Sleepy day, weekend details

It's icky outside today. It rained all day yesterday, and I got to bed late. Both of these things are making it very hard to stay awake and aware at work today.

I had a great weekend with K, as usual. We went to see Tom & Kristin in Oklahoma. They're always fun to hang out with. They have known K for years, and I consider them friends of mine now, too. In fact, Kristin was one of the first people I told about how I really felt about K (the whole "wanting to marry him" thing). We went out to a couple of bars on St. Patty's day. We closed down one and went to IHOP afterward. It was so fun and goofy!

We slept in Saturday and had a lazy day. We had lunch with a few more of K's friends, two who I'd met several times before and one I'd never met. We went to Sam's Club, and K and I walked around trying different samples in the grocery department. :) Afterward, we hung out at Tom & Kristin's. We all went to dinner with the friend I'd never met and his wife. Then, we went back to Tom & Kristin's and watched more basketball and a few movies. I saw The Girl Next Door for the first time. I was disappointed. I didn't like it.

K had passed out on our bed for the weekend (from being tired, not being drunk). I got ready for bed and proceeded to try to get him up, which is always really hard to do at night. I didn't think he was even listening to me. The thing is, I had always been the one in the past (in previous relationships) who was tired from work and long days, and my boyfriend was always the one who got to sleep in and could stay up later as a result. So I know that K can hear what I'm saying. He was tired, but he was making a decision to be lazy and ignore me. He had opened his eyes, so I knew he was awake, and I told him this. I said: "Right now you're deciding to ignore me, and I know this. You're taking up the whole bed the way you're laying. Please get up and get ready for bed so I can go to sleep." He kept ignoring me. After I kept trying to get him up, I finally said, "You're being selfish. Just get up and get ready for bed." So he gave me this pissed off look, and he finally got up after a little more prodding. I asked him if he was mad at me, and he said yes. I grabbed his arm and tried to talk to him, but he was still kind of out of it and was pulling himself toward the bathroom. He went and brushed his teeth, and by the time he finished, I was so tired I was half asleep. He just got into bed without saying anything, and he didn't even curl up next to me.

I woke up a few times in the night, and he was still over on the other side of the bed. I didn't know what the situation was, so I didn't wake him or curl up next to him. The next day, though, he apologized for being stubborn and for not sleeping next to me all night. He said he was sorry that he didn't talk to me about it instead of going to sleep. I told him he was forgiven, and we made a deal that it wouldn't happen again. We said in the future, we would always talk about it instead of leaving it on a bad note. I don't know if I would call that our first fight, since to me, a fight is to people going back and forth, sometimes saying things they don't mean. A fight is an argument. And that's not what this was. It was just crankiness and stubborness.

So we made up, and everything was fine. We had a late breakfast with Tom & Kristin and headed back home. It was raining like crazy, so our drive wound up being pretty slow, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. K stayed with me at my apartment for a while. We got pizza for dinner (yum!), and he planned on leaving at 9 so he could get home about 1:30. One of his friends, though, was stuck at the Atlanta airport and was trying to figure out a way to get back to Louisiana. K told him to see if he could get a flight to the airport near me, and then he could ride back to Louisiana with him. His friend was able to get a flight that came in at midnight, so K stuck around with me until he had to leave for the airport.

We just kind of relaxed and watched TV. We cuddled and then some. It was nice. We were talking, and we somehow got on the subject of money or credit cards or something. He said something about the amount of debt he has, which really wasn't a bad number, considering he owns his SUV and his 60-inch TV. Anyway, it still was a little more than I expected. So I looked at him with raised eyebrows, said, "Really? Isn't your truck paid off?" He nodded, and he held up his left hand, waving his fingers like the "spirit fingers" guy in Bring It On, meaning it was debt from CM's engagement ring. It seemed like a lot to spend on a ring. I said, "I had no idea they were that expensive." He gave a little "hmph" and said, "I didn't either." I waited for a second, then said, "How much did you spend on it?" He immediately said, "That's not a valid question." What he meant to say was something more along the lines of, "I'm not going to answer that." I knew that was what he meant, and I immediately felt like a jerk for asking it. I told him I was sorry. I said it again to make sure he both heard it and understood that I meant it. He said not to worry about it. I felt terrible, though. I had this awful feeling like I had crossed the line or disappointed him or something. I moved closer to him, put my hand on his arm and looked him straight in the eyes, and I said "I'm really sorry." He told me it wasn't a big deal, and I shouldn't think twice about it. But I still felt like a jerk for the longest time.

Part of me was tempted to say to him, "Well, if that comes up with us, I like small, simple jewelry," or something like that. But I was afraid I had already crossed the line once and didn't want to do it again.

I felt like a jerk still for another hour or hour and a half. He kept asking me what was wrong because I was being pretty quiet, but I kept telling him I was fine. I'm sure he figured out it had something to do with my question, since that's when I started being quiet. I'll probably tell him when I talk to him tonight that that's what was wrong.

I've never had this problem before. It absolutely kills me to do anything that upsets him or disappoints him. And I know that what I asked didn't, but I just felt bad for asking something I shouldn't have.

I felt back to normal before he left, and we were back to joking and laughing again.

I talked to him this morning, and he and his friend didn't get home until 6:30 because the rain was so bad. I got to bed at midnight, and I'm exhausted, so I'm sure he's even worse. Hopefully we'll both get more sleep tonight.