Serious bling

The reason K and I headed back to Dallas so quickly yesterday is because we needed to go shopping for our wedding bands. With K's schedule being pretty packed until the Florida wedding, this weekend was the best time to go.

We went to the store where K got my ring and looked at their wedding bands. K found a ring pretty quickly that he liked, and it was less than $150 (woohoo, titanium!). It's really nice, and very him. And it's sitting in his apartment now in Louisiana.

(End the easy part.)

With K's search complete, we headed over to the section devoted to the designer of my engagement ring.

The jeweler who was helping us was probably in his late 50s or 60s, and he was clearly from the old-school generation of thought where the man shows his love by providing for his family, which meant he was a different kind of salesman than we were used to.

He took a look at my ring and found the band that matched it. It was gorgeous.

He handed the band to me, and I slid it onto my finger. I was surprised by how much I didn't love it when it was next to my ring. When you mixed all the diamonds of the wedding band along with the perfect, slender, ornate band of my engagement ring, it was too much. The simplicity of my ring -- the slender, delicate band; the simple solitaire -- was gone. (I realize my band isn't simple, but I think there's still a simplicity to the ring as a whole, if that makes sense.)

When I added the wedding band to my engagement ring, all I saw was sparkle. I felt like my solitaire got lost in the glitter of the bands. Instead of a beautiful, tiny band on my finger, there was now a wide band of diamonds. The combination looked extravagant, fancy, sparkly, expensive -- all of which I think don't suit me.

"Oh, now that completes the picture," the salesman said, looking at the rings combined. Then, looking at K, "Will that be cash, check or charge?"

I laughed nervously at his joke. Only he looked serious. I decided the best thing to do then was to be honest with the salesman. "This band is beautiful," I said, "but it's too much. I like simple things. When I look at my hand with this band on, all I see are diamonds, and it's not that that's a bad thing, but it's not what I'd had in mind."

I told him that K had done such a great job of choosing my ring that I loved it just the way it was -- with the thin band, and with the way the solitaire stands out. I told him I felt like the solitaire was lost when the band was added. I even told him I'd considered keeping my ring as is, either not adding a wedding band, or just wearing the band on my right hand, since I like it so much as it is.

"Well then you'd be walking around unmarried, and we can't have that!" said the salesman. He told me that now, I'm excited to be engaged, so I want the solitaire to stand out. That once I'm married, I won't mind if the diamond doesn't stand out as much as when the ring is on its own. He told me that the band was made to go with the ring and that the two together weren't too much.

I had handed the band back to him, and as he talked, he moved it around in his fingers, letting it catch all the light. As he twirled it around in his hands, I caught sight of the price tag, which made me gasp and admit what I'd just seen. I thought I was going to hyperventilate, and I fought off the urge to cry right there. I can't remember the discussion after that point, but eventually, the salesman told me I'd get used to the band, and he had me put it back on my finger. "Now will that be cash, check or charge?" he asked K again.

To be honest, at that point, I was ready to leave. I felt kind of pressured, and I didn't want K to be spending that much on a ring I wasn't so in love with I couldn't live without it.

K asked the salesman to leave us for a minute. K told me he wished I hadn't seen the price tag. He said that the price didn't matter, since I'd be wearing the ring for the rest of my life. I told him I hadn't expected my wedding band to be so expensive. "Well, me either," he said, "but then I saw it on your hand, and it just looks so perfect."

I told K again that I'd wanted a simpler band. "Well, look at this," he said, and he turned the wedding band upside down, so that only the solid platinum of the underside was showing. It looked ridiculous, just a solid platinum band next to the ornate band of my ring. It didn't go together at all. While I hadn't planned on just a solid band like that, I could see his point. We talked for a few more seconds about it before K called the salesman back over.

The fancy, elaborate wedding band is now being sized from a 7 to a 5 1/2. I'll pick it up on Wednesday. I still feel anxious about the price and the whole trip. But I'm eager to pick it up so I can get another look at it. Maybe when it's the right size, it won't be so overwhelming. Maybe it just looked that way under all those bright jewelry store lights.

Maybe in September when K and I are out on the beach in Florida, I'll realize when he slips it on my finger that I really do like the way it looks. Maybe I'm just kidding myself about not wanting a ring so sparkly and fancy. Maybe I just talked myself out of liking that style because I was sure I'd never have it.

I really really hope that's the case.