I'm thinking fudge brownie would do the trick

My husband is eating ice cream.

My lunch was delayed for a good half hour because I couldn't find a way to politely excuse myself from a conversation about coworkers' travels.

By the time I did get my lunch, I was starving. It was gone in 5 minutes.

I'm still hungry.

I'm trying to decipher a project I'm supposed to finish by the end of the day. I have no clue what I have to do to start it because I haven't had training in the program that holds that information.

I called K to find out if asking, "Can I get a bit more direction on this?" sounds rude. That's when he told me he was eating ice cream.

This afternoon, I have an hour-long meeting, an appointment to go to (for work) that will take at least 30 minutes, and a lot of figuring out to do before I can begin and (hopefully) complete this project.

I'd rather be eating ice cream.

Pardon my French; this was a big day for me!

Our big run was on Saturday, and I'm happy to report my knees held up just fine! My shiny new knee brace was amazing, and I'm going to try to get one for my right knee too.

K and I had wanted to complete the 10K in a 10-min-mile pace. We actually managed quicker than a 9-min-mile pace! Score!

Isn't my new brace (the black one) hardcore?! 

(I'd have adjusted my running belt if I had known it would look like a fanny pack in this picture. Without that pack, this picture wouldn't have been possible.)

My MRI appointment is set for next week, so hopefully soon I'll know more about what's going on with my knees. It was a huge relief, though, to have no pain or swelling after last weekend -- especially since I was hardly following the doctor's orders of returning to running slowly and gently.

As if that's not enough, I found out in our kickball newsletter today that I was named co-MVP of last week's game.

I'm on a roll, bitches!

Ready to run

When I was little, like a lot of kids do, I thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up. Also like a lot of kids do, I changed my mind a lot. Actress. Singer. Lawyer. Teacher. Fashion designer. Helper. Writer.

I went back and forth on potential careers, but the one thing I didn't change my mind on was that I wanted to be tall when I grew up.

Sometime in 6th or 7th grade -- probably about the time I first really understood height measurements -- I decided I wanted to be 5'9" or 5'10". Just tall enough to not have to ask for help with items on the top shelf. I wasn't one of the tall kids in the class. My dad was right at 6', but my mom was 5'4". Who knew where I was going to wind up.

Then, in the summer between 8th and 9th grade, my body decided to grow very quickly. I started passing a lot of my friends. I got tall enough that when people asked me, "Have you gotten taller since the last time I saw you?", I could honestly say to them, "I hope not!"

I stopped growing somewhere between 5'9" and 5'10" -- right smack where I wanted to be.

But while my body was doing all that stretching vertically, it forgot to tell my knees to keep up.

So that summer, I had my first big knee injury. I had surgery. I got crutches and a brace. And then I hurt my other knee. I got a brace for it. Over the next few years, I went back and forth between dislocating my right knee and my left knee. My doctor gave me exercises I'd have to do for the rest of my life, and he told me I couldn't participate in any sports for the next 4 years. I didn't get "athletic" until after college, so at 15, that news wasn't a big deal.

When I did start running 10 years later, I ran with braces on both knees. Thankfully, random buckling incidents had died off. I still worried about my knees in certain activities, but at least they were more reliable now.

Then K and I ran the 10-Miler 2 weeks ago. We had done a training run several days before, and my left knee was swollen for a few days after. The 10-Miler left it even more swollen for a few days longer. I saw a doctor about it. They did x-rays, and when I went in for the follow-up, they took more x-rays.

I was scared they'd tell me I couldn't run anymore. Funny how all these mornings the snooze button has won out over going for a run, yet the moment it seems that option could be taken away, it seems devastating.

Thank goodness, the doctor told me I could keep running. Evidently my problem stems from the fact that my kneecaps point  to the outside of my leg rather than being center-aligned. The doctor says this is something that happened years ago when I was growing, and nothing I've done has caused it. I'm cleared to keep running, but I have new exercises to do. He also fitted me for a wicked-looking brace that came with a DVD. I was OK with that.

Then yesterday, the doctor called me again. He wants me to go back for an MRI. I guess one of the other things that's wrong with my knee(s?) made him want to get a better look.

I'm supposed to run a 10K tomorrow. Thanks to all this swelling/knee problem business, I haven't run since the 10-Miler. And since the doctor has said things to me like, "I bet your knees hurt when you have to sit for a long time, like at the movies. Here's why," I've become aware of the tinges of pain I've ignored. Like when I'm sitting on the floor hugging my knees. Or climbing stairs.

I've started babying my knees, worrying that certain movements can further damage whatever is already wrong with them. Like the constant squats in my favorite kettlebell class.

I don't like this change. I'm ready to get the stupid MRIs, have the follow-up appointment with my doctor, and know how I can go on about my life without worrying about the damage I may be inflicting upon my knees. I kind of need those things.

A glimpse of the person I don't want to be

A lot of things about my mom bug me enormously. Whenever I feel myself doing anything like her -- using a phrase she likes to use, making a face I've seen her make, adding the types of overexaggerated mockery in stories like she does (even if it does add a little color to the story) -- I am painfully aware of it. Always.

I can see her or hear her doing whatever it is that I've just done or said, and a piece of me shutters inside. Part of me feels disgusted; part of me feels scared.

I don't want to be like my mom. But for some reason, she is exactly who I was acting like this morning.

My alarm went off at 6 a.m. K and I had gone to bed a little before midnight, but a few late nights in a row had caught up to me. I knew we needed to get up and run (we've got a 10K this Saturday, and I haven't run since our 10-miler almost two weeks ago). I knew we needed to vacuum and dust. But K didn't move, even after I asked if he was going to get up. The window was open, so our room was nice and cold, and the bed was nice and cozy, so I stayed put.

At 6:30, I finally dragged myself to the bathroom to put my contacts in. When I came out with my robe on, ready to get started cleaning, K asked, "Are we not running?"

"No!" He must have missed the disgust and frustration I put into that word because he didn't follow it up with the sarcastic response he usually gives (understandably so) at that tone. I headed downstairs to vacuum, and several minutes later he was asking me what I wanted him to do. I was cranky, and I don't even remember how it started, but we both wound up snipping at each other. We were both tired, both wanting to be in bed, both knowing we had needed the run, and both knowing the run wasn't going to happen.

We picked at each other. The picking turned into shouting. At one point, I finally screamed at K. Literally. I knew I was being unreasonable, but I also knew that I just needed him to leave me alone and start vacuuming upstairs. All he seemed to want to do was keep following me and bitching at me.

As we always do, once we'd had time to ourselves to cool off, we were fine. But in that cooling off period, I was thinking about my mom.

The reason we were up vacuuming and dusting the house at 6:30 this morning is because we have two friends coming tonight to stay the weekend with us. One of them has visited many times, but the other has never been to our house. When I was growing up, only the people who had been in our house several times could see it at anything less than its best. I'm afraid that's something I took with me.

All I could think about as I vacuumed and dusted was that if someone comes over to our house, whatever they think is going to be reflected at me. To most people, if a house is badly decorated, it's because the wife is a bad decorator. If it's not decorated, it's because the wife is lazy. If it's dirty, it's because the family is messy and the lady of the house hasn't taken control of it. If there was a clump of black Piper hair at the top of the stairs, it would be because I hadn't vacuumed it.

I was stressing over something so stupid. Especially since both the friends visiting us are guys. The chances that either of them would see any speck of dirt were very slim; the chances they'd care were even slimmer. Not that that mattered to me. I was stuck in a torturous place between rational thought and irrational behavior.

But all the floors got vacuumed, and all the furniture got dusted.The house still isn't spotless, but it's plenty clean for now.

Before he left for work, K and I hugged for a long time and apologized to each other. We're both stubborn, and we can both have our moments of crankiness, so this was a move we've done before. It was good to know that even though we'd started our day screaming at each other, we were at peace with each other before we left for work ...

... Although I can't say I'm at peace with myself. It was only a 30-minute lapse (if that) -- and my cooling-off period was a fraction of the time of my mom's -- but I'm extremely disappointed with myself. I've felt like crying all morning.

When one of your biggest fears is becoming like your mother, lapses like this morning -- no matter how brief -- are scary enough to shake you up for the rest of your day.

Maybe I had an influence on her?

I was talking to my boss this morning when something caught my attention: Her nails were painted purple!

When I complimented her on the color, she told me she'd decided to treat herself to a manicure, and she wanted to do something other than the standard pink or red.

Even though last week was my first week of work, I had braved it and wore my purple polish all week. Since she's a member of the Purple Polish Fan Club, I told my boss how I'd repainted mine twice for the callbacks because I was worried they'd give the wrong impression in my interviews.

My boss, who is probably in her 40s, told me she'd actually worn hot pink tights and black boots to her interview! She said she realized it was inappropriate when she arrived, but it was too late to change (I guess her interview was last-minute?).

Anyway, I really think I'm going to like this job. I had a really busy day today, and tomorrow promises to be the same, but I'm excited about the projects I've got coming up. It's still early, obviously, but I really think this is going to be a really great fit! 

Back in the working world

My first week of work is done, and so is my first working girl weekend. Geez, these things fly by!

K and I got a lot done outside the house this weekend. I'm adding people who enjoy gardening to my list of People Who Are Crazy, right alongside wedding planners (I've struggled with whether or not people who like to cook should be on there too. I'm still leaning toward yes.). I spent way too much of a fabulous day ripping weeds from the flower beds. The worst part is knowing I'll have to do it all over again in a few weeks. I'd just as soon kill off the entire flower bed and start over -- only I'm pretty sure the weeds (like cockroaches) would survive. *sigh*

K was awesome and washed, waxed and detailed both our cars today. Turns out my car is supposed to be red, and the entire is actually pretty luxurious. Who'd have thought?

Now that I've got myself a job, I also decided I've got myself a good excuse to go shopping. I managed to find quite a few good deals this afternoon, so I'm looking forward to dressing for work next week!

On that front, I'm enjoying my job, but that's to be expected a week into it, right? I was worried the first few days. It was the usual, "Everyone else is really busy, and I don't know what I should be doing ... They're going to realize they don't need me and fire me," which is common at the start of a job. I'm still waiting on my login information for my computer (seriously, why don't they start working on that crap as soon as a person accepts the job?!), but I was able to get quite a few things done last week. And my supervisor actually thinks I'm a great writer!

New clothes, creative workplace, productive days ... Having a job again is nice!

Now you can feel like you ran it too!

Some pictures from the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler.

The packed starting line!

Taking pictures while running can be difficult ...

It's the Kenyans!!!! (And Ethiopians.) They started 10-minutes before we did, or otherwise I'm sure K and I'd have been right there with them. ;) We all clapped and cheered them on as we gawked at how far they were along the course. We were still on mile 1; they were probably on 4, at least.

The run took us around several monuments in D.C.

A few times in the course, there were loops that made us pass other runners headed the opposite direction. When these loops took place under a bridge, we all cheered each other on. The echoes of support were pretty cool!

There are some characters who run this race! First we saw Santa ...

... and right behind him, the Jogging Juggler!

This was K's first organized run. Since he went to Iraq, being in a crowd can be an uncomfortable experience for him. He was anxious at the beginning of the run, and his crankiness made me wonder if this would be our last organized run together. He had his pacing watch on, so his constant, "Pace yourself. You're at a 9-minute mile .... OK, now pick it up. We're at 10-and-a-half .... Slow down a little," was driving me insane. We were crowded, so every time I bumped into him (which did happen fairly often in the beginning), he griped at me. 

Thank goodness, by mile 6 or so, he had apologized and calmed down. I think he was caught off guard by just how crowded the course was.

Our goal had been to run the entire thing in a 10-minute mile. I wanted to finish at just under 1:40. We got pretty close to that, and I burned over 1,200 calories, according to my heart rate monitor!

We finished pretty strong, but we were glad to be done! I've taken this week easy, but I'll probably be out running again this weekend -- we've got a 10K at the end of the month!

Out of practice

This has been a busy AND tiring week for me! K & I were out of town last weekend and ran the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler. Then, I started my job on Monday. I was pretty exhausted that day, and Tuesday night I hung out with some friends. Tonight, I rushed from work, to kickball, to dinner, to kickball.

Evidently I've completely forgotten how to balance blogging and working. Or, more realistically, I'm in a new job and am definitely not risking blogging from work like I used to in Dallas.

Maybe tomorrow night will leave me with time for details and pictures.

Here's hoping.

Sunset on the dog beach

Having some fun with my camera at a quiet little dog beach with K, CG & Joe, and our host dog.

A nice way to end to the day!

Geez, I did take a lot of pictures!

This is taking forever, so here are more from the North Shore, a lagoon, a sunset mai tai cruise, a fun dinner in Waikiki, and the Dole Plantation.

From a prawn stand on the North Shore

Pipeline

The lagoon CG took us to.

I took this in the car, but I'm sharing it because this is a glimpse of my heaven: acres and acres of Hawaiian pineapple, just waiting for me to eat them! 

What may have been our favorite thing we did: the sunset mai tai cruise! 

See the lighthouse in the background? We have a picture of it that I took when we hiked to see the lighthouse on our trip in 2007 hanging over our fireplace.

Us with our matchmakers!

Waikiki Beach

Turns out you can make friends very easily on a boat with an open bar!

CG and I drove the boat for a minute.

(My favorite sunset picture is in my Hawaii in bullets post.)

The sunset cruise let us off in Waikiki Beach. To get back to the streets, we had to walk through a hotel on the beach. We were feeling pretty good, and we also kind of needed to stop to break the seal. A hotel to the left of us had restrooms outside, so we went up to them. The doors were locked, and a hotel worker informed us we need a room key to get inside them. K pretended to be looking for his!

Just then, the women's bathroom door opened. I briefly considered grabbing the door as the woman walked out, but I typically follow rules. Plus, the woman who exited the bathroom immediately caught my attention. 

When she walked away, I turned to K and CG. "Guys! She's famous! She's an actress! I KNOW her, but I don't know her name. Did you see her?!"

They hadn't, so they didn't know her name either. Joe had caught up with us by that point, so I told them all to take a quick look when we walked by. Only she was packing up her things and had turned toward her husband and child (I'm assuming that's who they were, anyway) when we passed them. Dang it!

As CG and I walked together, I was still reeling from my sighting. "It probably wasn't even her," I said, "but it looked just like her!"

"The actress?' said someone behind me. I turned to see a hotel worker. "Last name is Harding or something. It's her."

!!!!

Thanks to my awesome description on Facebook and my cousin, who was just as determined as I was to find out who it was, I now know the celeb was Marcia Gay Harden. K, CG and Joe still had no idea who she was. Not exactly an A-lister, but still! I'll take it. 

Time for food! 

Crazy flavors! Believe it or not, I picked pineapple relish. :)

And time for more drinks, of course! 

(My eyes weren't red from all the drinks -- I was buzzed, but not that much! I was exhausted! It was only an hour or two after this that I was making myself stand up in an attempt to stay awake. It was a long day, and the time difference was killing me!)

The next day, we went to the Dole Plantation. Mmm!

So many types of pineapples!

Time for a Dole Whip! I couldn't decide between option 7 & 8 or a standard Dole Whip with pineapple topping. The standard one won out, since it promised me even more fresh pineapple. I'm a sucker for it!

Whew! The good news is I'm to the evening of Day 5 now, which means I just have a few dog beach pictures and a ton of pics from K's and my amazing trip to the Big Island. 

Hopefully I haven't bored you to death with my vacation slideshow, but I've really tried to show just some of the high points in pictures. I just got too many good ones!