Realizing my new hobby is high on cost, low on sexyness

Since K and I have entered this 150-mile bike ride, we decided we were probably going to need some road bikes. We got up on the last Saturday of March and went to a local bike shop. I had prepared myself to spend about $400 on a road bike.

Man, would that have been nice.

We stood in front of all the rows of bicycles, and the nice guy helping us explained the differences between the $475 bike (the cheapest in front of us) and the $669 bike (the second-cheapest). There were a lot -- the weight, the gears, the frame, the brand ... and the $669 bike just looked sturdier. And prettier. K and I each chose bikes in the $669 models.

The salesman let us go out behind the shop and take them for a practice ride to see if we really liked our choices. Now, I hadn't ridden a bike in about seven years, which is plenty of time away for me to feel pretty shaky on a bike. Especially when the tires are the width of spaghetti noodles. I was really scared to lean in any way on the bike. I just knew that if I was on it in any other way than dead-center, I'd fall. Those wheels just can't give you much room for error.

I was scared to go over speed bumps. I was scared to go over rocks. I was really scared to turn.

I felt like I needed training wheels (or wheels that were closer to the size of lasagna noodles).

I'd already paid my entry fee for the 150, though, and I'd even picked up my team jersey. I couldn't waste the bike shop guy's time and then not buy the bike. And I couldn't get K into this whole mess and drop out myself. If I left that shop without a bike and a helmet, I'd also be leaving without any shred of dignity, and with a boatload of guilt (but with a much lower credit card bill).

As you've probably guessed, I bought the bike. And a helmet. And a water bottle cage for the bike, a nice yellow cycling jersey and some lovely, sexy padded-@$$ shorts.

What's funny is when I tried on the shorts, I had no idea what to look for. I had three different pairs, and I quickly eliminated the first (and the cheapest, go figure) because of the extreme lack of comfort. That left me with two pairs.

One had softer fabric, and I liked them the most -- until I looked at the padding, which was giving me this odd, deformed look in my nether regions. That wasn't good.

I tried on the third pair, and I was glad to see that the padding on these wasn't taking on so much of it's own shape. I noticed the top of the shorts was covering up my belly button and rose even higher at my back. The others had been awfully high too. I stopped myself from folding the shorts down, and I leaned out of my dressing room. "Are these supposed to come up this high?!" I asked K and the bike shop guy.

Three women who were by the dressing rooms immediately erupted in laughter, and one of them said, "I take it you've never tried on bike shorts before?"

I changed back into my clothes, and K and the bike shop guy asked which pair I'd chosen. I explained I preferred the fabric of one pair, but that they looked funny. The guys laughed at me (seeing a pattern here ...). (What was I supposed to look at?! I'd never tried on bike shorts before! And I refuse to accept that just because I'm doing something athletic means I have to look stupid or unladly-like!)

I couldn't -- being the lady I am -- explain to the guys what it was that looked so funny. I whispered to K what the problem was, and the bike shop guy suggested I try the shorts on again. K came into the dressing room with me and agreed that my concerns were justified and that yes, those shorts did create a lumpy-looking crotch. He told me the softer fabric wouldn't make much of a difference, since you can't really feel the shorts when they're on. I went with the third pair, for the low price of $90 -- for padded-@$$ shorts!!!

By the time we left the bike shop, I had added about $900 to my credit card bill. (So much for my naive estimate of under $500!) At least this is something I'll use for a long time, and it's something I'm doing for a good cause. It'll be good for me and for my body, and it'll be something fun and unique to do with K.

I think, though, that before I get us into some other athletic adventure, I'll make sure it's a little easier on the wallet -- and that it comes with cuter clothes!