An open letter

Dear friends, family members and co-workers:

I really appreciate your attempts to recognize the holiday season. The pies, bourbon balls and orange rum balls back home were really good. Just like the donuts at work yesterday and the chocolates today. It really is nice to walk into the kitchen at the office and see goodies, but why don't we try to spread this out?

See, all these extra goodies I normally wouldn't be consuming in such excess amounts happen to be coming at a time I'm finding myself very busy in the evenings, getting home late and having no time to go to the gym. As a result, all the work I'd done to firm up my tummy is disappearing -- quite quickly. While I appreciate your efforts to prevent my pants from being a little loose on me like they have been in the past few weeks, I was actually enjoying that.

So if you all could refrain from enticing me with such wonderful, chocolatey, creamy, decadent goodies, I'd really appreciate it. And so would my getting-tighter-every-day pants.

Sincerely,
Me

P.S. While we're on this open-letter thing, a request for all retail stores: My bank account hasn't had time to recover from Christmas shopping, but I'm finding your amazing sales hard to resist. I love my new digital camera and Chi straightener, and I'm really looking forward to taking advantage of Victoria's Secret's semi-annual sale, but seriously? This is getting out of hand. For taking away from time I'd spend at the gym, you're just as guilty as all the fattening treats.