Friday, October 30, 2009

I'm employed ... and confused

I got offered a job this morning, and I took it. I'm kind of unexcited about it.

To start from the beginning, this has happened SO fast. I found the job listing on Wednesday. I submitted my application that morning, and I got a phone call Wednesday afternoon. They asked me to interview Thursday (yesterday). When I went in for the interview, I realized I was at a job placement company. I had thought I'd be interviewing at the workplace, with my potential future boss.

I've learned a little about the company and what I'll be doing. It's a temp position through the month of December, but it could very likely go permanent afterwards. (Just in time to interfere with any holiday plans, I guess.) I'll be doing administrative work, with a little editing work as well. I'll be making a fraction of what I made in Dallas, but that's OK. For starters, I'm living with K now. I'm not driving 10 hours every other weekend to see him, and our bills have gone from two apartments to one house. Plus, there's the fact that the Army gives him money for our rent since we live off post. I don't need to be making the same amount of money I was making in Dallas.

K would be OK with me staying home if I wanted to. It's nice to have the days to get things done for K, and I take care of things around the house so we don't have to worry about it when K is home. I mow the lawn, clean the house, go grocery shopping and cook dinner. Since I wasn't working, I took it as my job to take care of the house, so I did. There's been downtime, obviously, but more this week than ever in the past since we've been getting settled, had visitors or been traveling ourselves.

I'd honestly be OK with staying home all the time for the flexibility it allows. I can pick up work with the company I worked with in Dallas when they need it. Since the work is inconsistent, they pay very well when I can help. I have the freedom to get things done during the day, and if K has a 4-day weekend, we can pick up and go wherever we want. Only I can't justify staying home to myself. It's not like we have a child I'm taking care of; that would be different. If I did stay home indefinitely, I would seek out volunteer opportunities to help fill my free time. I would be more OK with that.

But I miss bringing home a paycheck. I hate having to ask K to put money in my account. (We've talked about combining them, but we haven't done it yet. I really don't know if I want to.)

I miss the pride I had in taking care of things myself. If I saw a cute shirt on sale, I could buy it because it was my money. If I have a gift to buy someone, it would be from me since I had my own money to buy it with.

I was initially excited about this job opportunity for the paycheck alone, but then came the interview. The interviewer asked if I would still be able to pursue my passion (I guess she meant editing) through freelance work. I told her I would, but I kept to myself that editing is NOT my passion. I enjoy it, but there's definitely no passion.

And then she asked me what my career goal is. Shit. Wouldn't I like to know? Instead of getting into that whole conversation, I spoke just to say something and finally ended with something about "using my degree."

The job description said a person with a journalism or English degree is preferred, and an ideal candidate would have 1-2 years' experience at a newspaper or publishing company. Check and check. So I guess I'll be using my degree here after all.

Trouble is, I'm not sure it's the degree I'm happy with anymore.

1 comment:

Kari said...

It is perfectly normal to want to change career paths. Heck I am a plant girl (graduate degree in plant breeding and molecular biology) and I now I do epidemiology and health policy research!! Sometimes working in a job that required you to use your degree (like the job you were offered) helps you decide what you want to do (or what you don't want to do). Good luck...and remember life is a journey not a race. It is okay to go off the "main path" and explore elsewhere (go back to school, try a new career etc).

Kari