How was YOUR morning? (A little TMI in the beginning, FYI)

Fair warning: I'd decided not to post about this earlier this morning, but it seems like a wonderfully funny story after two margaritas during happy hour.

This morning, I had a follow-up doctor's appointment for something a couple weeks ago that turned out to be totally not a big deal. Just a month ago, though, I'd had my lovely well-woman's exam (results were normal, thanks for asking).

Anyway, for a quick catch-up, the doctor was out of town when the scary symptoms came, so I had to go to an outpatient center in my doctor's absence. I saw her today to make sure everything was a-OK. My appointment, as usual, started with the scale.

The nurse asked me to step on the scale, and I laughed when I saw the numbers. I knew they were up from when I'd seen my doctor last month, but they were back to what they usually are (my co-worker reminded me when I told her this story that just over a month ago, I had my wisdom teeth taken out, which is probably the culprit here), so I didn't care.

My doctor came in to see me once I was in my own little room. She told me everything was fine as far as why I was there that day. "But you've gained five pounds in the last month," she said.

"I'd like to think it's all muscle," I said proudly, considering showing her my guns (which are right back to where I wanted them, by the way).

She laughed at me. "Five pounds? Of muscle?"

I contemplated telling her that muscle weighs more than fat, but she's the one who went to med school -- she knows that.

"Well, I don't know if this will make that much of a difference, but last time I came, I had nothing in my stomach, and today, I ate a bowl of cereal and have been drinking water." Even as I said this, I was drinking my water.

"You ate 5 lbs. of breakfast?" my doctor asked me.

"It was a big bowl of cereal!" I said, defensively. "I'm not worried about it," I said to her. "I work out."

"Oh, well that's good," my doctor said. Then, she looked at the calendar and considered my *ahem* schedule and realized that that, along with the reason I was seeing her this morning, equals water retention, which could account for the extra five pounds.

I'll probably totally regret sharing this story tomorrow, but I just wanted to share the fact that I straight-up told my doctor my five-pound weight gain was all muscle.

If you saw these guns, you'd think so too.