Talking numbers

• Days since K's birthday: 2
• Age K turned on said birthday: 30
• Amount of time passed in K's deployment: 9 months, 1 day

(People, this means babies have been conceived and born since I last saw my husband. Actually, I think I've read about one of them!)

• Amount left in deployment: less than 5 months!

(Take that, baby makers!)

• Days until K's and my first anniversary: 25
• Days until hot air balloon ride: 19

Now for my favorite:

• DAYS LEFT UNTIL I SEE K:

10!!!

I'm not riding my bike again for a long time

The Ho.tter'N Hell Hund.red was last Saturday. (I had a few other things to catch you up on first.) I rode all 102 miles. It's over. Thank goodness.


The starting line. Notice how it's still dark.
















The ride started after the Army band played the national anthem. Then, there was a flyover, and a canon was fired.
















Looking back over downtown W!chita Falls.











One of the early rest stops had flags lining both sides of the road leading up to it. It was really cool. I didn't take this at a very good angle -- the flags looked much closer together from the middle of the road.
















At the rest stop just before what's known as Hell's Gate, this guy was spraying people down with a water hose. It felt awesome!
















The HHH is known for Hell's Gate. In fact, one of the quotes you hear often about the ride is "Hell's G.ate sets the standard." Because of the intense heat that you experience in August in Texas, there's a time limit if you want to complete the 100-mile route. To enforce the time limit, they have Hell's Gate, which falls 60 miles into the ride. It usually closes at 12:30, but they have medical technicians who determine if it needs to be closed earlier due to weather conditions. It can close as early as 11:00. (Those who reach Hell's Gate after it has closed are rerouted to an 80-mile path.)
















It's Hell's Gate! It looks different than I thought it would. :)





















This is the "unofficial rest stop" I'd heard so much about from people I know who'd ridden the HHH before. It used to be just a man and several people handing out beers on the side of the road. I heard it was cheap, warm and just half-a-cup worth, but everyone who told me about it swore it's the best beer you'll ever have.
















The stop usually falls at mile 98. The route was 102 miles this year, so the stop fell at mile 100. That wasn't all that had changed. They had six kegs, each a different kind of beer. They even had hot links and chili!





















AJ and I, both done with the ride. AJ's computer on her bike said that it was 106 degrees during the ride. It factored in road heat, so that was higher than the actual temperature. But considering we definitely feel the road heat, I say it was 106!
















No more getting up at 5:15 on Saturdays for training rides!!! Woohoo!

Done with the drama

I almost forgot to post about my unwelcome surprise. I haven't gone to bed yet, so it's still "tomorrow" for me, even if the clock doesn't say so.

The "unwelcome surprise" on my birthday wasn't really that much of a surprise. I didn't know it was coming, but when it was there, it wasn't completely unexpected.

I was at the bar with all the girls, and I was checking my email on my phone to see if I'd heard from K. My phone began downloading a new message, which I was sure was from him.

Wrong! It was from my mom. This was the first time I'd heard from her since the attempt at dress shopping in July. Go figure. I immediately said to the girls, "My mom just sent me an effing email."

I kid you not, every one of them almost simultaneously said, "Don't read it now. Don't let her ruin your birthday." Pretty sad, huh?

I won't bore or disgust you with the full contents of the email, but here are some of the highlights (and by that, I mean low points).


The dramatic beginning

Tomorrow you turn 25 and yet I still remember every detail of your face the first time I saw you as a nurse held you out for me to see. I hope you have a wonderful day.

I’ve struggled these past weeks trying to turn over in my mind what to say to you after our most recent disaster of my trying to come see you. And sadly, I am still at a total loss for words although I have thought about it for countless hours.

Getting to the middle

In a sermon the other day the following question was posed: If you are estranged from someone, for whatever reason, and you get that phone call that says, “I’m calling to tell you that he/she has died”, can you honestly say that you have done everything possible to mend the fence?

I fully acknowledge that there were too many times that I failed as a wife and a mother. I fully acknowledge that I caused severe emotional and physical pain to the people I loved the most in the world. And I sincerely apologize.

You asked me that day I tried to visit you why I have to cry all the time. I am totally mystified as to why after five or six years of this, you don’t cry at all. To answer your question however, the reason I cry is that I miss my children. I miss the smell and feel of your hair as I kiss you hello and goodbye and all the other little, trivial things that happen between a mother and daughter. Most of all, I miss feeling at ease around you.

(For the record, my family does not kiss hello or goodbye. We never have. Just more proof that she lives in her own, false little world.)

[Next, she goes off on some weird, random, pointless story about her mother, who -- guess what? -- she doesn't get along with. At least it runs in the family.]

The even-more-dramatic-than-the-beginning exit

The point that I am trying to make is that I want to be your mother and to try to make up for the times I let you down but until you are ready…ready to forgive and ready to start over, then there is nothing that I can do. I will not be spoken to ever again the way you spoke to me that day and all the other days just like it.

Although I want more than anything in this world to be a part of your life and for you to be part of my mine, I will not sacrifice myself anymore or accept any less than to be treated with respect.

It breaks my heart that all this time has gone by without you in my life but until you want me in your life, I will not expect anything of you. It hurts too much.

I have done everything I know to do.

I will not be responding to this email, since nothing I have to say to her would be kind or respectful. Honestly, I'm done trying for now (guess she's missing the Dallas wedding too). It may sound harsh, but in the end, I think it's best for both of us. I really think it's just what I have to do.

My birthday weekend (only a week late!)

Man, have I been busy lately! And there have been a lot of pictures to post, which always seems to delay my blogging. But things are finally slowing down (for a few days), so hopefully I can catch you up. Here's what happened the weekend before last -- with pictures!

Friday, Aug. 15:
I left work at 2, then went home to clean my apartment from top to bottom. I realized I was starting to sort of nest, but I can't really call it that since I'm not pregnant (it's literally scientifically impossible). I told K about it later, and he called it either QCing (Quality Control) or Preparing for Inspection. Both are so, so appropriate.

Either way, I found myself doing major, obvious things like vacuuming and scrubbing sinks. I did productive but less obvious things like vacuuming my couch. And then I did ridiculous things like shred papers and vacuum walls (stupid dust bunnies form in the texture from the paint).

That night, I went to an early birthday dinner with Brit, then came home to finish cleaning.


Saturday, Aug. 16:
I got up at 5:15 to go to my last training ride for the Ho.tter'N Hell Hundr.ed. We rode 84 miles. I got home a little after 3 (we rode in the middle of nowhere), showered, ate lunch, and then took a 45-minute nap.

I woke up when Rachel and Addy (two of my three college roomies) got here from OK to celebrate my birthday. We talked for a bit, then got cleaned up and headed out to dinner. I wore a comfy green dress with the hot 4-inch heels I got a few months ago but hadn't worn yet (I never wear heels that tall!).






















Heather, Elle, AJ and Shel (my coworker) met Rachel, Addy and me for a girls' night. One of AJ's friends joined us, and it worked out well because everyone had at least one person there that they knew well. We were able to see Michael Phel.ps get his 8th gold medal just before we left the restaurant. Everyone was cheering and shouting as we watched. It was fun.

































My yummy birthday cookie. We all enjoyed this thing!
















I enjoyed it so much that, in a desperate attempt to not leave any in the dish, I managed to get cookie AND ice cream on my dress. On my 25th birthday. (Hey, you're never too old to get that excited over chocolate!)





















Then, it was on to my favorite bar, the piano bar! Shel wasn't able to join us, which was a bummer, but we all had a great, hilarious time.

















Addy, me and Rachel
















Blogger buddies! Heather, me and Elle
















Elle bought me my choice for a birthday shot ...
















... and THEN told me she doesn't like tequila!
















We all started getting silly by the end of the night ...





















... which is how it should be!





















We left the bar around 1:30, and when we got home, I was so exhausted I just crashed on my floor. I have this thing about letting guests sleep in my bed, and I'll take the couch, floor or air mattress (I've done that since I was little). Since I was smoky from the bar, I wouldn't get on my couch, and since I was too tired to care about showering first, I was plenty happy with the floor. And I slept great.


Sunday, Aug. 17: (my 25th birthday)
Despite the late night, I woke up early that morning. Rachel or Addy had put a blanket on me in the night, and I put it under my head to use as a pillow. I was able to doze off again for just a little bit and woke up a little after 9. I knew I was awake for good, so I just laid in my floor running through the previous night again. After about 20 minutes, I thought it was late enough to get up and make some breakfast for the three of us. I baked some cinnamon rolls and took Piper outside.

The girls were still out cold, so I hopped in the shower. Just as I was finished, K called to wish me a happy birthday. We were only able to talk for a few minutes, since it was the middle of the day in Iraq and he had work to do.

Rachel and Addy finally woke up, so we ate cinnamon rolls, hung out for a bit, and then headed out for greasy cheeseburgers and fried goodness (cheese fries, beer-battered onion rings and sweet potato fries).






































After that, we went shopping. I bought a new pair of polarized sunglasses and some workout gear from an outlet mall. Great deal on the workout gear; not so much on the sunglasses, but oh well. It was my birthday. And they're my eyes. They need to be protected!

Soon after shopping, the girls had to head back to OK. As soon as they left, I got in my car and headed to AJ's so we could go downtown and watch some friends of ours whose band was playing. I really just wanted to hang out and go to bed early, but we'd already told the guys we'd be there. Their band was really good, so I'll probably go see them again sometime when I've got a little more energy.

When I got home, I was so exhausted. I needed to shower and wash my sheets, but since I didn't feel like waiting for them to wash and dry, I just set my alarm for a little earlier than usual so I could shower Monday morning.

K called me at about 1:30 that night. I was so out of it in our conversation that the next morning, I wasn't even sure how long we'd talked or that I remembered everything we talked about. Oops!

Rather than give them to me late once he gets here for R&R, K sent me my birthday presents in the mail. He got me the OU bag I wanted and a Son!care toothbrush. He just got a new Son!care himself a few months ago, and he loved it so much he had joked about getting me one for my birthday. I told him I didn't care, that I'd use it and probably like it, so I wasn't really surprised that he sent it. And for the record, that thing is AWESOME! I love it!

He also sent me the best birthday card ever. The card itself was nice, but nothing groundbreaking as far as cards go. K took the liberty of personalizing it, though, which was cute. But then he wrote me a note that took up the whole left side of the card. It was the sweetest thing I've ever read. It made me miss him even more, but it made me really excited that we'll get to see each other soon.

Nothing like a great birthday to make you feel like the luckiest girl on earth.


Tomorrow, I'll blog about another birthday surprise, which was definitely not a welcome one. I bet some of you can guess what it is ...

It's booked!

I've got my present for K for our first anniversary set for Tuesday, Sept. 16, at sunrise. Our anniversary is actually Sept. 22, but I wanted to be sure to get it in early in case we have to reschedule due to the weather.

Plus, it'll be so hard to keep it a secret! I'll just have to be strong. I'm so excited!

Not a bad way to start my day!

When I got in the office this morning, I got a compliment on my shoes, which are the ones I bought to go with my dress I'm wearing when I pick K up for R&R. Another coworker said, "I've got to see these cute shoes!" She peeked around the corner at them and said, "They are cute! Especially with your pedicure!"

I was leaning over to sign up for a blood drive at work, so I put my purse on the counter. "Your bag is really cute too! It's so summery!" said the first coworker.

Um, the shoes were from Payless -- on sale. The "pedicure" was an at-home job. As for the bag, I bought it last summer at Wal-Mart for $9.95.

Then, I got an email that I'd gotten mail at the front desk. It was a package from K to "add a great start to your birthday week":






















That'll do it!

(In case you were wondering, he had sent the flowers through a national flower company. They arrived in a box. I guess in transit, a couple of the flowers broke off near the top of the stems. That's what the two roses in the small white vase are.)

I've hung out with a lot of bloggers lately

I can't believe all the things I did last weekend. Here's a rundown:

• Got a few things fixed on my bike on Friday night
• Bought a pair of cowboy boots (I think I might have had a pair when I was little, so I can't call these my first, but they might be ...)
• Got up at 5:15 Saturday morning and rode my bike just over 72 miles
• Had dinner at AJ's house for her sister's going-off-to-OU (smart girl!) party
• Went country dancing in my new cowboy boots with AJ, her mom and sister, and 18 billion of her sister's friends
• Hung out with AJ and a few friends after dancing -- and went to bed at 4 a.m. (remember when I said I woke up that day) (I did take an hour-long nap once I got home from cycling, but still!)
  
• I skipped church to sleep in. I needed it. I don't even remember the last time I slept past 9:30 (if that).
  
• Hung out at the pool with Heather and Elle for several hours (Long enough for me to get a little pink. Oops! I thought we were only going to be out there for an hour, so I didn't wear sunscreen.)
• Went to dinner with Brit to catch up on life over margaritas

I was also pet-sitting a coworker's dog, who managed to pee all over my carpet so many times I lost count, so I was going all over my apartment with carpet cleaner all weekend. That was fun.

Anyway, I did manage to upload some pictures tonight, which made me realize something really cool that I never blogged about that happened a few weeks ago.

While s was on her Tour o' Tejas with her boyfriend, she swung through the Dallas area, so we met up for some ice cream. It's definitely interesting meeting a blogger. You know so much about the ins and outs of their lives -- and they know so much about yours -- that it's weird to finally meet them in person. Will it be awkward? Will you have anything to say to each other? Will they be at all like they are in their blog? Will they be a serial killer?

Lucky for me, s turned out to not be a murderer, and our little ice cream date wasn't awkward at all! I swear, from the moment we got out of our cars, we were chatting nonstop. We talked for over 2 hours before she had to leave to meet up with her boyfriend's family. We did manage to get a picture, though, and I definitely hope to meet her again in the future -- maybe even in her territory next time (which she mentioned a couple times is much cooler than Texas in July)!

















Aaaand while we're at it, pictures of AJ and me from Saturday night. Because I'm wearing the exact same shirt as I was three weeks ago when I took this picture with s. I swear I have other shirts.

















I had to get the boots too!

Turns out you CAN lose something you never had

I've spent the last three weeks since the 15k ramping up on my cycling. I've got a century ride (that's bikespeak for "I'm psycho enough to ride 100 miles in one day") coming up. It takes place just south of the Oklahoma/Texas border ... at the end of August. Appropriately enough, it's called the Ho.tter'N Hell Hundr.ed. (This ride is where Cam.elBaks were invented, people!)

Anyway, so I've been taking this training class to prepare for it. We have spin classes in a tiny room where the thermostat is set at 80 degrees. Considering there are low ceilings and about 30 people very strategically crammed into this room, it gets very warm in there after an hour of spinning.

We also spend our entire Saturday mornings riding an increased distance each week. It got up to 107 degrees during last week's 60-mile ride (OK, 58.2 miles).

One of my coworkers who'd taken the class before told me he lost about 10 pounds during the course of the class. I thought maybe I'd leave with a nice, flat stomach with awesome lines accentuating my abs -- just in time for K's R&R. I'd be OK with that.

What I've realized is happening instead, though, is a change that's not as welcome.

The majority of my skirts just aren't fitting right anymore. The waist still fits OK for the most part, which is weird. So they fit at the waist, but the skirt just hangs funny everywhere else. I noticed this when I started running more at the beginning of the summer, but since I've started cycling, the problem has gotten worse.

I've tried on skirts a few times at my favorite clothing stores. It's the same with them, though. Even when I try a size smaller, the skirts still look funny. I thought it was a fluke at first -- like maybe I'd just chosen styles with a funny cut -- but I'm afraid it's not the skirts.

This morning, I finally realized what's happening: I'm losing my butt!

I'm literally cycling my ass off.

Let the full-steam preparations begin

If all goes as planned in K's and my little calendar of events, he will be arriving in Dallas for his R&R exactly one month from today.

One month from today!!!

Things that are ready:

1. My outfit. (I even managed to find a cute pair of comfy black wedges to go with it!)
2. My reproductive system. I've been very diligent about taking my birth control pills at the same time every single day. No babies (yet), please!

Things I still need to do:

1. Clean my apartment from top to bottom.
2. Get a haircut.
3. Buy a plastic drawer bin thing (pretty sure that's what they're actually called) to give K a makeshift dresser while he's here. Mine's too full to add his clothes in there! Plus, this way he gets his own space.
4. Go through all his things that are randomly stashed around my apartment so I can make sure he can easily get to the things he might need while he's here.
5. Schedule a hot air balloon ride!!!

Things to do in a couple weeks:

1. Rewash all the clothes he might wear while he's home. I want them to be fresh and clean for him!
2. Get a bikini wax. Eek! I've never had anything waxed in my life. But what better excuse than this?
3. Buy Miller Light. I can't welcome the man home from war and not have his favorite beer in the refrigerator!
4. Get his cell phone turned on.
5. Add K to my gym membership. Just because he's home for 18 days doesn't mean we're going to be sitting around the whole time. Plus, working out together is a pretty good aphrodisiac -- not that we'll need one, I'm sure. lol
6. Bake something. I think he might enjoy eating homemade cookies that haven't spent a full week in a box being transported through random insanely hot Third World countries.

I can't believe it's almost here. With all the preparations I have (I'm sure there are more than what's on this list), I'm thinking I've got a very busy month ahead of me! I'm just glad it's the fun kind of busyness!

Good gift ... or good disguise?

I thought of a really cool gift to get K for our first anniversary (as a surprise!):
















It's a little more expensive than I'd hoped, but I think it would be really cool. It's something I never thought I'd do. And it looks so fun!

I really like the idea of doing adventuresome things with K, and he's said the same thing. This would be kind of adventuresome. It's definitely something different. It would be a great memory, along with great pictures.

We'd lift off at sunrise. The ride would last one hour. Upon landing, we'd get our own little bottle of champagne to enjoy. All for $400.

I'm really excited about it, which is making me wonder if it would be a better gift for me instead -- am I disguising this as a gift for K so I have a good excuse to do it? Is it too girly of a plan?

I do think K would enjoy a hot air ballon ride, and it's something neat to do together. Jury's still out, though. What do you think?

At least it's Friday

I swear, I've been so tired lately. I don't know what the deal is. And work? I've been so unmotivated, so unproductive. I really don't want to do anything. I meet my deadlines and get the things done that I have to do. But when it comes to the projects that don't really have a set deadline, I hardly touch them.

I spend my 8 hours at work, and then I head home. Twice a week, I take my spin class. I try to get a good upper-body workout in when I can so I don't lose all my upper-body strength while I'm preparing for my century ride in late August.

Work. Workout. That's my life.

Today's Friday, which is good -- only I have to get up at 5:45 tomorrow morning so I can head to the middle of nowhere for this 59-mile training ride. It's supposed to feel like it's 110 degrees tomorrow. Ugh.

I need a vacation.

And then I think about K. He doesn't even get weekends. He sleeps less than I do, and as hot as it is here, it's nothing compared to where he is. When we spoke last week, he told me the thermometer the day before had read 144.5 degrees. That's almost a sauna! Not to mention the fact that when he's in that 144.5-degree heat, he's wearing boots, pants, a helmet and a jacket with a shirt under it. And enough bulletproof gear to add plenty of weight and heat on top of that. Kind of puts things in a different perspective.

Last Sunday was the 8-month mark of the deployment. It really has gone quickly so far, thank goodness. The next time I flip a page on my calendar, I'll be just days away from seeing K. Days away from a vacation.

It's almost over. That's some good motivation to suck it up and be a trooper for one more month.