The welcome home ceremony (and life since then)

I had never been to a welcome home ceremony before. I had no idea what to expect. CG had told me that when Joe was coming home from Iraq, he was supposed to be home Tuesday. All of a sudden the Sunday before he was to arrive, she happened to stop by his house for some reason. Turned out Joe would be coming home sometime that day instead. Lucky for her, she lived in the same town, so it wasn't a big deal.

It's tough just being a girlfriend. Many times, you're not included in what's going on. There are FRGs (family readiness groups) that keep the families back home up to date on what's going on with the soldiers while they're gone. They also serve as a support group. It's for families. Girlfriends aren't family (yet).

Since K's the commander of his battery, I actually would have been the leader of the FRG. We're not married, though, so I'm not involved. I'm sure it would help if I lived closer than 5 hours away. But so many guys date girls who live out of town. K and I are definitely not a minority case when it comes to military relationships. Having him gone and being in this situation has really taught me a lot, though. When K and I are married down the road, I want to make sure to work hard to keep girlfriends involved. Especially since often -- like in my case -- the girls have no experience with the military. We don't understand a lot of the acronyms; we don't know what to expect or sometimes how to deal with what's going on. And having a simple conversation with another military girlfriend or wife who knows what you're going through or has been there before means the world.

So knowing CG found out about Joe's return in such a random way, I wanted to make sure I had my bases covered in case K couldn't get ahold of me to let me know of any changes. I e-mailed a couple of friends who are married to fellow officers and buddies of K. One of the girls called me the last night I was in Dallas, as did one of K's buddies. I knew K was on schedule to arrive at 1 p.m. the following day.

I got on post with no trouble. There were quite a few people headed to the same place I was. Everyone was with someone else -- families, groups ... I was by myself. (CG wasn't able to come.) Luckily, CG had mentioned signs she'd made when Joe got home from Iraq. That's how I knew to make a sign so K would be able to find me easier. My sign looked pretty good. Once I got there, I had to admit I had the best looking sign of all of them. It was the neatest and the prettiest. :) (Not that I'm bragging.) My sign said, "WELCOME HOME CPT. [K's last name]" so he could find me quickly.

I found the parking lot that was near two places -- one of which the soldiers would arrive. I followed a woman and her two young children who seemed to know where they were going into a gym. There were bleachers set up on one side of it, and they were pretty packed with people. There were signs and banners all over welcoming the different units. There were flags set up on the far end of the gym, and a PowerPoint presentation was showing pictures of many of the soldiers taken when they were home with their families. There was music blaring in the gym -- patriotic music, and all kinds of sad songs talking about how someone's been gone too long: "Far Away," by Nickelback; "Come Home Soon," by SheDaisy; "When I'm Gone, by 3 Doors Down ... A woman walked around handing out small flags to people on the bleachers. Several of the soldiers on post had come by to welcome home those who had been gone. They stood on the ends of the gym. None of them sat on the bleachers.


























I didn't get the memo, but a lot of women were wearing short skirts or super low-cut shirts with push-up bras. I guess it makes sense, since the guys haven't seen much cleavage over the last few months. Still, I thought my decision on my outfit was just fine.

I found an empty spot on the edge of the bleachers and sat down, thinking it would be good because I'd be able to get up faster and run to K when I saw him. The leader of K's FRG, though, wound up seeing me and bringing me back to sit with her and a few other women I'd never met.

I don't know if it was the songs or the excitement or the thought that K was only miles away -- or maybe it was even relief it was almost all over, but I found myself a few times tearing up as I sat on those bleachers staring out the door, waiting for any sign that the soldiers, and K, would be walking in soon. One of the ladies I was sitting by pointed out when a semi drove by. "I see a semi!" she said. "That's their bags. That means they'll be here soon."

Many women were getting teary-eyed or anxious, going outside to smoke -- easing their anxiety, I guess, but I didn't understand why they'd be greeting their husbands with ash tray breath. One of these women leaned in and yelled, "We've got buses!" Everyone in the gym started screaming. People jumped up and ran to the doors to take pictures of the buses arriving.
The soldiers quickly climbed out of the buses and lined up in formation outside. I was standing on the top bleacher, so I had a decent view above the heads of the 20 or so people who were snapping pictures at the door. I kept trying to catch a glimpse of K, but no such luck. The soldiers were all facing the gym. All of a sudden, they simultaneously turned to the right -- obviously an order from someone we couldn't see or hear because everyone was screaming. Well, after this movement, everyone screamed even louder. I'd never been so excited to see someone turn right before! I wasn't screaming, but my eyes were definitely welling up as the guys then started filing into the gym one by one.

The first few guys began coming in, and "The Boys are Back in Town" started blaring from the speakers. The soldiers formed several rows in the gym. A few guys did some sort of welcome home speech and ceremonial thing -- honestly, I don't know or care who it was. What matters is these guys knew what torture it is seeing the person you love there, in the same room as you, but knowing you have to wait a bit longer to hug him or her, so their speeches and ceremony lasted all of about a minute and a half.

K had been one of the last ones to walk into the gym, and I held up my poster the moment he did. As soon as he faced forward, I could see him scan the crowd, and he saw me pretty quickly. I hope I never forget the smile he had on his face when he found me.














As soon as whoever was talking said, "You're released!" everyone went running toward their soldier. Being at the top of the bleachers had its advantages because it allowed K to find me quickly, but it meant I had to wait on all these other people to move out of the way before I could get down. Granted, no one took a long time to clear the bleachers, but since K was one of the last in, he was further back in the gym. It was a maze getting to each other, but we kept an eye on the other the whole time so we wouldn't lose sight of each other.

As soon as I got to him, we gave each other this huge hug. I buried my face in his neck and squeezed my arms around him. It felt so good. It was nice that it was the two of us, because we could stand there and hold each other and I didn't have to let go so CG or someone else could hug him, too. I had him all to myself.

Several guys came up to thank K for his leadership overseas or to welcome him home. The whole time, he kept his hand on the small of my back or held my hand.

We stayed around post for a bit longer. A few of K's buddies had come to see him arrive as well, so we talked to them for a bit. I had missed seeing those guys! We packed up all K's stuff in my car and headed back to his place, where I promptly got to sit at his desk and finish my work for the day from my computer. I decided it would be better to just get it over with than to have to come back to it later. Especially since it had to be done that day -- and within a couple hours.

I noticed that things with K and me weren't quite the same. It was weird -- part of it was like he'd never left. Conversations weren't awkward or anything like that, and we couldn't quit cuddling or hugging -- we just wanted to be near each other. Something was missing, though.

I still loved him and wanted to do whatever I could to make him comfortable and happy. But it was like the connection was gone. I didn't want to say anything to him. I was worried and hoping whatever was wrong would fix itself -- and soon. I remembered the comment Alyssa had left on my blog about how great the reunion is and how it almost makes everything worthwhile.

Who could I talk about this to? I couldn't say anything to my family or to my friends. I couldn't even blog about it. I mean, everyone knows how in love with K I am. I've known since very early on I was going to marry this guy. All of a sudden, I was doubting things because it wasn't the same. I was having this internal battle: How can you feel differently about him? Every time he said "I love you" in e-mails or on the phone, it was the best thing you'd heard or read since the last time he said it or wrote it. He's perfect for you. What's wrong with you?

Luckily, sometime the next day -- not quite 24 hours since he'd been back -- everthing clicked back to normal. Relieved, but wondering if I was the only person who this happened to, I mentioned it to K's buddy's wife. It made sense to her how that could happen. I'm not sure if it was part of some self-preservation thing in my subconscious that didn't just stop when I saw him again. Whatever it was, I'm glad it's gone.

It's funny how people reacted with K being back. CG and Joe called right when we'd gotten to K's apartment. I told them we'd just gotten there, that K was unpacking a few things to get in the shower. They seemed hesitant to ask to talk to him, but I called him in. A few other people called, and one friend stopped by that night, but each one of them only talked for a few minutes before saying something like, "Well, I'll get out of here/off here and let you guys be alone now." Some even insinuated things; one guy even said, "Well, we'll let you guys get to your gratuitous sex now."

We just spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday pretty much to ourselves -- lounging around, watching TV, catching up. Friday, we went shopping and went to eat at Johnny Carinos, which is my favorite restaurant. K's a big fan, too, and he'd been missing good Italian food.

It's great having K back and knowing he's safe and reachable with a simple phone call or a five-hour drive again.