The friend-making continues!

Last night, K and I went to a party hosted by a couples group I found on MeetUp. We arrived about an hour after the gathering started, since we procrastinated on making the appetizer we were bringing as our contribution. When we walked into the house, most of the couples there were a little older than we thought they'd be.

We played several rounds of Catchphrase -- guys vs. girls. Of course the guys lost miserably. It was a fun game to play, but there were a few people there who took it a little too seriously.

There were 7 couples there. Everyone was nice, but most of the people, I don't think we'd be interested in hanging out with on our own. The older couples tended to be pretty quiet. They just seemed mentally old. Of the two couples there around our age, one was amazingly awkward. (The husband actually had no idea who Ryan Seacrest is. That tells you how big the rock is that they live under. Not that Ryan Seacrest is particularly amazing or anything, but I thought everyone knew who he was.) The other younger couple seemed nice, but they were the last to arrive and the first to leave, so we didn't get to talk to them much. The girl had one of the loudest laughs I've ever heard, and I think it was getting to K. (Seriously, when this girl laughed, the game went on hold because no one in the room could hear a thing!)

The hosts were pretty cool. They were also a little older than us (the husband has a 14-year-old son), but they're probably just in their late 30s or so. They were really fun and laid back. K and I could definitely see ourselves hanging out with them again. They're actually the organizers of the group, so I'm sure we'll have plenty of opportunities to hang out with them again at other events.

It takes time to make friends, and we know that. It was a fun Saturday night out of the house. And after our first couples' meetup, we have at least one couple we look forward to hanging out with again. Not bad!

I made a friend!!!

Today was my big lunch date with the girl from MeetUp.com. It went really well!

We had a lot to talk about, and we seem to have quite a bit in common! We were at lunch for over 2 hours, and it flew by. As if that wasn't enough to feel good about, she's already friended me on Facebook! That's right, it's an Official Friendship.

She has a small group of girls meeting at her place on Monday to watch the finale of The Bachelor, and she invited me along. I haven't watched this season (I swore off the show after that whole Jason Mesn!ck mess), but I did catch part of the Women Tell All show last week.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to go. I'm excited about it! I'm definitely due for a good girls' night!

What a difference a few days makes!

After my last post, themisadventuresofk suggested I try MeetUp.com. I created a profile, looked around a bit, and joined some groups. I sent a couple normal-looking girls messages, promising them I wasn't crazy.

I'm meeting one of them for lunch tomorrow!

I looked in a few new places for jobs, and I found one that sounds pretty magnificent. Trouble is, it's 45 miles away. But it's editing and it's writing and it's working with people. It's even slightly managerial (whoa!). The description says it would be a great entry-level position for the right candidate. With my experience, I very well could be the right candidate.

I don't know the hours, and I don't know the pay, so I sent in my resume and some writing samples. Maybe something will come of it, and maybe nothing will come of it. But if all the best-case scenarios happen and I get offered the job, if in the end the commute will be too rough, I don't have to take the position. And who knows? Maybe it'll lead to some other possibility.

So that's what I've got now: possibilities. Much more exciting.

Feeling worthless

I don't know how much longer I can take this without going crazy. I feel like a lazy, worthless piece of existence.

I have no job. I have no friends here.

For the last couple weeks, I've been working remotely almost every day with the company I worked for in Dallas. It's been nice to have something specific to do each day (as opposed to a list of chores to do throughout the week), especially when it brings in money. But it's inconsistent. The work only goes from project to project. Not exactly consistent work.

We had two friends stay with us last weekend. One guy is in the area for a training class, so he's been here a lot the last month or so. The other drove down from Boston to see us. It was the first guy's birthday on Saturday, so we went out for dinner and drinks. It was three guys and me.

Since K is in the Army (and was stationed at such a shithole last time), I have often been in that situation -- being the lone girl with the group of guys. But that's how it always is here, since a couple of K's friends have found themselves in our area for training since we've moved here and since we don't know anyone here (girls or guys).

I was so excited to be going out on Saturday night! I picked out a really cute outfit and fun earrings. We didn't know where exactly to go out, so I had gotten on Facebook and asked a guy I worked with at the temp job if he had any recommendations. He gave us a list, so we picked a place and headed out.

The bar was all right. After we got there, the crowd started looking a lot younger. A live band played that was pretty decent. But going to a place like that with a group of guys is completely different than being there with a group of girls. Instead of talking and interacting with people, we sat at our table. Often in silence (although the loud band may have been partially to blame for that).

I felt awkward. Unfun. I love people watching, but it felt like we were at the table no one wanted to interact with, since we didn't look like we were having fun even amongst ourselves. Maybe it was because 3 of the 4 of us were married. Maybe I felt that way because I was the only sober one (someone's gotta be the DD).

I found myself (even more than at the gym or the grocery store or at restaurants) scoping out the crowd for girls my age who I could be friends with. Not that there's any uncreepy, unweird way to go about that: "Um, hi. You look my age, and I don't know anyone. I promise I'm not weird. Do you want to be my friend?"

I miss girl company. Getting dressed up to go out and spend time with your friends. I started thinking about the next time that will happen for me. Late spring at the earliest. It all depends on when I go back to OK & TX next.

That's a long time to wait.

So here I sit, wasting away in my living room. Again (although there is a work project that's supposed to be hitting my inbox anytime now). Because I don't have a job, and I don't know anyone here.

Blech.

*Note: I have applied for a couple of jobs lately. We'll see if anything comes out of that. I also looked up info for various volunteer organizations around here. I'm working on improving my situation, but I can still feel crappy about it for now. At least for a couple more hours.

After almost 5 years, we finally took a trip together ... alone

The drive to Snowshoe, where K and I went skiing, was about the same amount of time it used to take us to get to each other's apartments when we lived in Dallas and Louisiana. It was the first time either of us had been to West Virginia. It turned out to be a pretty scenic drive, and the closer we got to the mountain, the more ridiculous the road got.

If we lived in this town, I'd totally go to church here!

Such a beautiful view.

K said this is the craziest road he's ever been on. He actually got dizzy driving on the way back. These turns were insane!

Quite a welcome sign ...

Because we procrastinated on making our reservations, we weren't able to find a hotel room until Sunday, so we left Sunday morning. It was early Sunday afternoon by the time we checked in. We hurried to change into our gear and set out for the mountain.

I still had my Keystone run-in in the back of my mind, so I was hesitant to go too fast, and having to anticipate other skiers' movements made me nervous. I felt like it was my first time skiing again.

We got a good 4 hours in on the slopes before calling it a night at about 7:30. We headed straight to a nearby restaurant for dinner, and then we went back to the hotel. We'd planned on hitting up the hot tub, but I felt awful.

I was getting sharp stomach pains in waves. I was actually doing the math, wondering if I was going to wind up on one of those I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant shows (our May wedding WAS 9 months ago!). I had hoped there would be a little romance involved in our first solo trip, so I'd packed a nice little nightie. It never left my suitcase. I actually got up sick a few times during the night.

We got up early the next morning and headed to breakfast. The thought of putting even water into my body made me nervous, but I forced myself to eat a couple bites. We stopped off at the gift shop for some Pepto, and we headed to the slopes for a few more hours before we had to go back home.

It was snowing, and since it wasn't even 10 a.m. (the slopes opened at 9), the mountain was fairly clear. We got to ski on fresh powder! I felt more confident, and my first run was pretty darn fast.

We got quite a few runs in during the 2 hours or so that we skied, and each time I was more confident with weaving around people and anticipating their movements. K was my constant cheerleader. I did pretty well! I didn't fall once, either day!

The blue slopes at Snowshoe looked nicer than the "green" I'd attempted at Keystone. I actually considered trying one out, but K was hesitant to have me attempt that prematurely again. I think if I didn't have the whole Schoolmarm thing on my record, I'd have gone for a blue at Snowshoe (bonus points for rhyming!).

With the snowfall, we had to head out before the roads got bad. We passed so many small towns with huge fields of fresh, untouched snow. K and I were wishing we could stop and just mess it all up. How fun would that be?!

We got home at about dinner time. I still wasn't feeling great. I had slept a good part of the way home, but we were both exhausted. We unpacked and fell asleep just after 8:00.

Now that we're all rested, we're already talking about going back. Next time, though, we'll make a full weekend of it!

The fact this will take place partially on Valentine's Day is a total coincidence

K and I have been lots of places together. We've been to NYC (a couple times) ...

... Boston, New Orleans, and Niagara Falls. Savannah, GA (also a couple times).

Washington, D.C.

Hawaii. Colorado. New Hampshire. Florida (our last trip there was kind of a big deal for us).

And that's not even the entire list.

Over the course of our almost 5-year relationship, we've done lots of traveling for lots of reasons: Weddings. Reunions. Celebrations. Fun getaways.

But all of those trips -- even the weekend trips we've taken in the car -- have been either with other people or to see other people.

In our five years together (after getting married TWICE, mind you), we've

never

taken

a trip

entirely on our own,

just for ourselves.

Tomorrow, we'll do that for the first time!

It's not a big trip. In fact, we haven't even planned it, really. And it wasn't intentional. We just decided to go skiing nearby (after a couple previous failed attempts due to weather), and since it's a 4-day weekend and Valentine's Day, all our friends who are around here are busy or out of town (guess we're the only ones boycotting the holiday).

My first reaction was to keep looking -- to try to find someone to go with us. It's not that I can't handle going somewhere alone with my husband. It's just that, even if it's only for a day and a night, this will be the closest thing we've had to a honeymoon, and I figured that would take place on a beach.

Only this won't be our honeymoon. (Yes, we do intend to have one of those someday.)

Even though it's a quick trip, I'm excited we'll finally be taking it. A trip by ourselves and for ourselves is something we should've done a long time ago.

Who knows? Maybe we'll even start making it a more regular event!

Valentine's, Schmalentine's

I have nothing against Valentine's Day, really. I just don't think it's a very nice holiday.

It's one of those things that always sounds great from the outside. One of those things that only matters on that day. One of those things that matters more if you're unable to celebrate it for whatever reason.

I've always told K that I'd rather have flowers on any other day of the year than February 14. They mean more to me that way, and they're cheaper too. Unfortunately, K never quite got the hint.

So a couple weeks ago, I suggested we boycott Valentine's Day. K was down. See, it's not that we disagree with the principle of the holiday. That couldn't be further from the truth. We just decided we want to celebrate Us on a day that's significant to us. So this Sunday will be exactly that for us: a Sunday.

Instead, on April 1 -- the date that K proposed to me in 2007 -- we'll celebrate [OurLastName] Day.

There may be flowers involved. Card purchases will likely be made. There could be chocolate. There will be gifts.

So in the end, the card companies will get their way; the florists will still get our money (only a lot less of it). But it'll be on the date we chose.

It's our holiday.

I love everything about that.

We interrupt this blog ... (attention: venting language ahead)

I love living in Virginia, but there's one thing that's driving me fucking insane. When we moved here in July, my car tag was about to expire. I called the VA DMV, and they told me I could either keep my TX plates and renew there, or opt to switch my car to VA. I weighed my options, compared prices, and put something up on Facebook about my decision. An Army wife acquaintance saw it and told me I had to switch over to VA, that I didn't have a choice.

I visited the VA DMV's website, and evidently she was right. I made the switch. I brought my initial registration papers from TX to prove that I'd paid $1000 on taxes on my car when I first got it. And that was that.

Or so I thought.

Since then, I've been getting letters from the commonwealth of VA and the whatever-the-hell-they-call-it (city, essentially) that we live in telling me I owe personal property taxes on my car.

I called. Explained that I've already paid them in TX. But evidently that doesn't count. Because VA is a commonwealth. That means VA itself can charge me, AND the city can charge me just for parking my car within its borders.

To avoid all this crap (and having to deal with it every time we move), I can transfer MY car that I bought and I paid for solely into K's name, since he's the servicemember and is exempt from such shit tactics.

Then, in November, the Mil!tary Spouse's Res!dency Rel!ef Act passed. I thought, "How awesome! Now I can keep my car in my name!"

WRONG!

See, for some reason the act only applies to spouses who were born in the same state as the servicemember. How the hell does that make sense? I was born in this country. Aren't we all on the same team?!

And the most frustrating part? In my effort to follow the law, I screwed myself over. See, because now I have my car registered in VA. We had a little gubernatorial election in November too, so I registered to vote here. The November act allows me to have a home of record. Since I've changed so much over to VA, I guess it can't be TX anymore, which means it'll probably have to be VA at least for now.

So that takes me back to having to transfer my car solely to K's name.

I feel like the state (grr!) commonwealth of VA is stealing my car and giving it to my husband. K doesn't understand why I'm so frustrated by the whole thing. He says it's just a piece of paper.

But the trouble is, it's a legal document. Just like a marriage license, or a will.

It's my car. I bought it. Why can't my name be on the title? (And if my home of record stays VA, then I'll NEVER be able to have my name on the car title. To avoid being taxed out the @$$, it has to be solely in the servicemember's name.)

I was expressing my frustration tonight while I was trying to vacuum our living room rug and our couch. I had just moved a TV tray out of the way, which had resting on it K's fancy laptop and our ridiculous TV remote that has a touch screen and connects to the effing computer.

I struggled with the fancy vacuum and its eleventy billion attachments (K put it together while I was unpacking our kitchen, so I missed out on the, "THIS is how it works!" that comes along with putting it together). K cringed and kept telling me to wait when I was doing so much as picking the vacuum up. (Seriously, not even exaggerating. I wasn't slamming it, I wasn't jamming anything. Nothing.)

I'm so frustrated right now. I love the area where we live, and I'm so glad to be living with K now.

But part of me misses the simplicity of living with my shitty $60 Hoover (that wasn't that shitty, really) and the TV remote that I could carelessly toss across the room because it came with my shitty TV and could be replaced if needed, and in an actual state that wasn't trying to tax me for something that I'd ALREADY paid taxes on when I bought it FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO.

Déjà vu

Last weekend gave us a bit of déjà vu in the form of more snow. This time, our area wasn't the hardest hit, but that didn't keep us away from going to the place that was!

After all, it was Super Bowl weekend. We'd had plans to spend it with friends in DC for months. We weren't going to let a few inches -- OK, a few feet -- of snow keep us away!

So on Saturday afternoon (after finishing our items for the Super Bowl party), we headed north. The roads were fine until we got a little north of Richmond. From then on, they were covered in snow and pretty bumpy. Since we were in K's SUV, we didn't have to worry about skidding, so we pressed on.

We couldn't believe how deep the snow was when we got to DC! (That's a car under there!)

On Sunday, we watched Piper have a blast playing in the snow with our friends' black lab. They made quite the team! The lab would do an almost swimming, butterfly-like maneuver to make a path through the snow, and she and Piper would run around them. K would throw snowballs, and they'd chase after them.

Piper is not a big fetcher, but she'll chase after snowballs! When she got bored with that, she entertained herself with trying to herd the lab, which is at least twice as big as she is. It was pretty entertaining to watch them!

We drove around a bit looking at all the snow.

As for that last picture, K almost went crazy when he saw it. It was quite a fort, complete with a telescope and flag. The first thing that went through my mind was that I could see a very similar image someday (minus the Hummer, of course) in our future once we have kids!

The Super Bowl party wound up being a bit smaller than our friends had planned. The 15 guests they had expected was substantially more than what they wound up with. K and I were the only people who were able to come!

I think it was easier for us to put forth the effort in getting there because (1) we left the day before, (2) we knew the effort it would take to get there would be worth the distance we were going, and (3) we're just cool like that. As our friend put it, everyone already in the area was probably in hibernation mode. Plus, if their cars were as buried as the ones we saw around town, I can't blame them for not messing with it!

A smaller party meant better seating for all of us, more one-on-one time with some of our closest friends, and more yummy food for each of us!

Totally worth the drive!

So I've realized I attribute a good amount of my self-worth to work

In late December, I was so happy to see my temp job come to an end. January was pretty hectic for us, so the whole job thing went on the back burner.

Now, we're home and things are normal again. After the way my last job turned out, I'm not in a hurry to just land somewhere anymore. We're very fortunate that K is in the military, so he has no worries about job security, and he can support us both if needed. However, that's not the plan I'm ready to settle on.

Until we moved here, I'd had a job since I was 13. I'm used to working. I'm not opposed to taking a retail job at the mall or even a grocery store, but at the same time, I don't want to lose evenings and weekends with K. And I certainly don't miss having a job where everyone else came in hung over or high all the time. More professional jobs are less tolerant of that behavior, and I'd be more likely to get to keep my nights and weekends.

I have great experience on my resume. The trouble is, this area just doesn't need as many editors as a city like Dallas did. There are other things I qualify for, but many of the postings I've found are looking for someone with 10-12 years of experience. I was a senior in high school 10 years ago.

If I had accepted the fact that I don't have a job and that this might become a more permanent situation, I'd go out looking for volunteer work. I love volunteer work, and it would be a nice, fulfilling way to spend my time. Only I'm not ready to give up on finding a job.

K and I had a talk about this the other night. It was actually kind of an argument, and it's one I'm sure many military families have had.

It started out about something completely different. I had just gotten back from the grocery store, and within a couple hours, I had found two things I'd have to go back for the next day. Both were things K had used up and not added to the list.

When he got home, I said to K, "I guess I messed up in telling you I like our grocery store. It's nice, but I don't want to see it every day." I asked him to do a better job about putting things on the grocery list. I said it calmly, but I intentionally made it more of a discussion than a simple statement because I wanted to get my point across so that he wouldn't forget anymore (it's not the first time this has happened).

K got frustrated. "No offense, but it's not like you have that much else going on," he said.

It was true, and it sucked. It's not like I'm staying home to take care of our child. That would be completely different. And yes, we do have a dog, but puh-lease. She can stay home for 9 or 10 hours on her own. She doesn't need me to take care of her all day.

While I stay home, I take care of things around the house. I clean. I do yard work. I do the laundry and fold it all. I run errands. I dust, I sweep, I clean toilets, I change sheets. I try to do everything so when K is home, we don't have anything to worry about and can relax. I look at taking care of those things as my job. Sometimes I get frustrated about all I do, but it's my contribution. (A contribution I've put on myself -- it wasn't K's idea.)

But still, his comment stung. After about 20 minutes of the silent treatment, he couldn't understand why I was upset. He told me he could go get bread himself.

I reminded him of his comment about my day. I told him it wasn't a fair thing to say. "Six months ago, I had a job. I was making my own money. And then we moved across the country to this smaller town that doesn't need editors," I said.

"Do you know how it feels to go home and have people ask what you're doing? To have to tell them that you have a college degree and no job?"

K shook his head. "No, I don't."

"Well, it sucks. Big time." I was about to start crying, so I stopped talking.

K told me he'd rather me not work at all than wind up jumping at some crappy job again just to do something. A couple minutes later, we had finished talking about it, and I was feeling better.

Thank goodness, the last couple weeks the company I worked with in Dallas has asked me to do a bit of contract work. It hasn't been every day, and it hasn't necessarily been a lot of work, but they've asked for my help again next week.

I'm still hopeful I'll find something more steady. Until that happens, I'll keep my fingers crossed that this contract work continues. It's nice to be earning a paycheck again.

Things you should try

1. Watching Zombieland. When K and I saw it at the theater, I just knew I'd hate it. The first 5 minutes were exactly what I expected. I prepared myself for torture ... and boy, was I surprised! The movie is so funny! It came out on video last night, so we watched it again. Hilarious!
2. Halestorm. You may not be a rock music fan, but seriously, give them a listen. Lzzy's voice is just amazing -- and it's even better in person! K and I saw them in concert Monday night for the 3rd time. Man, can that girl wail! Considering 2009 was their breakout year, I wouldn't be surprised to see them explode in 2010.
3. H&M. If you don't live near one, you may be lucky enough to wind up near one at some point this year. If that's the case, make the trip. It's worth bringing a bigger suitcase!
4. Envirosax bags. I love these things so much that I gave them to my closest friends as Christmas gifts this year. Who wouldn't want to save the planet and look good doing it?!
5. ULTA's formaldehyde-free and toluene-free nail polish. (That means it's more environmentally friendly than most other nail polishes!) It stays on great, and I am loving Deep Desire on my fingernails right now. I can't find it on the website, but thank goodness I found it in the store! It's a nice dark purply color, so it's a subtler version of the gothic black nails everyone seems to be wearing right now. It's a perfect winter shade!

Oh, and speaking of that concert on Monday, I have to share a picture of the loot I scored during the performance of the headliner band, Theory of a Deadman.

That's right, a guitar pic and a drumstick. I actually managed to get 4 guitar pics, but I gave the other 3 away to people who didn't get one. Why not share, right?

Happy Hump Day!

Two posts in one: Two great things for two of my favorite guys

Remember all that traveling I did from Dec. 23 through Jan. 18? No? Well, there was a lot. So much that in 4 weeks' time, I was only home 6 days. SIX DAYS -- and all of those were 2 days at a time.

Ugh. Let's not do that again!

I listed some things I needed to tell you about, and I've only knocked the first one off the list. So now I'm going to kill two birds with one stone.

Since my last post was about a relationship I'm less than thrilled about, what better follow-up than to tell you about one that I'm SUPER thrilled about?!

Yay, Little Brother

My brother has met the woman he's going to marry. He actually met Bridget back in August when he was back in OK for a visit. When he got back to North Carolina, he and Bridget talked on the phone quite a bit. They saw each other in November when my brother was in Texas for the N@SCAR race (he works for them, remember?). Bridget flew out to NC to visit my brother after Thanksgiving.

We saw him just before the visit, and from the way he talked about her, I had my suspicions that she was The One. When he went back to OK for Christmas, they spent a good amount of time together. He met her parents. It went well.

Unfortunately, my brother left to go back to NC just two days before I arrived in OK. But I still got to meet Bridget! This girl actually drove 20 miles through warnings of icy roads to meet my dad and me -- my dad and me -- for dinner. She came over to the house the next night for dinner again, and a few days later, she came with us to my grandparents' house for dinner, where she met my aunt, my cousin and her husband, and my grandparents!

She's gorgeous, and she's so sweet. She seems pretty low-maintenance, and she's completely open to moving to NC someday. We actually have a lot in common, including a love for our cowboy boots.

My favorite part about her? She adores my brother. The first time she saw him, she actually told her friend (who's married to one of my brother's best friends), "That's my future husband."

Since they're long distance, it's funny how similar the beginning of their relationship is to the beginning of mine and K's. My brother was a little worried in the beginning about how it would work and what would have to change in his life for him to be in a relationship, especially a long-distance one. It came in handy that I've been through that experience, so I was able to answer any questions he had about what he called "the rules" of long-distance dating.

Anyway, so that's exciting! They'll have a little more of a challenge than K and I did in that they won't be able to see each other each weekend. I worry that could get to them, but I really think they're a good pair. As long as they don't rely to heavily on that and forget to put effort into it, they'll be just fine! Yay, little brother!

Yay, K!

The second thing in this double-post is a props to K. He got promoted last month, and I actually got to take part in the ceremony! A two-star general conducted the ceremony. It was impressive how much he had memorized about K in preparing for the ceremony!

When the general talked about how K started off in ROTC in college in PA, he said under his breath, "Probably a Penn State fan." I was standing up front alongside K. I started shaking my head, and one of the guys in the room called me out on it. The general said, "Oooh, that's right. His wife, [my name], is from Oklahoma and from what I understand, a die-hard Sooner fan."

"Die-hard!" I chimed in. The general added that K has become a Sooner as well (or as I like to say, he's seen the light).

So that's how I corrected a two-star general. I don't think I'll make a habit of doing that, but in this case, it had to be done.

Congratulations, K!

(By the way, please excuse the poor blurring job in these photos.)

Standing at attention while the promotion orders were being read.

The general ripping off K's rank so I could attach his new one.

Me with my Major stud!

The post I've been putting off for months: How one of my best friends married a douchebag

Rachel is one of my best friends. I've known her since we were 5, when we were in the same kindergarten class. We were in the same class every year until the 6th grade. We double-dated to junior and senior prom. Her first job was working for my dad. We roomed together all through college. She's been a big part of my life.

When Rachel and I were little, as pretty much all little girls did, we would talk about who we'd marry someday. In all that time, it never occurred to me that Rachel might marry a douchebag.

In October of 2008, I met this guy Rachel was dating, "Dre.wby". They hadn't met long before then. Dre.wby had found Rachel on MySpace, and they'd talked a couple weeks on there before meeting in person. When I met Dre.wby, we were at a bar, so it was loud, and Rachel was a little buzzed. I didn't really get to talk to Dre.wby. It was pretty much just an introduction. He didn't seem at all excited about meeting me, which isn't the best move when you're meeting one of your girlfriend's closest friends for the first time.

But I brushed it off. Hoped the next meeting would go better. It didn't. I met Dre.wby again before Thanksgiving. I was back in our hometown for the holiday, and Rachel met my dad and me out for appetizers and drinks. She brought Dre.wby.

K was deployed at the time, and Dre.wby is a Marine. He was more talkative in this meeting, but all. he. wanted. to talk about. was. the effing. Marines. He actually came off a bit insensitive to me, since he seemed to be interested in playing a compare penises (sorry to be vulgar) game of sorts about where my husband was, what he was doing, and how it differed from Dre.wby's deployment a couple years earlier (By the way, Dre.wby is a Marine photographer. My husband was in charge of 100 soldiers in combat. You lose, Dre.wby.).

My opinion about Dre.wby remained the same: Unimpressed. What the hell is Rachel thinking? Which is the first thing my dad said when we left the restaurant.

I wasn't too worried, though. Rachel didn't talk about Dre.wby like he'd stick around long. In fact, she was annoyed by him a lot. Plus, he was younger. Rachel didn't go for younger guys, and he was 21 (she was 25). Just young enough to offer Rachel two of her very favorite things: spontaneity and spoiling. Surely he'd wisen up and get sick of it. And if he didn't, she'd wake up and realize Dre.wby is a jackass.

But then Dre.wby went out of town. And since Rachel had spent so much time around the nitwit, she missed him. She was used to him! It was only then that she started talking about Dre.wby a bit differently, but I still had hopes that she'd wake up.

I didn't get to talk to Rachel much over the next couple months (that's another thing -- she sucks at keeping in touch since Dre.wby came along). The next time we spoke was February, when she told me Dre.wby was living with her.

I had hoped and prayed every time that I spoke to Rachel that she'd pick up on my lack of enthusiasm about the relationship. Ask what I thought about him so I could tell her. Now that they were living together, it was too late. Shit! Rachel had never lived with a guy before. I hadn't seen that coming.

Dre.wby had wanted to propose to Rachel very early on. He planned it for their 6-monthiversary. Rachel picked up that something was going on, and she told him not to propose yet. She said she wouldn't get engaged until she'd known someone a year. Said even that was too fast; two years would be better.

Dre.wby held off, but he told a couple of our other friends in May that he was proposing in June (8 months in, if you're keeping count). Each time Rachel called me that month, I winced as I answered the phone. Dre.wby proposed at the end of the month. Rachel said yes.

She told me they were waiting until August of 2010 to get married. They'd definitely have a long engagement. I knew it was B.S, and unfortunately, I was right.

I called her one Thursday in August (of 2009, obviously), and she told me that she and Dre.wby had gotten married the Sunday before. Only their immediate families were there. They were going to keep it a secret. They'd have a full ceremony in August of 2010. She asked me to be her maid of honor. (I immediately started working on my speech. It's going to be a challenge to hide my feelings about the groom.)

The reason for the early wedding? Dre.wby would get a raise for having a dependent, so they could use the money both to pay off his debt and to save for their wedding and honeymoon. Rachel would also get added to his insurance, which would save her money.

Then, in October, they bought a house together. Which is so not the thing to do if you're trying to save money ($7,000 tax credit or not).

Now that the wedding is getting closer, it's time to really talk about showers and details and a bachelorette party. The more I find out about it all, the more blah I feel about the whole thing.

Rachel sent me a draft of their invitations the other day. Dre.wby designed them. They look nothing like Rachel. Or wedding invitations, for that matter.

The thing is, I really do just want Rachel to be happy. I'm afraid (and truly believe) that she's just comfortable. The one good thing about Dre.wby is that he treats Rachel well.

I want more than anything to be wrong about him. To get to know him better and realize that he really is perfect for her. But considering all of Rachel's other close friends feel the same, I don't think that's gonna happen.