Third time was definitely a charm!

I went in on Saturday for my third massage. Since my previous masseuses had both been males, I requested a woman so I could see how different of an experience that would be.

As usual, the masseuse asked me if there were any specific muscles that were sore and would need extra attention. I told her my legs, which were sore thanks to doing a large amount of squats in 20 minutes and then running three miles (my workout buddy enjoys torturing me!).

As the woman began the massage, I realized how different each masseuse’s style is. This one was very fond of deep breaths, which worked for me. She also used the hot towels at the beginning of the massage, while the two men had both saved them for the end.

It was much easier for me to relax more quickly knowing a woman was giving the massage. It’s probably not very fair, but it’s true. When she massaged my legs, she uncovered my glutes a bit (thought not as much as the first guy). Since she was a woman and also since I’d asked her to focus on my legs, I didn’t think much of it. I also don’t know that I’d have said anything about the soreness in my legs if I’d had a male masseuse, since focusing on my legs would mean having to focus on the gluteal area as well.

Toward the end of the massage, they all asked me to roll over onto my back so they could massage my neck, shoulders, head and/or face. The woman held up the blanket for me to roll over, and when I did, I was surprised at how close she was standing to the edge of the blanket, making it more likely that she had seen my bare chest. That made me a little uncomfortable, but again, since it was a woman, I didn’t think as much of it as I would have if she had been a man.

The two male masseuses had stood a ways back when I rolled over, which I appreciated. If one of them had been standing as closely as the woman did, I probably would have covered my chest and asked him to move back. (Yes, it’s a double standard, but at least I’m being honest.)

What’s funny is that as I was in the waiting area before my appointment, my first masseuse came out to greet his next appointment. He looked at me, pointed and said, “You look very familiar.” I couldn't help but think to myself, “Maybe if I were lying face-down on a massage table with half of my butt exposed, you’d recognize me.”

I just smiled.

I see you!

Whoever you are who found my blog by googling "Oklahoma married but looking," SHAME. ON. YOU! Your search may have led you here, but I have to tell you I do not approve. May I suggest some marriage counseling?

And while I'm mentioning stats here, there's something I've wondered about for a while. Who are you, Cartersv!lle, Georg!a? You've been coming back for months. I can't help but wonder if it's because you've read about yourself on here a time or two ... Just curious!

Not ashamed to admit I'm counting!

Today marks three months since K left. I'm glad it's gone so quickly so far! I hope this pace continues (unless it picks up even more!).

One extra-cool landmark about today is that now, the countdown to the end of the deployment is less than a year. Somehow, for me it sounds so much better to know that we have 11 months and 20-some-odd days to go rather than an entire year. (Isn't it funny how the mind works?)

Screw you too, technology!

Last night, I wanted to blog about my third massage, which I had on Saturday. I wanted to tell you about K's roommate's fiance's (still with me?) visit to Dallas. I also wanted to email K. But technology had other plans.

For some reason -- most likely due to the insane winds we had last night -- my wireless Internet wasn't working.

I wound up playing with my phone instead. The last iPho.ne update allows users to add to their home screens shortcuts to their favorite websites. I decided to take advantage of that ability. I was loving my phone when I went to bed.

At 12:35, I was awakened by my phone ringing. The only person who would call me so late is K. I immediately grabbed my phone to answer it. Only it wouldn't work.

The iPho.ne is entirely touch-screen, so you have to slide your finger across the bottom of the screen to answer a call. I kept sliding my finger across the screen over and over, but it wasn't even registering on the phone that I had touched the screen. The phone continued ringing in my hand as I tried and tried to answer it, but with no luck. When my phone stopped ringing, the screen was still frozen. I wanted to cry. I almost did.

I kept trying to get my phone to work. I finally was able to turn my phone off and back on. By then, K had left a voice message. I was able to type him a quick email on my phone, even though my phone managed to freeze up again when I was almost finished. I was able to send it just before my phone froze again.

I kept trying to get back to my home screen so I could remove the icons I'd added, since that was the only thing I could think of that would have caused my phone to randomly start messing up. Since my phone serves as my alarm clock, when I started to realize it wasn't going to unfreeze, I grabbed a travel alarm and set it for 7:20. I eventually fell asleep after trying for at least 30 minutes to get my phone to cooperate.

I woke up this morning with the feeling something wasn't quite right. I immediately sat up in bed and looked at the clock. "Sh#@!"

My phone had died since the screen had been frozen until the battery was drained. And my travel alarm had completely failed me for who knows what reason.

It was 8:30. I had a 9:00 meeting. I had hoped to leave by 8:15 so I could get to work and have time to prepare for the meeting. Oops.

I got dressed and ready in about 15 minutes, and I was actually surprised that my car managed to start and run fine since every other machine I had touched in the previous 12 hours had seemed to fail me. I called a co-worker to have her get me the number of the person leading my work meeting so I could let her know I'd be late. Go figure, though, my phone froze again. I was able to get it working long enough to send the leader of the meeting an email to tell her I'd be late.

Somehow, I was only 10 minutes late for the meeting -- and still decently prepared. After the meeting, a few of my co-workers who have iPho.nes told me the magical button combo that reboots your phone. Good to know.

As soon as I got back to my desk, where I'd left my phone to charge, I removed the new shortcuts from my home screen. Thankfully, all seems to be well with my phone again. Now here's hoping K calls me again tonight. If my phone decides to screw up again, I'm taking it out of its little protective cover and throwing it off my balcony!

Word of this post: silly

I woke up early Saturday morning so I could go to a small bridal boutique that had been recommended to me by several people. From what these friends had told me, it sounded like a really great place to go for a variety of nice dresses. I was interested to see the selection a boutique would offer.

I had scheduled an appointment for 9:30 a.m., which is when the store opened. A few other girls were there waiting for the store to open when I arrived. I was the only one by myself. When we walked into the store, a saleswoman asked me my name. She identified herself as the person assigned to help me. "I have one more appointment coming in, too," she said.

Just then, a girl walked in the door and looked right at the woman who was to help me. She was the other appointment. She told the saleswoman that she wanted to try on her favorite dresses from the last time she was in the shop. The saleswoman said she'd go get the girl's card, and then she looked at me. "Do you want to try on straight dresses or full dresses?"

"Yes," I answered. "Both."

The saleswoman pointed toward a small rack loaded with dresses. "Those are the straight dresses, and the full ones are back there." She walked to the back of the store.

I started looking through the straight dresses. They were crammed onto a fairly small rack, so I had to push the heavy dresses aside one at a time to try to get a good look at them. They seemed to be organized by designer, which meant nothing to me. I didn't know which ones came with sleeve options or what my color choices were. My arms were still a bit sore from my last workout, and as I struggled to move dress after dress aside so I could look at the selection, I realized I didn't even feel like trying on dresses.

I felt silly to be looking for a wedding dress when I'm already married.

K and I knew it would work out this way -- having two weddings -- and I was OK with it originally. We had paid for half our Dallas reception before we ever realized we'd have to have the Florida wedding because K was deploying. We told everyone we talked to about the Florida ceremony that we'd have our "real" wedding once K got back from Iraq. That was always the plan. It's why we chose to make the Florida ceremony so simple.

The thing is, though, that weekend was perfect. I feel like we're just asking for trouble if we think we can have a second wedding go so smoothly and wonderfully. And it feels silly to be having a wedding again. Maybe if our first one had been smaller -- like if it was just the two of us at a justice of the peace or something -- it wouldn't feel so weird to be planning another. (But I still wouldn't want to change a thing about the Florida wedding.)

The saleswoman came back after I'd been looking at the dresses for a couple minutes. "Have you found anything?" she asked me.

"No, I don't really know what I'm looking for," I half-lied. The thing was, I realized I was looking for the two dresses I've already found. Plus, I'm afraid I've seen one too many episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, so I was expecting a similar experience: I wanted to walk into the store and have a salesperson devoted to helping me for a short time. I wanted the person to ask me what my budget was for the dress and to ask what style(s) I was looking for. I wanted the salesperson to help me.

The woman motioned me over to the couture dresses, saying I could start out there if I'd like.
"Is this kind of a help-yourself-type thing?" I asked. The woman nodded. "OK, because I have no idea what I'm doing here," I said, which wasn't a lie. I didn't want to waste my time looking at dresses that were way over my budget. It was the saleswoman's job to know her inventory and to be able to point me in the right direction.

I had heard her tell someone else in the store that the appointments each lasted an hour and a half. If the saleswoman wasn't helping me find a dress, what was she supposed to do in all that time? And if she wasn't going to help me find a dress, why did I even schedule an appointment?

The saleswoman chose to ignore my obvious desire for help, and she turned without saying a word and headed to the back of the store again. I returned to the straight dresses, but I was frustrated. I'd gotten more help at Dav!d's Bridal! If I was going to be spending hundreds of dollars on a dress, I wanted help, and I wasn't going to get it at this boutique.

There was also the fact that all the dresses were the exact same size, which was a few sizes too big for me. If I even found a dress I liked, they'd have to clip the back to the point the dress would just look odd. I'd have to use my imagination, and for a dress that important, I didn't want to be blindly ordering and having to guess what the dress would actually look like in the correct size.

So I left the store. As I walked past the front counter, I considered telling the woman standing behind it that I was abandoning my appointment. Since no one seemed to care about helping me, though, I figured they wouldn't care about my leaving either, so I didn't say a word. The woman didn't look up as I walked past her.

My whole experience in the store was probably 10 to 15 minutes. Still, I could have slept in! I could've skipped the drive to the store, which is in a different part of Dallas than where I live. I could have done so many different things with the beginning of my weekend.

As I drove back home, I fought off tears. I was just frustrated about the whole situation. I would be fine with leaving things with the Florida wedding. I can't get into planning a wedding again, and I don't want to have to try to explain to people why I'm planning a wedding if I'm already married.

Forty-two people went to Florida for our wedding. All 42 traveled a good distance by plane or car, and all 42 stayed in the hotel. All of those people spent a lot of money to spend that weekend with us. I can't ask them to do that again, much less ask another 100 to 150 people to join us this time to watch us reenact something that already happened.

It feels silly scheduling appointments under my married name. I can't help but wonder if the people I'm scheduling with think to themselves, "Wow. Good thing she's getting rid of that impossible last name!" (Little do they know ...)

I don't want to put my friends through listening to me talk about planning a wedding again, and I don't even want to make you all read about it a second time. Not that it's a bad thing to hear or read about, but I just can't help but think to myself that it's silly to be doing it over again.

Regardless, though, we're having the Dallas wedding. Which means I have to plan it. Luckily, since it's still just under 15 months away, I have some more time to get over my reluctance about the planning.

At least through all my hesitation about wedding No. 2, this weekend did give me one certainty: I have absolutely no second thoughts about writing off that stupid bridal boutique for good!

Why I hate politics

I generally don't get into politics. I should, I know -- especially being a military wife -- but it's just so hard to get into it. I get very quickly annoyed at politicians who constantly seem to be saying not what they really think, but what they think everyone else wants to hear. I also get frustrated by how polarized and blinded so many people get when it comes to red vs. blue, elephants vs. donkeys, Republicans vs. Democrats, etc., etc.

But when it comes time for the presidential election, I absolutely have to do my part. I have to vote. And to do it right, I have to educate myself on the candidates. Which means I spend some time watching debates (in addition to other means of learning more about the candidates). I watched the Democratic debate last night.

At work this morning, I asked a co-worker if she had watched the debates. She shook her head. We started talking about the Democratic candidates and about politics in general. I told her that I'm a registered Democrat because it's what my parents were. I told her that I don't know the difference between Republicans and Democrats and that frankly, I don't care. I want to learn about all the presidential candidates in ANY party and vote for the best person for the job.

As we were talking, another co-worker of mine who is actually younger than me came up. "Did you watch the debates last night?" I asked her.

"No. I don't care about Democrats. Republicans, WHOO!"

And THAT is what disgusts me about politics.

Update on K

Not long after I posted my blog yesterday, I got an IM from K. (Sorry to keep you waiting, but it's been busy since then!) He's doing fine.

He was on base and actually outside when the "roc.ket barr.age" started. He said when he heard the blast, he could immediately tell by the sound of it that it was not a controlled exp.losion. He dropped to the ground, and sure enough, the alarms started sounding soon after. He stayed on the ground and waited a couple minutes until he was sure things were clear. He was heading to check on others when 10 more rou.nds were fired, three of which were duds. He said the whole thing lasted about an hour and a half. He said (obviously) it was crazy and very loud.

The damage done to their area was pretty minimal, which really sounds like a miracle. Most of the soldiers were uninjured. One sold!er got a concussion, and a couple of others got some minor cuts and scrapes. One civ!lian was killed because he ran instead of dropping to the ground. (K said when the roc.kets explode, they explode up, so if you're on the ground you're much safer.) Even the damage to their building was surprisingly minor.

Needless to say, I'm very thankful that God was watching out for them that day!

"Good morning. Your husband was targeted by roc.kets yesterday."

When I got to work this morning, I checked my email, like I always do. Today I had an email from K's colonel's wife, which is not at all uncommon. She sends us emails pretty regulary letting us know what's going on around post or even giving us updates about things like the post office adding a larger priority mail flat-rate box (a bigger option for care packages!).

When I opened her email, I was surprised at how it began: "Yesterday was a busy day and a blessing that everyone is OK."

I had no idea what she was talking about. She had attached an email from her husband, giving us all more information. It began, "As you have all probably heard by now ..."

The email went on to describe something that happened yesterday at K's base. The phrase "sustained rocket barrage" was used. My eyes skimmed over the part where the colonel said no one from K's unit was seriously injured. Instead, they went straight to this: "Due to the proximity of the impacting rounds, some soldiers received concussions."

Usually I wouldn't be concerned, since I would get a phone call or even a knock on my door in the event that K was injured, depending on the severity. Neither of those had happened.

But then again, I also always get a call anytime anyone from K's entire division is injured. The division consists of thousands of soldiers, some of whom aren't even stationed in the same state (or part of the country!) as K. In his email, the colonel said very specifically that it was K's battalion that was impacted. That's WAY more specific to K than his division (we're talking a few hundred, not thousands). And no one called me.

The military has groups set up for things like this, in addition to providing a solid support group for families while the soldiers are gone. In the Army, these groups (F.RG -- fam!ly read!ness group) are broken down by each battery (a battery is usually somewhere around 100 people). Usually the battery commander's wife (me) leads the F.RG, but since I never lived less than five hours from post, am a new military wife and have never even been to an F.RG meeting, someone else is leading ours.

I called my assigned contact person from my F.RG to find out why I hadn't gotten a call. She's always been really good about keeping me up to date, so I wasn't surprised when she explained a change in situation to me.

I'm working on getting it all straightened out so this never happens again. It is not a good thing to find out about something like that in an email.

I'm a little stressed, but I'm not really upset or worried. I'm sure if K had been one of the ones who was more seriously affected, they would have made sure to call me, even with the communication breakdown.

But it'll still be a huge relief next time I talk to K.

I don't get it either, and I was there!

Sorry to keep you all waiting on my post about this weekend. When I got home Sunday, I was exhausted and didn't want to do anything but unpack and sleep. I started writing the post last night, but honestly, I'm kind of confused about the events of Saturday night. I was there, and I remember everything, but really, none of it makes sense.

Friday was great: I rushed to Norman after work and made it in just enough time to throw on my hot red dress, touch up my makeup and head to dinner. Our original dinner choice had an hour wait, so we headed next door to the same place we ate at last year for the girls' birthday. It wound up being just the four of us old roomies, which was awesome. We had a great dinner, caught up and took a few pictures before heading to a couple bars on Campus Corner.















We had a great time there. Rachel and I managed to see a few guys we went to high school with, and I met several of the guy friends of hers I've heard about for so long but hadn't met. It was a good, silly night, but nothing crazy.















The next day, we slept in a bit and then started getting ready to go out for lunch. Most of my close girl friends are very low maintenance, so I usually am the last one to be ready. Not with these girls. I waited for over an hour before they were completely dressed and ready to head to lunch (and I think I'm the only one who showered, since the bars from the night before were smoke-free and I was the only one who hadn't showered before going out Friday night, since I had so little time)!

Lunch was nice and calm, until about halfway through, when I looked up and saw a familiar face -- S@m Br@dford, OU's awesome quarterback who will totally win the Heisman before he graduates -- entering the restaurant. I was really excited the rest of our meal, and the girls laughed at me for being such a dork. Of course I had to get a picture with him!



















After lunch, we had decided we were going to go ahead and get ready for dinner and then head to the movies to see Jumper. When we got back to Rachel's apartment, though, the cold, rainy weather made us feel more like staying in. We watched Hairspray at her place before having to stop before the movie was over so we could get ready to go to OKC for the night. The other three girls started getting ready 30 minutes before I did, yet I still managed (once again) to find myself dressed and ready to go about 30 minutes before them.

The Asian bistro we went to for dinner was a really neat place. It was very hip, and the food was really good. I ordered the sweet & sour chicken, which would have been completely awesome if it wasn't drowned in sauce. (I'm not a huge fan of sweet & sour sauce to begin with, but even Rachel, who says she loves sauce of any kind, thought it was overpowering.) The two birthday girls shared their green tea ice cream with us. It was yummy!















After dinner, L.indsay had to leave us to head to another friend's birthday celebration, but the rest of us headed to the trashy dance club I was dreading. A friend of Rachel & Jess!ca's had told us at dinner that she'd drive us that night, so Rachel, Jess!ca & I headed to the bar for drinks as soon as we got to the club. I knew I needed to get started on the liquid courage necessary for me to get through the night at that club and also decrease my judgment enough to make myself think I look good when I dance.

Our DD had a few friends at the club who were visiting from Tulsa, and I started talking to a really awesome married couple in the group. I'd been talking to them for a while when the other girls (Rachel, Jess!ca & our DD) came up to let me know we were leaving to go to some hot new bar they'd been hearing about. Someone had put us on the list there, so we were going to check it out, but we'd come back to the trashy club after.


And this is where the night started to go downhill
We walked the block and a half to the new "it" bar, which wound up absolutely sucking.

The music was bad, the place was so crowded you could hardly move, and the bartenders sucked. In fact, the bartender had skipped over Jess!ca and me and helped these other two people -- a girl Rachel called my attention to, who I realized was a sleazy girl we went to school with who was a few years younger than us, and some greasy older guy she was with.

Jess!ca got the bartender's attention, and when she looked up at me, I gave her our drink order. She was just starting to make the second line-jumper's drinks at that point, so I added after telling the order, "Just after you're finished with those drinks. I think those other people jumped ahead of us."

The bartender looked up at me. "That girl had been waiting in line for several minutes."

"Oh, no, I wasn't talking about her. The guy."

The bartender looked at me again. She said in a snotty voice: "He's paying for her drinks. Don't tell me how to do my job." I was frozen in shock, since I had been polite and hadn't intended to step on any toes, and I certainly hadn't told her how to do her job. I could understand her frustration about being busy, but I hadn't said, "You helped them first." I had said, "They jumped ahead of us." I wasn't accusing her of anything.

Since I wasn't positive the two people had jumped ahead of us (maybe I just hadn't seen them?), I didn't say anything else. After I paid for our drinks, though, I asked Rachel if the two had actually cut. Rachel told me she watched them walk up to the bar after Jess!ca and I had been standing there a couple minutes. The bartender was a liar!

Since nothing about the bar seemed to be good (a few others with us had their own list of complaints), I was ready to leave. Jess!ca and I decided together that we would walk back to the trashy club. Only when I talked to another couple there with us who was wanting to go back as well, Jess!ca decided to stay, since someone had come up to her and was buying her drinks.

I headed back to the first club with the couple, and I hung out with them and the Tulsa people. By the time the club was closing, Rachel and the group who'd gone to the crappy bar had returned, so we headed outside to get to the car.


When the night gets confusing
It was raining and cold out, so Jess!ca and some random guy headed toward her car so the rest of us could stay dry. Rachel and I stood under an awning talking to two guy friends of hers. When Jess!ca and Random Guy came back, we all realized that none of us could drive, and our DD seemed to have left with her boyfriend.

Luckily, Rachel's guy friends were OK to drive us. We climbed in Jess!ca's car, where we all came up with a plan. The guys would drive us to their house, which was on our way home to begin with, and we'd sober up there. I'd drink a ton of water and drive us back to Norman safely (and soberly).

We got to the guys' house, and all of us went inside except for Jess!ca and Random Guy. After 20 minutes or so, she was at the door asking why we'd left her in the car. Rachel explained she thought Jess!ca had wanted some alone time with Random Guy or something. They knew very well how to get out of her car and come inside the house with the rest of us. Jess!ca started going on and on about how she didn't trust the guys whose house we were at, and she didn't want us in there any longer. Rachel and I tried explaining that these were friends of Rachel's, and she'd known them for years. Jess!ca was still uncomfortable and insisted that she drive us home, so we left the house.

As we headed the less than 20 miles back to Norman, Jess!ca and Rachel were each still trying to figure out where there was a miscommunication. Jess!ca was trying to explain to Rachel why she didn't trust the two guys we were with, and Rachel was trying to figure out why Jess!ca was upset about a plan she had originally agreed upon. Soon, they were yelling at each other in frustration.

Random Boy was still in the car, and instead of being smart and quiet, he spoke up from time to time, and he wasn't helping the situation.

I realized quickly that he had a bad habit of calling girls "honey," "dear" or other such obnoxious pet names. I tried telling him that girls don't typically appreciate that, and I asked him to stop. I asked him three times. He started calling me "Mizz" instead. I reminded him of my first name many times.

Random Boy still insisted on speaking up, even though Rachel and Jess!ca were really yelling by that time. When Random Boy called me a pet name again, I screamed at him. I yelled at him and cussed at him, and I told him he wasn't helping the situation and needed to hush. Except I told him really, really loudly.

And he hushed.

For a while.

Then, the rest of the night, he kept saying stupid things about how one of us was going to stab him, which came completely out of nowhere.

So there the four of us were -- Jess!ca, Rachel, me and Random Guy -- heading back to Norman. It became clear that Jess!ca had just completely forgotten a portion of the night, which happened to be when we had all decided on our plan to sober up at the guys' house. She had also completely forgotten that the guys were friends of Rachel's. After we finally got all that cleared up and the argument was over, we all three became very annoyed with Random Guy, who was still whining about how one of us harmless, tiny girls was going to stab him.

I tried carrying on a conversation with Random Guy in the hopes he would wake up and realize that we were all absolutely harmless and really nice girls. I even apologized for screaming at him, despite the fact it was completely warranted because he hadn't listened to my numerous polite requests to stop using demeaning pet names with strangers. He was stupid, though, and didn't get any better.

Honestly, the events of Saturday night probably make as much sense to you as they do to me. I didn't realize how confused I was about the night until I tried explaining it to L!ndsay the next day on my way back to Dallas.

I know there's more to the story than I initially realized, but I still don't understand why Jess!ca was so upset. Random Guy probably doesn't sound like a jerk from what I said above, but he absolutely was. Plus, the guy is 26 years old and still lives with his rich mommy and daddy. In Oklahoma (The cost of living is very low in OK. Pretty sure he can afford to move out by now. Especially the way he was throwing around money).

Jess!ca, Rachel and I went to lunch together on Sunday, and we talked more about the previous night. Things were better between all of us, and we had to laugh at the chain of events of the night and the fact that some wimpy guy was afraid of us and somehow convinced we were going to stab him.

Friday night and Saturday afternoon were so great that it was sad to leave with such a confusing, random night like Saturday night.

I was actually happy to make it back home to Dallas, where I could catch up on the sleep I didn't get Saturday night.

I think it's going to be a little while before I head back to Norman!

Because it's not my birthday

I'm heading to OK this weekend to help two of my roomies from my senior year celebrate birthdays. One of the girls' is today; the other's is Sunday. We're supposed to go out for dinner tonihgt and then head to a bar that I love in Norman afterward. I'm excited.

The birthday girl wants to feel pretty, so she's going all out. She was supposed to get her hair done this morning, and she's getting her makeup done this afternoon. She's wearing a dress out. To a sports bar in a college town.

The other birthday girl is getting a new haircut today too. She's also wearing a dress out tonight.

And so is the 4th roomie. Which means I will wear a dress as well so I don't screw up cute pictures by being the only one not in a cute dress. Even thought it's about 30 degrees in OK today. And I'm recovering from the flu.

Tonight should be fun, though. Cold, but fun.

It's tomorrow night I'm definitely not looking forward to. We're going to eat sushi for dinner (hate it) and head to a dance club (yuck) after -- a trashy hip-hop dance club!

Although I've managed to list mostly negatives here, I think it'll be a good weekend, all in all. The four of us old roomies always have a blast when we get together. I just have to get my complaints out before I get to OK so I can put on a happy face even if I can't breathe through my nose.

Things that are definitely awesome about this weekend, no matter what:

1. I am getting off work early to make it to OK in time for dinner. In fact, I'm leaving work in 7 minutes!
2. I am leaving Piper here to be taken care of in Dallas. She's adorable, but I'm looking forward to a break since I'm the little pup 24/7.
3. Guaranteed fun with the girls.
4. I'm going to Oklahoma!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'll share, but I don't recommend

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I realized that I have recently managed to accidentally stumble upon not one, but two successful methods of ridding myself of the little pooch I've always seemed to have in my lower abdomen. I know there are many, many women in this world who have struggled with that same area, so I feel that it's only fair that I share with you these two miraculous methods.

However, before I do so, I absolutely must tell you that I cannot in any way condone either of these methods.

Both were very unpleasant for me. Both resulted in difficulty breathing, a runny nose, fatigue and a feeling of frustration. Both eventually left me feeling sweaty and in definite need of a shower. Both required an increase in consumption of fluids for survival.

And the absolute worst part of both was the ache I felt in almost every. single. muscle in my body.

As promised, I'll share these two methods with you. But before you go trying either of them, don't say I didn't warn you:

1) Running outdoors
2) The flu

It's going around

After my awesome workout last night, I managed to stay up later than I'd hoped. I felt fine when I went to bed just after midnight. When I woke up this morning, though, my throat felt scratchy and I felt dizzy.

I went in to work for a bit hoping it would go away. The dizziness got a little better, but my throat still felt scratchy. I went around to let my co-workers know I'd be heading home to work from there. Every one of them said to me, "I hope you don't have the flu. It's going around right now."

I went to my doctor late this morning, where a nurse administered a flu test by jabbing a giant, thin swab as far up each nostril as she could. It made my eyes water, and I almost hoped I had the flu so I didn't go through that for nothing.

The doctor came in to see me and started her questions. One of them: "Do your muscles ache?"

"Well, that's a tough question," I said. "Since I work out quite a bit, it's normal for my muscles to feel achy."

"Well do they feel more achy than usual?"

I laughed. "Yes, but I got in a harder workout than usual yesterday."

Since the flu test seemed to be taking some time to give us an answer, my doctor gave me a strep test as well, which was another fun one that involved jamming another giant swab as far down my throat as she could. That test came up negative.

Finally, my flu test revealed ever so lightly that I had tested positive for the flu. My doctor decided it was because it was so early into the illness that the test didn't come out more quickly and clearly. So now I'm on medication and trying to sleep as much as possible, doctor's orders. I'm hoping I'm able to beat this since I went to the doctor for it so early. And because after two meals, soup is already getting old.

Successes!

I don't know what my deal has been with this whole blogging thing lately. Things just haven't seemed exciting, I guess. Big things have happened, though. Some high points:

• My review was last week at work. It went well. My raise was good. I had let myself get my hopes up about the whole promotion thing until early last week, when I learned in a conversation with my boss that there are absolutely no positions open in what I'm wanting to do next. If such a position does open up, she'll let me know so I can apply for it. In the meantime, I'll be helping out a few different groups in that area, so I'll just be building more and more valuable experience for when that job does come open.
• My brother got an awesome promotion. (He works for NA.SCAR, remember?) He'll get to travel with the team he works for to pretty much all the races now. He actually kind of got two promotions in one, and the cool thing is that both will allow him to work on pit crews as well, which he really enjoys and wants to do more of. I'm so proud of him and excited for him!
• K and I had success with the webcams Saturday! The picture was a bit delayed and would freeze for a few moments sometimes, but we were both able to see and hear each other much better than in our previous attempts. Thank you, Y@hoo messenger!

Last Thursday morning, I sent K the most awesome care package ever. It was the second part of his Valentine's Day care package. I sent the first part out last week, and it included some homemade peanut butter cookies (a new recipe!) and a photo calendar, which I always get K for Valentine's Day. I also got him P!rates of the Caribbean 3, since he would have bought it if he were here (yes, I know it's been out several weeks, but I kept putting off buying it because I thought P!rates 2 was so disappointing).

For the package last week, I made him a photo greeting card. I wrote my own little message to go inside, and I got the talking card so I was able to record an extra message on that. I know he's going to love the card, so I'm excited for him to get it. I'm pretty proud of it. It turned out great.

I sent him lots of Reese's, since they're his favorite, and I bought him some new pillow cases, washed them and sprayed them with his favorite scent that I wear. I also burned him a CD with a lot of the current popular music that I don't think he heard before he left, in addition to a couple songs that weren't so new but I thought he might like and not be familiar with. I wrote him a nice, long letter about why I chose each song on the CD, since I'd just written him a huge email telling him everything I'd have said in the letter. I put red tissue paper and Valentine's patterned tissue paper in the box to add the extra bit of care. I'm really excited for him to get the package!

When I spoke to K today on the webcam, he showed me the tupperware container I'd sent the entire batch of peanut butter cookies in. There were only three left, and he said he'd only had them for a day. Guess I'll be making more of those!

The weather was gorgeous this weekend! Yesterday, I was a complete bum, although I did get some cleaning done around my apartment. Today, I went to church, ran a couple errands and then took Piper for a 2-mile walk at a park not far from my apartment. She did so well!

She used to be kind of racist. She always managed to bark at blacks and Mexicans. I have no idea why, but thank goodness, she got over that several months ago. She's always barked at kids, though. Even if they're 11 or 12, she's scared of them. I don't know what the deal is. She also doesn't like it when people she doesn't know run or ride scooters or bikes near her.

I didn't know what to expect taking her to such a busy park that I knew would be filled with plenty of families, young children, other dogs, joggers, and runners, and people on skates, bikes and scooters. I tried to be optimistic, but I prepared myself for the possibility that I'd have to leave soon after arriving if Piper didn't seem to take to the whole thing well.

She pleasantly surprised me! We walked all around the park. We passed running children, crying babies, skating kids and even kids who stopped to pet her. She did great through all of it. There was one time she started giving low barks to a little girl who was walking with her two parents. I immediately got in Piper's space, put my hand over her muzzle and told her to hush. And she did. I'm thinking now that the weather is getting better, I'll take her there more often so she'll get more exposure to the world around her and not be so reactive to people she doesn't know.

Tonight, I went to the gym. We're doing this tough circuit that is exhausting. We did chest and back, and I seriously feel like my arms are going to fall off. It was a good workout, though, and a good way to end the weekend.

In an effort to make it to bed before midnight, I'll close with this oh-so-funny comment from K during a webcam attempt this afternoon. For some reason, the microphone on my webcam wasn't working. K and I were trying to figure out what the problem was. I typed on the messenger, "You can see me, but you can't hear me." His response: "I know. It's the perfect marriage."

What not to say

It seems to me that the majority of Americans either know someone who has deployed or are close to someone who has had a loved one deployed -- and if not, then surely they know someone who served in the military at one time.

Despite that, I guess I could see how people might not know what to say when they find out they're speaking to someone who has a loved one deployed. What I don't understand, though, is how with some people, common sense manages to completely disappear when they find themselves in that situation.

The first time I witnessed such a case, I was offended. The guy seemed kind of weird to begin with, though, so I didn't think much of it, but I did share it with K, who seconded my opinion that the guy was a dumb@ss. After the third such conversation, though, I decided maybe it threw people off to find out something like that.


Example 1: Just after the wedding
I had flown to PA with K to see his family before he deployed. I had to get back to work, so I left earlier than K. My flight had gotten canceled, so several of us were bussed to one of the larger airports to catch a flight there instead. As a result of the canceled flight, we were all flagged to go through additional security. One of my original fellow passengers went through the extra security screening at the same time as me. He struck up a conversation about where I'd been, so I told him I was visiting my husband's family with him before he deployed.

"So you're on all his benefits and stuff, right?" the man asked me.

"Yeah."

"That's good, so if -- you know, God forbid -- something happens to him, you'll be taken care of."

[Because if something happened to K, my biggest concern would be whether or not I get his benefits. And I'm pretty sure I'm making it just fine with my college degree and my own job. I didn't marry him so I'd be "taken care of."]

Even though I thought his comment was insensitive and a little insulting, I just brushed it off.


Example 2: Two weeks before K deployed
K and I had just finished lunch and stopped by a dog store to find a cute toy for Piper. When I got to the register to check out, the cashier asked me for my name for their store rewards program. I gave her my name. She asked for my email address, which is my first name and maiden name.

"You mean you haven't changed your email address?" K asked me, pretending to be upset.

"No, and I'm not going to! It's too much trouble!"

The cashier said, "Try marrying someone in the military. That's a whole other set of fun name changes."

"I did! He's in the Army!"

The woman then asked K the standard military intro questions, including asking if he'd deployed before. K told her he'd spent a year in Korea, in addition to several months in Iraq and Afghanistan, and that he was leaving for Iraq for 15 months in just two weeks. The cashier told us her husband was in Korea on a year term.

"Be glad you're here," she said. "You're lucky to not be deployed."

"For a whole two weeks!" I said, "He's going to Iraq for the next 15 months!" I repeated.

"Well, I hope you make it back," she said.

!!!

K and I were too in shock at her remark to be able to respond. Obviously being away from your significant other is hard no matter what -- especially for such a long amount of time. But Korea? That's not a combat zone. K enjoyed his time in Korea and has said he wouldn't mind going back on vacation. Spouses can visit their soldiers who are stationed in Korea.

As we walked out the door, I said incredulously as if I was still talking to the girl (but not loud enough for her to hear me), "Thanks! I hope you don't get hit by a bus on your way home."

[Seriously? As a military wife, she should have known better than to say that.]


Example 3: The week after K left
I got caught in the hallway talking to one of our office maintenance guys, who said he hadn't seen me in a while. "Where were you? Did you go on vacation?" he asked me.

"No," I said, "my husband just left for Iraq, so I was helping him get ready to leave."

"Oh, really?" he said. "Man, that's hard ... because, you know, you might never see him again."

[Really? This was the conversation that made me realize sometimes people just don't know what to say, so they blurt out the first thing that pops into their brains.]


Example 4: My first massage
I didn't include this in my post about my first massage experience, but when the masseuse found out it was my first massage, he asked what had made me decide to get one.

"My husband got me a gift certificate for it," I answered.

"What did he do wrong?" the masseuse joked.

"Oh, nothing," I said, and I explained how he'd gotten it since he was deploying, telling me that if he wasn't here to take care of me, he wanted to make sure I would still be taken care of.

"Well I hope he makes it back in one piece," said the masseuse.

[Um, thanks? Me too?]


Example 5: Tonight
As I was leaving work, I got stopped in the hall by a man who wanted to pet Piper. We talked for a few minutes, and somehow the fact that K is in Iraq came up.

The man looked at me like I told him someone had just died. "You're husband's in the military?"

I nodded.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

I cocked my head and was ready to say K was in the military by choice when some other guy who I'd never seen before walked into our conversation. He had a "been-there-done-that" tone in his voice as he asked, "Your husband's in the military?"

"Yes."

"Army?"

"Yes."

The man gave a knowing nod. "Yeah, I did my time with ol' Uncle Sugars." (Yes, he actually said "Uncle Sugars.") The way he said it told me that he had stayed in only long enough to fulfill the terms of whatever obligation he'd entered under.

"He's going to be career. He likes it. It suits him well," I said, trying to explain that he is serving because it's his job -- a job he chose. Only "Uncle Sugars" guy had walked off, and the first guy I'd been talking to was still kind of looking at me funny.

The first guy's reaction had confused me. I think what he had intended to say was that he was sorry to hear that K is deployed right now, since it's not an easy thing to go through. I wanted to climb up on my soap box and say to him: "I am not sorry my husband is in the military. I am proud. He is a great leader, and it makes me feel good to know that people like him are over there so we can be safe here. Don't be sorry that he's in the Army. It's his choice. Be grateful for his service."

Instead, I gave him a cheerful "Have a good night!" and walked away.


I'm sure in all these cases, these people meant to say something other than what came out. I think most people are pretty supportive of the military and military families. I just wanted to share these because, honestly, I have realized I really just have to laugh at them. Plus, maybe sharing these stories will make someone who stumbles upon this post think twice about what they blurt out the next time they find themselves in a conversation with the proud spouse of a soldier.

Confessions about the gym

Before K, in every long-term relationship I was in, I'd catch myself from time to time looking at a guy friend or a guy I'd see around often and thinking, "I wonder what it would be like to date him."

Since I met K, though, thoughts like that have not been a problem. I can see attractive guys and know they would be someone I would have been interested in had I not met K, but that's as far as the thoughts go. I can look at a guy, think he's attractive (maybe even drool a little, in a couple cases of extreme gorgeousness and, once, even an Australian accent) and wonder if I have a single friend who I could hook him up with. And that's the end of it.

It's been over two months since I last saw K, and I'm not even to the halfway point of getting to see him again. I think the knowledge that there's still sooooooo much left to go makes things that much harder. It's not easy to be away from your husband that long.

As I did when he was in Afghanistan, I've been filling a lot of my time with going to the gym. I've been working out there for over two years. In all the time I've spent at the gym, I've noticed that there are some pretty attractive men who work out there. I never checked them out, though -- I would just glance at them, think, "He's cute," and be on with my workout.

Until lately.

It all started when Jeremy and I were on the ellipticals one night. There was a guy working out on a machine near us. I'd seen him at the gym many, many times and thought he was cute, but I never gave him a second thought. I pointed out to Jeremy how this guy looked kind of like the new Ja.mes Bond in Cas!no Royale. I had noted the likeness to myself many times, but saying it aloud changed things for some reason.

The rest of that workout, I kept glancing at this guy from the corner of my eye. When I left the gym, I thought about him the rest of the day. I couldn't believe it: I had a crush.

I was relieved when I realized the next day that the crush had subsided. I decided it must've been some 24-hour thing. Whatever made it go away, I was glad it was gone. In the month or so since then, though, I've had another realization: I have started checking out guys at my gym (besides Ja.mes Bond guy). *hanging head in shame*

I would never, ever in a million years do anything to hurt K, especially cheat on him. I would absolutely not be able to live with myself if I ever did something that stupid. (Just so you know, I completely believe that emotional affairs outside your relationship are a form of cheating on your significant other.)

But I know this "checking out"/crush thing will never go beyond my junior high gazes. I still felt the need to get it off my chest, so I called ER and made my confession. Once it was all out there, I gave a heavy sigh.

"Do you feel better now?" she asked me.

"No!" I admitted. "I thought I would, but I don't."

"It's perfectly fine," she said to me. "Besides, you're deprived."

"I am deprived."

The whole situation reminds me of a quote my cousin once said when we were teenagers: "Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't have a look at the menu."