Feeling much better

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I realized was that K had not called me last night. Just in case I had managed to sleep through my phone ringing or had mistaken it for an alarm and shut it off, I checked my recent calls list. K hadn't called. I knew that already -- I had woken up at least twice in the middle of the night in anticipation of his call. The fact he hadn't called meant his morning meeting had run late, something had come up or the phone lines were down. Whatever the case, all I could do was hope it wasn't long before he'd really be able to call me.

When I got to work, I felt the familiar stress and negative attitude hit me as soon as I got to my desk. I was very glad my boss and I had lunch plans so hopefully I could ease some of my frustration.

The lunch plans wound up being thrown up in the air, but luckily, we wound up going as scheduled. I had made a little outline of the work issues I wanted to talk about. As we drove to lunch together, my boss asked me how I've been. "Stressed," I said. She asked me about K, so I told her about the family group issue and how little I've been able to talk to K lately. I told her about the base attack (only a few of my co-workers knew about it) and how I found out through email.

"No wonder you've been so stressed," she said. She asked me if I'd talked to my mom. I told her it's been almost a year and that I haven't seen my mom since Christmas of 2006.

My boss filled me in on some things with her, and then she asked me about work. We talked for the rest of the time about the things on the list I'd made. My boss said she was really glad to hear all the feedback and that all of it was very good. A lot of it was things that are beyond her control, but it felt better to express my opinion to a supervisor, who might then be able to share that feedback with her supervisor. The things my boss is able to have an effect on seem promising. I felt so much better just getting all of that out.

Later tonight, K even called me. We were able to talk for about 45 minutes or so. It was really nice. We talked about a ton of things I'd meant to tell him or had asked him about in an email, but he hadn't had a chance to respond yet. We talked more about vacation plans. We talked about his new role and how he feels about it. He misses what he did before because now he's spending much more time in an office, and he's away from the soldiers for the most part. The job he's doing now will be great on his resume, but he really loves being out there working with the soldiers. He's doing some great, important work, and I hope he's just in an adjustment period still.

I didn't say anything to K about my slump lately because I don't want him to worry about me. I know it's just a temporary thing, so I'll be fine on my own soon enough.

I went running tonight with Topeka (my new friend who I ran the 5k with). We ran 4 miles, and it felt great. I really needed it after all the (yummy!) junk I ate in OK last weekend. Plus, it was just the two of us, so it was good to get some girl time in while I was doing something good for my body and my mind.

All in all, I'm feeling much better about things tonight. I'm still not feeling as chipper as usual, but I can definitely tell things are improving. And it feels good to have taken control of what I can to improve the things that were bothering me.