The post I've been putting off for months: How one of my best friends married a douchebag

Rachel is one of my best friends. I've known her since we were 5, when we were in the same kindergarten class. We were in the same class every year until the 6th grade. We double-dated to junior and senior prom. Her first job was working for my dad. We roomed together all through college. She's been a big part of my life.

When Rachel and I were little, as pretty much all little girls did, we would talk about who we'd marry someday. In all that time, it never occurred to me that Rachel might marry a douchebag.

In October of 2008, I met this guy Rachel was dating, "Dre.wby". They hadn't met long before then. Dre.wby had found Rachel on MySpace, and they'd talked a couple weeks on there before meeting in person. When I met Dre.wby, we were at a bar, so it was loud, and Rachel was a little buzzed. I didn't really get to talk to Dre.wby. It was pretty much just an introduction. He didn't seem at all excited about meeting me, which isn't the best move when you're meeting one of your girlfriend's closest friends for the first time.

But I brushed it off. Hoped the next meeting would go better. It didn't. I met Dre.wby again before Thanksgiving. I was back in our hometown for the holiday, and Rachel met my dad and me out for appetizers and drinks. She brought Dre.wby.

K was deployed at the time, and Dre.wby is a Marine. He was more talkative in this meeting, but all. he. wanted. to talk about. was. the effing. Marines. He actually came off a bit insensitive to me, since he seemed to be interested in playing a compare penises (sorry to be vulgar) game of sorts about where my husband was, what he was doing, and how it differed from Dre.wby's deployment a couple years earlier (By the way, Dre.wby is a Marine photographer. My husband was in charge of 100 soldiers in combat. You lose, Dre.wby.).

My opinion about Dre.wby remained the same: Unimpressed. What the hell is Rachel thinking? Which is the first thing my dad said when we left the restaurant.

I wasn't too worried, though. Rachel didn't talk about Dre.wby like he'd stick around long. In fact, she was annoyed by him a lot. Plus, he was younger. Rachel didn't go for younger guys, and he was 21 (she was 25). Just young enough to offer Rachel two of her very favorite things: spontaneity and spoiling. Surely he'd wisen up and get sick of it. And if he didn't, she'd wake up and realize Dre.wby is a jackass.

But then Dre.wby went out of town. And since Rachel had spent so much time around the nitwit, she missed him. She was used to him! It was only then that she started talking about Dre.wby a bit differently, but I still had hopes that she'd wake up.

I didn't get to talk to Rachel much over the next couple months (that's another thing -- she sucks at keeping in touch since Dre.wby came along). The next time we spoke was February, when she told me Dre.wby was living with her.

I had hoped and prayed every time that I spoke to Rachel that she'd pick up on my lack of enthusiasm about the relationship. Ask what I thought about him so I could tell her. Now that they were living together, it was too late. Shit! Rachel had never lived with a guy before. I hadn't seen that coming.

Dre.wby had wanted to propose to Rachel very early on. He planned it for their 6-monthiversary. Rachel picked up that something was going on, and she told him not to propose yet. She said she wouldn't get engaged until she'd known someone a year. Said even that was too fast; two years would be better.

Dre.wby held off, but he told a couple of our other friends in May that he was proposing in June (8 months in, if you're keeping count). Each time Rachel called me that month, I winced as I answered the phone. Dre.wby proposed at the end of the month. Rachel said yes.

She told me they were waiting until August of 2010 to get married. They'd definitely have a long engagement. I knew it was B.S, and unfortunately, I was right.

I called her one Thursday in August (of 2009, obviously), and she told me that she and Dre.wby had gotten married the Sunday before. Only their immediate families were there. They were going to keep it a secret. They'd have a full ceremony in August of 2010. She asked me to be her maid of honor. (I immediately started working on my speech. It's going to be a challenge to hide my feelings about the groom.)

The reason for the early wedding? Dre.wby would get a raise for having a dependent, so they could use the money both to pay off his debt and to save for their wedding and honeymoon. Rachel would also get added to his insurance, which would save her money.

Then, in October, they bought a house together. Which is so not the thing to do if you're trying to save money ($7,000 tax credit or not).

Now that the wedding is getting closer, it's time to really talk about showers and details and a bachelorette party. The more I find out about it all, the more blah I feel about the whole thing.

Rachel sent me a draft of their invitations the other day. Dre.wby designed them. They look nothing like Rachel. Or wedding invitations, for that matter.

The thing is, I really do just want Rachel to be happy. I'm afraid (and truly believe) that she's just comfortable. The one good thing about Dre.wby is that he treats Rachel well.

I want more than anything to be wrong about him. To get to know him better and realize that he really is perfect for her. But considering all of Rachel's other close friends feel the same, I don't think that's gonna happen.