Guess what I'm sending K in his next care package?

When I talked to K on Friday, he told me about one of the guys who'd just gotten back from R&R. This guy is a little ... different, if you will. He and his wife are a very open, very liberal couple, to put it nicely.

Anyway, the wife sent this guy an email saying, "Call me immediately." Of course, that's the fastest way to freak these poor guys out while they're on the other side of the planet on deployment. And of course her request came while the phones were down. So the guy emailed his wife back, explained about the phones and asked her to just email him whatever it was she needed to tell him.

Her response was a lone photo of her and their daughter, who was holding up a sign that said: "Tob!as worked! I'm gonna be a big sister!"

Evidently the guy and his wife really wanted to get pregnant. I hadn't heard the Tob!as story before, and because I was so much in shock that (a) these people are procreating again (They have two kids already, but for Pete's sake, they're swingers! That's three people who might think such behavior is acceptable!) and (b) they prayed every time before they had sex, I can't even remember what little information K told me about the Tob!as story.

But basically this husband and wife prayed every time before they had sex that the wife would be blessed with a child. If she did get pregnant, they promised that they would name their baby Tob!as.

Me: "But what if they have a girl?"

K: "I don't know, they name her Tob!a?"

Me: "I wonder why they thought they'd have trouble getting pregnant. I'm pretty sure a barren woman could get pregnant while her husband's home on R&R. That being said ..."

K: "You're doubling up on birth control pills in September?"

Me: "Pretty much."

K: "You need to just start drinking lots of Mountain Dew. ... Well, actually, that's more for me."

Me: "Mountain Dew is supposed to low.er your sperm c.ount?

K: "Supposedly."

Me: "Well, you know what's really supposed to work? Briefs. Maybe you should switch to those soon. Just through September."

K: "What? I'm not changing to briefs!"

Me: "Well, would you rather change to briefs for a couple months or be changing diapers for a few years?"