K's dad is a special guy. They don't make many like him anymore. He's not Italian (it's K's mom's side that's Italian), but K commented this week that his dad is probably more Italian than his mom was. He loves to talk to you like he's got some kind of contraband that he wants to share with you: "Hey, come here a sec." He motions with his head, then says quietly, "Do you like corn? They had it down at the market for 30 cents a pound. I bought a ton. You want some?"
Don't forget that my FIL is actually a year older than my grandparents. Either K's selective hearing is genetic (quite possible), my FIL is a terrible listener, or he just plain can't hear a word we're saying (maybe it's a combo of all three), but many times when I'm in the middle of a sentence, he'll interrupt me with that old man version of, "Huh?" which somehow winds up sounding more like, "Haaah?"
The man gets up every day at 4:30. What he does in that time is beyond me. But that early rise causes him to want to eat dinner at 5:00 every night. And he also wants to cook for us. We convince him to wait until 5:30, but I always wind up hungry again at 8:00.
He buys things in bulk, and he likes to label things with a special lettering code so he knows when he bought things. Why it's important that he's the only one who knows that he started using that country-sized roll of foil back in 2003, I don't know. He buys five jars of peanut butter at a time. He buys two of everything else as well. When he opens something at home, he buys a new one so there's a replacement ready and waiting for when the open container is used up in 3 months. (I, too, hate running out of things, but I just buy another when there's about a third left. That seems to work for me.)
As much as my FIL likes to buy things in bulk, he really doesn't like replacing things before he has to. So the shower curtain liner, while completely intact, is a bit moldy at the bottom. And the "fitted" sheet on the bed in K's room (where we've slept this past week) is probably older than me, so the elastic was probably shot at least 10 years ago. Now, it's just nonexistent. Every morning -- and even sometimes in the night -- we wind up having to fix the sheet so it covers the mattress again.
What's funny is that K's dad has gotten into trying to pare down some of the things in the house. And he needs to. He could have the garage sale of the century! He's got sleds (yes, that's plural), a humidifier, a microwave, a refrigerator, ski gear, books, books, an encyclopedia set (I didn't even know people had those anymore!), and many jars of peanut butter. He's got an entire enclosed porch full of who knows what. What I do know is there is a small path in the items that allows you to get to the back door; otherwise, it would be a complete war zone (which my FIL would probably be able to survive thanks to everything inside the room).
My FIL's method of getting rid of the excess items is by adding to everyone else's clutter. At random times of the day, he'll ask us, "Hey, do you guys need dishes? How 'bout pots and pans? I got a leaf blower. Ya need a leaf blower? Haaah?"
1 comment:
I didn't realize K's dad was so old. Sounds very similar to my FIL situation. Ed's dad is the same age as my grandma would have been if she was alive, so I understand what it's like to have an elderly in law. My FIL does the same thing with getting rid of his stuff by adding to everyone else's clutter. Drives me nuts! Just remind yourself that at least you're not having to care for him yet, which we are doing with my FIL.
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