Someone comes in her living room, and she immediately shuts off the TV. When the person leaves and you hear her door close, Laura turns the news report back on. It's in the same spot as she stopped it -- she's watching a recording. She's looking at this man, a reporter for CNN, on TV. His name is David. He's giving a report, talking about bombings that have happened. He's hunched down behind something, and you can hear explosions. He says something about getting better cover, and right then, the feed cuts off and the screen goes to static. The woman in the CNN office says something about how they're having video difficulties. Laura starts to cry and rewinds the tape.

I immediately started bawling. I can't imagine what that would be like. I hope I never have to find out.

But knowing that there are people over there putting their lives on the line and that's their job ... How could Kyle not appreciate that? How can he be so clueless?

I'm just glad there are people out there who know better.