Bad timing -- and not enough time!

Sorry I've been so MIA lately! Things are really hectic getting everything wrapped up for the wedding this weekend. Even though it's a small wedding and everything is planned, it's finalizing things and preparing myself that's so difficult.

What makes it harder is that I'm doing all this with a new puppy and a scrapbook with a seriously looming deadline. I haven't been to the gym since last Wednesday, which sucks. Hopefully I'll get to visit the gym in Florida on Friday or something.

I leave tomorrow for Louisiana, and then K and I drive to Florida with his dad and brother on Thursday afternoon. I'm eager for the vacation. And I'll get to see my brother, who's driving down from North Carolina.

The last month or so has been a lot more hectic than I thought it would be, mostly thanks to Piper. She's cute, though, so I don't mind. But still, there are several things (my scrapbook included) that aren't where I want them to be right now.

The biggest thing is something I know will happen again over the rest of our lives together, but I feel like now is an unfortunate time to feel this way. I kind of hinted that I was feeling this way a few weeks ago, but I haven't blogged about it or even talked about it at all until the past week. K spent the majority of August training, so I didn't see him for four weeks. It's not that long, and it's certainly not something we haven't experienced several times before -- or even the longest we've been apart -- but it still takes time to get used to each other again. Even after going a week without seeing each other, it's nice to be able to look at K's face and to be able to curl up next to him when I'm talking to him, rather than snuggling up next to my phone and a pillow.

The amount of transition time for me depends on how long we've gone without seeing each other. The longest it's taken was just under 24 hours, and that was after four months of not seeing each other while K was deployed. But that transition time is important -- that time of getting used to each other again and getting to enjoy each other's company in person. What's funny is so many times through the course of our relationship, I've realized I'm so used to our conversations being mainly via phone that I've found myself thinking, "No! I won't be able to talk to K here because there's no cell phone signal here!" -- and he's right next to me in the car.

The night before we got Piper, K wound up working late. By the time he got to Dallas, he was exhausted and ready to go to bed. We talked for a little while before we went to sleep, but I still didn't feel quite caught up or in the right place. The next day, we got up and busied ourselves with getting last-minute things for Piper and getting ready to host 10 people for an OU watch party. We didn't really have any time to ourselves to relax before we picked up the puppy. We had to shove a fast-food lunch down our faces at about 3 that afternoon because we had no time to do everything. I never felt like we really got to catch up to where we usually are.

And the next weekend, we went to Norman with four other people. Same story then.

Last weekend, K and I relaxed just the two of us in Louisiana. We didn't do anything, which was nice, but we still had Piper to follow around and watch. There were a couple more heated moments regarding Piper (like after she peed on K's bed ...), and although we were together, there wasn't really much quality time. That's what's been missing.

As far as the wedding goes, I have no doubts about it. I have known K is the person I'm supposed to marry for more than two years now. We have a great relationship. Even now, with my feeling like the connection isn't quite what it usually is, we have a really good friendship. It's not that my feelings are gone, they're just not where they usually are.

I'm hoping this weekend before the wedding, we're able to get some quality time together -- just the two of us.