So I was looking online during a spare second at work, and I decided to check my hotmail e-mail. Many times, I'm lured away by the little headlines on the side. This time was no different. Not that I felt that the headline "Your Date is Ogling Another: What to Do" necessarily applied to me, but I couldn't help but be curious about what advice it gave. Does the author recommend slapping your date? Doing a striptease? So I checked it out.
And a couple paragraphs down, it said:
Is ogling ever OK?
Many a man has been busted by his date for checking out that woman at the bar, at the grocery store, or at the office holiday party, and many a man has attempted to wriggle off the hook by saying, "What?! I’m not blind, you know…" That may seem like a pretty bogus defense, but Andrea Lavinthal, co-author of The Hook-Up Handbook: A Single Girl’s Guide To Living It Up, doesn’t dismiss that excuse entirely. "Nowhere in the official relationship handbook does it say that you have to be totally blind to other people," she says. "I mean, who can ignore the salespeople at Abercrombie & Fitch? I don’t know anyone who shops there for the clothes. It’s natural to stare. For a little while."
While that's not me now, it was less than two years ago. Go me!
Friday, March 31, 2006
Sucker
Informal.
One who is easily deceived; a dupe.
Yes, this is me. Somehow, it always happens. I start a job and, being one of the few people with a good work ethic left in this world (It happens when your first job is working for your dad. Especially when you have that job from the 8th grade until the day before you leave for college. If you slack off working for your dad, it's like you're stealing. From your dad.), I always find myself with more and more being put on me to do. And I see other coworkers at my level or sometimes my boss (which, I'm sad to say, is the one this time) doing less and less. How does this always happen?
Abercrombie, Sonic, my on-campus job at OU... The only time it hasn't happened were the times I was a server, and it's hard for it to happen there. (But being a server sucks!) And now it's happened here. I thought I was done with that! That's why I went to college and got a degree -- so I could have a "real" job and no longer be making the same pay as some slacker dropout chick who comes in talking about how she took some experimental drug and has been high for the last 72 hours. At least that part doesn't happen anymore. But I still feel like a sucker.
It all started a couple months after I started working here. My boss gave me a few daily tasks. I knew they were annoying little tasks that have to be done each day, but at the time, I was excited. I looked at it as him giving me more responsibility, testing me, seeing what I could do. hahaha ... Boy, am I naive. I began to realize that he had only pushed off on me the things that weren't fun to do, things he didn't want to do. But it still didn't quite bother me -- he's the boss.
Then, one day I was in the bathroom. Another coworker was saying something about how she was ready for the day to be over (it was just before noon). I said, "Me too! I hate Thursdays!" I explained to her the task I have to do each Thursday that's tedious and takes a long time. She said, "You do that?" She said she thought my boss did it. "Nope," I said. "I do it." I quickly said that it's not so bad, it's just tedious some weeks. (Probably the most valuable lesson I learned as an innocent intern at a TV station in Oklahoma was that you can't trust most coworkers enough to talk about work problems, even when prodded.) Then, my coworker said about my boss, "Well, he's always been lazy." And she said, "If you're doing that, what in the hell does he do all day?" I thought that was a pretty damn good question. Since that day, it's made me frustrated, and I notice it more. Just knowing that I'm not the only one who feels that way and that I may actually be right ...
What prodded this is that I often get a head-start on my little Thursday projects (there are two) on Wednesday. Sometimes, I even try to get one or both done on Wednesday. Well, I had finished the smaller one and was working on the bigger one. My boss had had an appointment yesterday morning, and he managed to get absolutely nothing done in the afternoon, so all that was completed all day was my single Thursday project. (Just to add to my case, he was out the afternoon before for something else, and I had gotten everything pretty much done for that day.) I was working on the second project, but it would definitely take some time. My boss has taken on a similar, much smaller Thursday project, and his wasn't done either. He said he was going to go home and do it that night (last night), and if I could finish mine up that night, it'd be great. So I stayed late because he was going to be doing his at home later. I got mine to the point I could do no more, since I'd seen it too much and too long. I had everything ready, though, where all he had to do was trim it a bit. I even took part of my work home and did it last night. After all, he was going to be working at home, too. It only took a few minutes, but still.
So I came to work this morning and checked with him on what I had taken home. He then asked me if I would be able to do his part of the Thursday project. He hadn't done it. Now, no one else in our department knows how we divide these little "projects." It's not labeled with my name or his name. They just get done. We *ahem* he divided them that way so it would be "fair," which is funny, since I got the two biggest, and he got the smallest. But I wound up doing all three parts of our Thursday projects.
So I'm in this familiar position yet again, wondering, "If I'm doing more and more, what is my boss doing?"
At least in this job, I'm making more than minimum wage.
One who is easily deceived; a dupe.
Yes, this is me. Somehow, it always happens. I start a job and, being one of the few people with a good work ethic left in this world (It happens when your first job is working for your dad. Especially when you have that job from the 8th grade until the day before you leave for college. If you slack off working for your dad, it's like you're stealing. From your dad.), I always find myself with more and more being put on me to do. And I see other coworkers at my level or sometimes my boss (which, I'm sad to say, is the one this time) doing less and less. How does this always happen?
Abercrombie, Sonic, my on-campus job at OU... The only time it hasn't happened were the times I was a server, and it's hard for it to happen there. (But being a server sucks!) And now it's happened here. I thought I was done with that! That's why I went to college and got a degree -- so I could have a "real" job and no longer be making the same pay as some slacker dropout chick who comes in talking about how she took some experimental drug and has been high for the last 72 hours. At least that part doesn't happen anymore. But I still feel like a sucker.
It all started a couple months after I started working here. My boss gave me a few daily tasks. I knew they were annoying little tasks that have to be done each day, but at the time, I was excited. I looked at it as him giving me more responsibility, testing me, seeing what I could do. hahaha ... Boy, am I naive. I began to realize that he had only pushed off on me the things that weren't fun to do, things he didn't want to do. But it still didn't quite bother me -- he's the boss.
Then, one day I was in the bathroom. Another coworker was saying something about how she was ready for the day to be over (it was just before noon). I said, "Me too! I hate Thursdays!" I explained to her the task I have to do each Thursday that's tedious and takes a long time. She said, "You do that?" She said she thought my boss did it. "Nope," I said. "I do it." I quickly said that it's not so bad, it's just tedious some weeks. (Probably the most valuable lesson I learned as an innocent intern at a TV station in Oklahoma was that you can't trust most coworkers enough to talk about work problems, even when prodded.) Then, my coworker said about my boss, "Well, he's always been lazy." And she said, "If you're doing that, what in the hell does he do all day?" I thought that was a pretty damn good question. Since that day, it's made me frustrated, and I notice it more. Just knowing that I'm not the only one who feels that way and that I may actually be right ...
What prodded this is that I often get a head-start on my little Thursday projects (there are two) on Wednesday. Sometimes, I even try to get one or both done on Wednesday. Well, I had finished the smaller one and was working on the bigger one. My boss had had an appointment yesterday morning, and he managed to get absolutely nothing done in the afternoon, so all that was completed all day was my single Thursday project. (Just to add to my case, he was out the afternoon before for something else, and I had gotten everything pretty much done for that day.) I was working on the second project, but it would definitely take some time. My boss has taken on a similar, much smaller Thursday project, and his wasn't done either. He said he was going to go home and do it that night (last night), and if I could finish mine up that night, it'd be great. So I stayed late because he was going to be doing his at home later. I got mine to the point I could do no more, since I'd seen it too much and too long. I had everything ready, though, where all he had to do was trim it a bit. I even took part of my work home and did it last night. After all, he was going to be working at home, too. It only took a few minutes, but still.
So I came to work this morning and checked with him on what I had taken home. He then asked me if I would be able to do his part of the Thursday project. He hadn't done it. Now, no one else in our department knows how we divide these little "projects." It's not labeled with my name or his name. They just get done. We *ahem* he divided them that way so it would be "fair," which is funny, since I got the two biggest, and he got the smallest. But I wound up doing all three parts of our Thursday projects.
So I'm in this familiar position yet again, wondering, "If I'm doing more and more, what is my boss doing?"
At least in this job, I'm making more than minimum wage.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Just your average work day ...
Yeah right! So at about 4:30, one of my coworkers came to my office and said: "You've gotta go across the hall. There are penguins and a kangaroo. There's like a mini-zoo in there!"
I didn't believe her, of course, but she insisted. So across the hall I went, and she wasn't lying! When I got there, two penguins were on a table in the conference room. When I turned around, there were a couple guys walking toward the room with an albino kangaroo. Evidently it had gotten loose and started hopping around the whole office! I was too in shock to get a picture of it, but here are some I took of the other animals:
Penguin!!! He's so cute! And he was really soft.
I have no idea what this thing is or what it's called, but I think the guy said it's from Argentina or something.
Isn't he crazy looking?
Porcupine!! His quills actually felt pretty soft. But then again, I'm sure they'd have felt much different if I had been moving my hand the other direction, toward his head ...
This little guy is a lemur. Evidently they're from the jungle, and they're actually an endangered species. They're being bred, though, and doing so well that this guy said they're starting to send them back out into the wild to replenish them.
His hair (the lemur -- not the guy's) felt really cool -- kind of cotton candy like. And he was jumping around a lot. He was awesome. Check out his paws!
I didn't believe her, of course, but she insisted. So across the hall I went, and she wasn't lying! When I got there, two penguins were on a table in the conference room. When I turned around, there were a couple guys walking toward the room with an albino kangaroo. Evidently it had gotten loose and started hopping around the whole office! I was too in shock to get a picture of it, but here are some I took of the other animals:
Penguin!!! He's so cute! And he was really soft.
I have no idea what this thing is or what it's called, but I think the guy said it's from Argentina or something.
Isn't he crazy looking?
Porcupine!! His quills actually felt pretty soft. But then again, I'm sure they'd have felt much different if I had been moving my hand the other direction, toward his head ...
This little guy is a lemur. Evidently they're from the jungle, and they're actually an endangered species. They're being bred, though, and doing so well that this guy said they're starting to send them back out into the wild to replenish them.His hair (the lemur -- not the guy's) felt really cool -- kind of cotton candy like. And he was jumping around a lot. He was awesome. Check out his paws!
Woman on the move!
K called me this morning because he's planning on going home for Easter and is going to buy his plane tickets today. He wanted to know if I wanted to go with him. His family lives up in Pennsylvania, and I met them over New Year's. I'm going to PA with him in May for his cousin's wedding. But his high school/college best friend, who I didn't get to meet over New Year's, will probably be in for Easter, and I'd get to spend more time with his parents, who were both sick when I was there for New Year's.
Of course I wanted to go with him for Easter, but I didn't want him to be spending so much money for me to go with him then and again a few weeks later. So I asked him which one he'd rather have me come up for. He said the wedding. But that was when he told me Al (hs/college best friend) would probably be there for Easter, and when he told me that was when I'd probably get to spend the most time with his family. Dang it! So I debated for a while on what to do. Finally, I agreed that if he'd let me pay for part of it, I'll go with him for both.
So it looks like I'll be going to Pennsylvania twice in less than one month!
Of course I wanted to go with him for Easter, but I didn't want him to be spending so much money for me to go with him then and again a few weeks later. So I asked him which one he'd rather have me come up for. He said the wedding. But that was when he told me Al (hs/college best friend) would probably be there for Easter, and when he told me that was when I'd probably get to spend the most time with his family. Dang it! So I debated for a while on what to do. Finally, I agreed that if he'd let me pay for part of it, I'll go with him for both.
So it looks like I'll be going to Pennsylvania twice in less than one month!
Wednesday girls
I went out last night with the "Wednesday girls" (ER, her roommate Emily, WK and me), as ER's boyfriend calls us. We go out for dinner every Wednesday night. Anyway, it was a great time as usual. I was actually not looking forward to it as much because there was some tension between WK and Emily -- which meant as a result there was tension with ER and WK, too -- but it wound up being okay. It's always great to tell all the crappy stories, funny stories and great stories from work and our lives over the week. All of us but WK, who ordered a beer instead, had a mongo margarita with our dinner, so it was nice. And so was my cheeseburger!
Our waiter was funny because we kept getting into stories about our weeks or about different things, and he would almost act afraid to come up to our table because we were so wrapped up in the stories. Once, for example, ER had just told us that her younger sister, who is 20, will probably be getting married next summer. She had originally planned on grad school and all these other great goals, but now she's opting for the getting-married-and-having-a-kid-by-25 plan. All of us girls are 23 or nearing it (I'm the youngest, at just over 22 1/2.), so we reacted with a wide-eyed, "WHAT?!!" I said I don't think it's bad to have a child before you're 25, but I certainly wouldn't plan that. WK said she wanted to have lots of time alone with her future perfect husband, who she has yet to meet. And then we got onto the topic of all the wonderful stories our mothers have told us that can happen when you're pregnant, and all the changes that happen to your body after the baby. I said, "Your hair can change, your boobs can get smaller ..." and one of the girls said, "No they can't!" Then another spoke up and said, "Well, sometimes they do after you're finished nursing." And that was when Marco, our waiter, came up. Ah, being a girl is fun. :)
After dinner, I went home and watched American Idol. (I know, I'm a dork.) I was kind of sad to see Lisa go home because she's not even annoying. I was sad Tuesday night when Paris' performance was one of the best. She just annoys me! I'm ready for her to go home. And Ace is too much for me, too. My favorites, for you fellow watchers, are Chris and Kellie. I missed Kellie's performance this week (I got home halfway through, during Mandesa's performance), but in the montage at the end, it looked less than exciting.
After that, I actually went to my gym for the first time in almost two weeks. I did go with K last weekend when I was visiting him. With working late last week, though, the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was leave and go to the gym. So it was nice to do that. I have a gym confession, though: When I'm proud of the weight I do on a machine, I leave the pin in. When I think it's pathetic what I lifted, I remove the pin because I'm sure the next person will want it higher anyway. For example, when I do the hip adduction, I set the pin at 160. I am proud of this. The pin stays there when I leave, and I want everyone to see it. When I go to the bicep machine, however, I lift 30 pounds. I am not proud of this. I remove the pin. :) Once again, I'm a dork, I know.
Our waiter was funny because we kept getting into stories about our weeks or about different things, and he would almost act afraid to come up to our table because we were so wrapped up in the stories. Once, for example, ER had just told us that her younger sister, who is 20, will probably be getting married next summer. She had originally planned on grad school and all these other great goals, but now she's opting for the getting-married-and-having-a-kid-by-25 plan. All of us girls are 23 or nearing it (I'm the youngest, at just over 22 1/2.), so we reacted with a wide-eyed, "WHAT?!!" I said I don't think it's bad to have a child before you're 25, but I certainly wouldn't plan that. WK said she wanted to have lots of time alone with her future perfect husband, who she has yet to meet. And then we got onto the topic of all the wonderful stories our mothers have told us that can happen when you're pregnant, and all the changes that happen to your body after the baby. I said, "Your hair can change, your boobs can get smaller ..." and one of the girls said, "No they can't!" Then another spoke up and said, "Well, sometimes they do after you're finished nursing." And that was when Marco, our waiter, came up. Ah, being a girl is fun. :)
After dinner, I went home and watched American Idol. (I know, I'm a dork.) I was kind of sad to see Lisa go home because she's not even annoying. I was sad Tuesday night when Paris' performance was one of the best. She just annoys me! I'm ready for her to go home. And Ace is too much for me, too. My favorites, for you fellow watchers, are Chris and Kellie. I missed Kellie's performance this week (I got home halfway through, during Mandesa's performance), but in the montage at the end, it looked less than exciting.
After that, I actually went to my gym for the first time in almost two weeks. I did go with K last weekend when I was visiting him. With working late last week, though, the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was leave and go to the gym. So it was nice to do that. I have a gym confession, though: When I'm proud of the weight I do on a machine, I leave the pin in. When I think it's pathetic what I lifted, I remove the pin because I'm sure the next person will want it higher anyway. For example, when I do the hip adduction, I set the pin at 160. I am proud of this. The pin stays there when I leave, and I want everyone to see it. When I go to the bicep machine, however, I lift 30 pounds. I am not proud of this. I remove the pin. :) Once again, I'm a dork, I know.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Why I like lacy tank tops
- They can add some great flair to a solid cardigan.
- They can make anything -- even sweatpants -- look more feminine.
- If you have a great shirt that rides up or is shorter than you'd like, a lacy tank underneath can solve the problem!
- They're nice with a cute skirt or a hot pair of jeans and heels.
- They're perfect under a denim jacket.
- They're adorable under sheer shirts.
- Nothing says "girl" like a lacy tank top.
Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde kind of day
This morning got a little hectic around work today. While I won't go into details about what happened, I will say there was quite a ruckus on the street in front of where I work, and there was quite a buzz around the department for a while afterword. It was definitely crazy.
But since then, I've been surfing around on the Internet and looking for something to do. This morning was unusual and flew by, and this afternoon is so slow and routine. One thing about my job is that I can't really do mine until someone else has done his or her job and sent it to me to take it from there. And the ruckus this morning prevented my boss from getting his stuff done.
So here I sit and wait...
But since then, I've been surfing around on the Internet and looking for something to do. This morning was unusual and flew by, and this afternoon is so slow and routine. One thing about my job is that I can't really do mine until someone else has done his or her job and sent it to me to take it from there. And the ruckus this morning prevented my boss from getting his stuff done.
So here I sit and wait...
Hallelujah!
Thanks to girl from florida, my background is finally fixed! Now, maybe people will actually be able to tell what my favorite color is. :) What a great way to start off the week -- by resolving something that had been annoying the crap out of me last week. lol
I only worked a few hours today, so I was getting home really early. I decided to call ER and see how she was, since I hadn't talked to her in a few days. Turns out she'd had a crappy day Saturday and today, so we decided to have one of our junk food nights. Whenever either of us had a bad day in college, we always got together and ate Sonic, Subway, Taco Bell, McDonalds or Little Caesars. It was our junk food therapy. So I drove to her place, and we went and got Quizno's. We took it to her house and watched Sex & the City on DVD. Then, we just sat and talked about our relationships. We were both in really bad ones all through college, and now we're both in great relationships with awesome guys. It's a nice change in conversation from the ones we used to have.
Yesterday was actually the 10-month marker for K and I. It doesn't seem like it's been that long. It's gone so fast! What's great, though, is we're both still so happy and excited about each other. I still feel lucky, I still get excited to see him and when he calls. We still hold hands all the time. It's awesome!
I've actually mentioned my blog to K a couple of times, but I don't want anyone I know to actually read it. K is actually starting to kind of tease me about it, since he doesn't know what I write about or where it is. I explained to him that it's sort of like an online diary, but that I don't put any names or anything too personal. But it is a nice outlet to talk about things that I can't tell him yet. I'm sure someday I'll show him this thing. So I guess that you can feel special because you can read it and he can't!
I only worked a few hours today, so I was getting home really early. I decided to call ER and see how she was, since I hadn't talked to her in a few days. Turns out she'd had a crappy day Saturday and today, so we decided to have one of our junk food nights. Whenever either of us had a bad day in college, we always got together and ate Sonic, Subway, Taco Bell, McDonalds or Little Caesars. It was our junk food therapy. So I drove to her place, and we went and got Quizno's. We took it to her house and watched Sex & the City on DVD. Then, we just sat and talked about our relationships. We were both in really bad ones all through college, and now we're both in great relationships with awesome guys. It's a nice change in conversation from the ones we used to have.
Yesterday was actually the 10-month marker for K and I. It doesn't seem like it's been that long. It's gone so fast! What's great, though, is we're both still so happy and excited about each other. I still feel lucky, I still get excited to see him and when he calls. We still hold hands all the time. It's awesome!
I've actually mentioned my blog to K a couple of times, but I don't want anyone I know to actually read it. K is actually starting to kind of tease me about it, since he doesn't know what I write about or where it is. I explained to him that it's sort of like an online diary, but that I don't put any names or anything too personal. But it is a nice outlet to talk about things that I can't tell him yet. I'm sure someday I'll show him this thing. So I guess that you can feel special because you can read it and he can't!
Weekend of movies & food
Obviously, I made it okay to Louisiana. I finally got off work at 8, so I got there about 12:45-ish. K was passed out on the couch, exhausted from a lovely 8-mile road march that morning. His roommate had gone to Houston to visit a friend for the weekend, so we had the place to ourselves. It was nice!
Saturday we watched Red Eye, which is a pretty good movie. I absolutely love Rachel McAdams, but I just felt like I had this ball of tension that the movie didn't quite resolve. I know it sounds weird, but K said he felt the same way.
That night, we went with one of K's friends to this great Cajun restaurant called D.I.'s. I didn't even really like seafood a year ago, but I went to Hawaii to visit family and found some stuff I like (calamari; mahi mahi; different kinds of shrimp, which I thought was tolerable before the trip). Anyway, I had never had crawfish until this past Super Bowl weekend, when I tried it at a Super Bowl party with K. So I was pretty proud of myself for venturing outside of my usual pizza/Italian/Mexican/quarter-pounder-with-cheese box and trying a bite of gumbo, a frog leg and a fried oyster. I also ate alligator, which I had had once before in New Orleans my junior year in college, and there was crawfish in the gumbo (my third time eating it!). Now this was all stuff that I tried from K's plate and from his friend. I definitely ordered fried shrimp. But still, I tried new things. This restaurant was great, though. The atmosphere was really fun. There was a great Cajun band (that's not what the Cajuns call it, but I've never lived in Louisiana, so I can neither pronounce, remember or spell what they call it, but I would guess it starts with an X) and a small dance floor, so several people were out dancing. The old couples are always the cutest.
Sunday morning, we just stayed in bed late and cuddled and talked. It was great. We actually got on the topic of weddings because I had been talking to K's friend the night before about his wife. I asked how long they'd been married, and he told me since September. I said, "You got married during football season?!?" I asked K that morning if he could ever get married during football season. He said no, and I asked if he really felt that way, or if he was only saying it because I felt that way. He said, "Spring or summer." I said, "What about the other two seasons?" He said he would just want to get married in the spring or summer, and I agreed. I would want to get married in a dress that didn't have long sleeves. And there are just too many good games on to get married during football season! Besides, I couldn't ask my family or friends to do that. ;) So we wound up talking about weddings for a bit. Nothing too big or too long, but it was cool to talk about it and realize we had similar ideas. That should make things easier. ;)
That afternoon, we went to the gym with his friend we'd gone to dinner with the night before. I hadn't been to the gym in almost two weeks, so on one hand the treadmill was about to kill me, but on the other, it was a good near-death feeling. :) Afterward, the three of us went out to Johnny Carinos -- one of my favorites -- and to see V for Vendetta. It's actually a good movie. I had gone in expecting to not dislike it or like it, but I was surprised.
Then, this morning, I got up, got ready and drove back here to work this afternoon. It was a really great weekend, but, as usual, it went by too quickly.
Saturday we watched Red Eye, which is a pretty good movie. I absolutely love Rachel McAdams, but I just felt like I had this ball of tension that the movie didn't quite resolve. I know it sounds weird, but K said he felt the same way.
That night, we went with one of K's friends to this great Cajun restaurant called D.I.'s. I didn't even really like seafood a year ago, but I went to Hawaii to visit family and found some stuff I like (calamari; mahi mahi; different kinds of shrimp, which I thought was tolerable before the trip). Anyway, I had never had crawfish until this past Super Bowl weekend, when I tried it at a Super Bowl party with K. So I was pretty proud of myself for venturing outside of my usual pizza/Italian/Mexican/quarter-pounder-with-cheese box and trying a bite of gumbo, a frog leg and a fried oyster. I also ate alligator, which I had had once before in New Orleans my junior year in college, and there was crawfish in the gumbo (my third time eating it!). Now this was all stuff that I tried from K's plate and from his friend. I definitely ordered fried shrimp. But still, I tried new things. This restaurant was great, though. The atmosphere was really fun. There was a great Cajun band (that's not what the Cajuns call it, but I've never lived in Louisiana, so I can neither pronounce, remember or spell what they call it, but I would guess it starts with an X) and a small dance floor, so several people were out dancing. The old couples are always the cutest.
Sunday morning, we just stayed in bed late and cuddled and talked. It was great. We actually got on the topic of weddings because I had been talking to K's friend the night before about his wife. I asked how long they'd been married, and he told me since September. I said, "You got married during football season?!?" I asked K that morning if he could ever get married during football season. He said no, and I asked if he really felt that way, or if he was only saying it because I felt that way. He said, "Spring or summer." I said, "What about the other two seasons?" He said he would just want to get married in the spring or summer, and I agreed. I would want to get married in a dress that didn't have long sleeves. And there are just too many good games on to get married during football season! Besides, I couldn't ask my family or friends to do that. ;) So we wound up talking about weddings for a bit. Nothing too big or too long, but it was cool to talk about it and realize we had similar ideas. That should make things easier. ;)
That afternoon, we went to the gym with his friend we'd gone to dinner with the night before. I hadn't been to the gym in almost two weeks, so on one hand the treadmill was about to kill me, but on the other, it was a good near-death feeling. :) Afterward, the three of us went out to Johnny Carinos -- one of my favorites -- and to see V for Vendetta. It's actually a good movie. I had gone in expecting to not dislike it or like it, but I was surprised.
Then, this morning, I got up, got ready and drove back here to work this afternoon. It was a really great weekend, but, as usual, it went by too quickly.
Friday, March 24, 2006
$*%#@!!!!
OH MY GOSH!!! It's 7:31, and I'm still at work!!! I figured I'd be out at 6:30. Seven at the latest. But not 7:31!!
Someone made a simple mistake, and now it's turned into this. I'm not mad at the guy, because no one realized that's what would happen, but it's going to make my night hell. I will be leaving straight from here to drive 5 hours to go to Louisiana. One of my coworkers asked me if I should just wait until tomorrow. So did K. But I'm not going to. If I'm falling asleep while I'm driving, I'm going to Louisiana tonight.
Work is work. It's not supposed to interfere with my weekend. And I'm not going to let it!
Someone made a simple mistake, and now it's turned into this. I'm not mad at the guy, because no one realized that's what would happen, but it's going to make my night hell. I will be leaving straight from here to drive 5 hours to go to Louisiana. One of my coworkers asked me if I should just wait until tomorrow. So did K. But I'm not going to. If I'm falling asleep while I'm driving, I'm going to Louisiana tonight.
Work is work. It's not supposed to interfere with my weekend. And I'm not going to let it!
Grr...
I tried to change the background of my blog last night, and I found some adorable ones I really liked. I entered them into my HTML code, and they looked great in the preview. So I republished my blog, and every time it was white on the edges where it used to at least be solid pink.
For some reason, what's previewing isn't what's happening. But you should see the preview. It's adorable!
(PLEASE HELP ME!)
For some reason, what's previewing isn't what's happening. But you should see the preview. It's adorable!
(PLEASE HELP ME!)
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Classic rock
I love classic rock, I have to say. But there are some songs and artists I just don't get the fascination with:
1. Pink Floyd
2. "Freebird," by Lynyrd Skynyrd
3. "Every Rose Has its Thorn," Poison
4. Ozzy Osbourne
On the other hand, I absolutely love these:
1. Aerosmith
2. AC/DC
3. Guns N' Roses
4. Def Leppard
5. "Carry On My Wayward Son," Kansas
6. "Are You Gonna Go My Way," Lenny Kravitz
7. ZZTop
And then there are the Rolling Stones, who I'm not a huge fan of, but I can at least understand how people are fascinated with them.
All of this came to mind today as I was listening to my favorite classic rock station at work.
1. Pink Floyd
2. "Freebird," by Lynyrd Skynyrd
3. "Every Rose Has its Thorn," Poison
4. Ozzy Osbourne
On the other hand, I absolutely love these:
1. Aerosmith
2. AC/DC
3. Guns N' Roses
4. Def Leppard
5. "Carry On My Wayward Son," Kansas
6. "Are You Gonna Go My Way," Lenny Kravitz
7. ZZTop
And then there are the Rolling Stones, who I'm not a huge fan of, but I can at least understand how people are fascinated with them.
All of this came to mind today as I was listening to my favorite classic rock station at work.
Hump day!!!
Last night was great having dinner with the girls. I needed it! At work yesterday, I was caught up and at a standstill at about 4:30-ish. Everything I had left to do on my to-do list was dependent upon someone else doing something first. Which was kinda frustrating, since at least one thing -- which was a huge task -- had been put off by the person I needed to be working on it.
But that's a different story. :) So I met ER and her roommate, Emily, for drinks and Mexican food. My swirl margarita was perfect, and so were my cheese enchiladas (no onions!). We had great girl talk -- and plenty to talk about -- so it was a nice end to the day. Very laid back and fun. I got home and was too full to go to the gym or do much of anything, so I finally made myself get up and do laundry, shower and get to bed.
And now it's Wednesday. The other girl in our department whose job is similar to mine is on vacation this week, so I'm being both her and me. It's making for a busy week with lots of hours, but it'll be nice to get the paycheck.
I am listening to my classic rock station, and U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name" is playing, and I know that even though it'll be a hectic one, today will be a great day because:
1) It's Wednesday, which means in less than an hour, I'll have survived half of this hectic week.
2) I get to see K the day after tomorrow.
3) There's a great song playing on the radio!
4) I'm ahead (for right now) ...
But that's a different story. :) So I met ER and her roommate, Emily, for drinks and Mexican food. My swirl margarita was perfect, and so were my cheese enchiladas (no onions!). We had great girl talk -- and plenty to talk about -- so it was a nice end to the day. Very laid back and fun. I got home and was too full to go to the gym or do much of anything, so I finally made myself get up and do laundry, shower and get to bed.
And now it's Wednesday. The other girl in our department whose job is similar to mine is on vacation this week, so I'm being both her and me. It's making for a busy week with lots of hours, but it'll be nice to get the paycheck.
I am listening to my classic rock station, and U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name" is playing, and I know that even though it'll be a hectic one, today will be a great day because:
1) It's Wednesday, which means in less than an hour, I'll have survived half of this hectic week.
2) I get to see K the day after tomorrow.
3) There's a great song playing on the radio!
4) I'm ahead (for right now) ...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Lyrics for (my) life
Today is going by kind of slowly, but I don't mind. I worked late last night, until 7. One of the girls in our department is on vacation, so I'm doing most of her job and all of mine this week. It's keeping me busy!
I am meeting ER and her roommate for margaritas after work, so I'm looking forward to that. :) And I just bought the Carrie Underwood cd last night. I listened to it once this morning, but I'm back to classic rock. I'll listen to it again after work. It's a really good cd.
My favorite song is called "I Ain't in Checotah Anymore." I feel like living in a city now and outside of Oklahoma, I can understand more of the song than if I were still there. Checotah is a small town in OK, and I've actually never been there, but the song talks about things like dragging Main on weekend nights, and we definitely did that in high school. (Actually, if you want to get technical, it was called "going uptown," and we drove in a four-block square around downtown. But still, it's the same idea.) The chorus of the song says: "I'm in a world so wide, it makes me feel small sometimes. I miss the big blue sky -- the Oklahoma kind." And I know exactly what she means! You can't see the stars here at night. You see ... airplanes. And buildings.
Then, there's the very first song on the cd, "Wasted." It reminds me a lot of my relationship with my college sweetheart. Everyone -- including us -- knew we didn't belong together. We broke up a zillion and one times, and we got back together a zillion. We went through a lot together. But it wasn't as good as it could have been, and I knew it. I just kept hoping it would get there. The lyrics of "Wasted" express it well:
"For once this second, she almost turned around.
But that would be like pouring rain back into a cloud.
So she took another step and said, 'I see the way out,
and I'm gonna take it.'
(chorus) I don't wanna' spend my life jaded,
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
... Wasted"
And then, there's the new song. The one that's been played on the radio, evidently (I don't listen to country stations very often), "Some Hearts." It reminds me a lot of my relationship with K:
"Now who'd have thought someone like you could love me
You're the last thing my heart expected
Who'd have thought I'd ever find somebody
Someone who makes me feel like this
(chorus) Well I guess some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts, they just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes."
Don't you just love songs that make you feel like the lyrics apply to your life?
I am meeting ER and her roommate for margaritas after work, so I'm looking forward to that. :) And I just bought the Carrie Underwood cd last night. I listened to it once this morning, but I'm back to classic rock. I'll listen to it again after work. It's a really good cd.
My favorite song is called "I Ain't in Checotah Anymore." I feel like living in a city now and outside of Oklahoma, I can understand more of the song than if I were still there. Checotah is a small town in OK, and I've actually never been there, but the song talks about things like dragging Main on weekend nights, and we definitely did that in high school. (Actually, if you want to get technical, it was called "going uptown," and we drove in a four-block square around downtown. But still, it's the same idea.) The chorus of the song says: "I'm in a world so wide, it makes me feel small sometimes. I miss the big blue sky -- the Oklahoma kind." And I know exactly what she means! You can't see the stars here at night. You see ... airplanes. And buildings.
Then, there's the very first song on the cd, "Wasted." It reminds me a lot of my relationship with my college sweetheart. Everyone -- including us -- knew we didn't belong together. We broke up a zillion and one times, and we got back together a zillion. We went through a lot together. But it wasn't as good as it could have been, and I knew it. I just kept hoping it would get there. The lyrics of "Wasted" express it well:
"For once this second, she almost turned around.
But that would be like pouring rain back into a cloud.
So she took another step and said, 'I see the way out,
and I'm gonna take it.'
(chorus) I don't wanna' spend my life jaded,
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
... Wasted"
And then, there's the new song. The one that's been played on the radio, evidently (I don't listen to country stations very often), "Some Hearts." It reminds me a lot of my relationship with K:
"Now who'd have thought someone like you could love me
You're the last thing my heart expected
Who'd have thought I'd ever find somebody
Someone who makes me feel like this
(chorus) Well I guess some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts, they just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes."
Don't you just love songs that make you feel like the lyrics apply to your life?
Monday, March 20, 2006
Sleepy day, weekend details
It's icky outside today. It rained all day yesterday, and I got to bed late. Both of these things are making it very hard to stay awake and aware at work today.
I had a great weekend with K, as usual. We went to see Tom & Kristin in Oklahoma. They're always fun to hang out with. They have known K for years, and I consider them friends of mine now, too. In fact, Kristin was one of the first people I told about how I really felt about K (the whole "wanting to marry him" thing). We went out to a couple of bars on St. Patty's day. We closed down one and went to IHOP afterward. It was so fun and goofy!
We slept in Saturday and had a lazy day. We had lunch with a few more of K's friends, two who I'd met several times before and one I'd never met. We went to Sam's Club, and K and I walked around trying different samples in the grocery department. :) Afterward, we hung out at Tom & Kristin's. We all went to dinner with the friend I'd never met and his wife. Then, we went back to Tom & Kristin's and watched more basketball and a few movies. I saw The Girl Next Door for the first time. I was disappointed. I didn't like it.
K had passed out on our bed for the weekend (from being tired, not being drunk). I got ready for bed and proceeded to try to get him up, which is always really hard to do at night. I didn't think he was even listening to me. The thing is, I had always been the one in the past (in previous relationships) who was tired from work and long days, and my boyfriend was always the one who got to sleep in and could stay up later as a result. So I know that K can hear what I'm saying. He was tired, but he was making a decision to be lazy and ignore me. He had opened his eyes, so I knew he was awake, and I told him this. I said: "Right now you're deciding to ignore me, and I know this. You're taking up the whole bed the way you're laying. Please get up and get ready for bed so I can go to sleep." He kept ignoring me. After I kept trying to get him up, I finally said, "You're being selfish. Just get up and get ready for bed." So he gave me this pissed off look, and he finally got up after a little more prodding. I asked him if he was mad at me, and he said yes. I grabbed his arm and tried to talk to him, but he was still kind of out of it and was pulling himself toward the bathroom. He went and brushed his teeth, and by the time he finished, I was so tired I was half asleep. He just got into bed without saying anything, and he didn't even curl up next to me.
I woke up a few times in the night, and he was still over on the other side of the bed. I didn't know what the situation was, so I didn't wake him or curl up next to him. The next day, though, he apologized for being stubborn and for not sleeping next to me all night. He said he was sorry that he didn't talk to me about it instead of going to sleep. I told him he was forgiven, and we made a deal that it wouldn't happen again. We said in the future, we would always talk about it instead of leaving it on a bad note. I don't know if I would call that our first fight, since to me, a fight is to people going back and forth, sometimes saying things they don't mean. A fight is an argument. And that's not what this was. It was just crankiness and stubborness.
So we made up, and everything was fine. We had a late breakfast with Tom & Kristin and headed back home. It was raining like crazy, so our drive wound up being pretty slow, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. K stayed with me at my apartment for a while. We got pizza for dinner (yum!), and he planned on leaving at 9 so he could get home about 1:30. One of his friends, though, was stuck at the Atlanta airport and was trying to figure out a way to get back to Louisiana. K told him to see if he could get a flight to the airport near me, and then he could ride back to Louisiana with him. His friend was able to get a flight that came in at midnight, so K stuck around with me until he had to leave for the airport.
We just kind of relaxed and watched TV. We cuddled and then some. It was nice. We were talking, and we somehow got on the subject of money or credit cards or something. He said something about the amount of debt he has, which really wasn't a bad number, considering he owns his SUV and his 60-inch TV. Anyway, it still was a little more than I expected. So I looked at him with raised eyebrows, said, "Really? Isn't your truck paid off?" He nodded, and he held up his left hand, waving his fingers like the "spirit fingers" guy in Bring It On, meaning it was debt from CM's engagement ring. It seemed like a lot to spend on a ring. I said, "I had no idea they were that expensive." He gave a little "hmph" and said, "I didn't either." I waited for a second, then said, "How much did you spend on it?" He immediately said, "That's not a valid question." What he meant to say was something more along the lines of, "I'm not going to answer that." I knew that was what he meant, and I immediately felt like a jerk for asking it. I told him I was sorry. I said it again to make sure he both heard it and understood that I meant it. He said not to worry about it. I felt terrible, though. I had this awful feeling like I had crossed the line or disappointed him or something. I moved closer to him, put my hand on his arm and looked him straight in the eyes, and I said "I'm really sorry." He told me it wasn't a big deal, and I shouldn't think twice about it. But I still felt like a jerk for the longest time.
Part of me was tempted to say to him, "Well, if that comes up with us, I like small, simple jewelry," or something like that. But I was afraid I had already crossed the line once and didn't want to do it again.
I felt like a jerk still for another hour or hour and a half. He kept asking me what was wrong because I was being pretty quiet, but I kept telling him I was fine. I'm sure he figured out it had something to do with my question, since that's when I started being quiet. I'll probably tell him when I talk to him tonight that that's what was wrong.
I've never had this problem before. It absolutely kills me to do anything that upsets him or disappoints him. And I know that what I asked didn't, but I just felt bad for asking something I shouldn't have.
I felt back to normal before he left, and we were back to joking and laughing again.
I talked to him this morning, and he and his friend didn't get home until 6:30 because the rain was so bad. I got to bed at midnight, and I'm exhausted, so I'm sure he's even worse. Hopefully we'll both get more sleep tonight.
I had a great weekend with K, as usual. We went to see Tom & Kristin in Oklahoma. They're always fun to hang out with. They have known K for years, and I consider them friends of mine now, too. In fact, Kristin was one of the first people I told about how I really felt about K (the whole "wanting to marry him" thing). We went out to a couple of bars on St. Patty's day. We closed down one and went to IHOP afterward. It was so fun and goofy!
We slept in Saturday and had a lazy day. We had lunch with a few more of K's friends, two who I'd met several times before and one I'd never met. We went to Sam's Club, and K and I walked around trying different samples in the grocery department. :) Afterward, we hung out at Tom & Kristin's. We all went to dinner with the friend I'd never met and his wife. Then, we went back to Tom & Kristin's and watched more basketball and a few movies. I saw The Girl Next Door for the first time. I was disappointed. I didn't like it.
K had passed out on our bed for the weekend (from being tired, not being drunk). I got ready for bed and proceeded to try to get him up, which is always really hard to do at night. I didn't think he was even listening to me. The thing is, I had always been the one in the past (in previous relationships) who was tired from work and long days, and my boyfriend was always the one who got to sleep in and could stay up later as a result. So I know that K can hear what I'm saying. He was tired, but he was making a decision to be lazy and ignore me. He had opened his eyes, so I knew he was awake, and I told him this. I said: "Right now you're deciding to ignore me, and I know this. You're taking up the whole bed the way you're laying. Please get up and get ready for bed so I can go to sleep." He kept ignoring me. After I kept trying to get him up, I finally said, "You're being selfish. Just get up and get ready for bed." So he gave me this pissed off look, and he finally got up after a little more prodding. I asked him if he was mad at me, and he said yes. I grabbed his arm and tried to talk to him, but he was still kind of out of it and was pulling himself toward the bathroom. He went and brushed his teeth, and by the time he finished, I was so tired I was half asleep. He just got into bed without saying anything, and he didn't even curl up next to me.
I woke up a few times in the night, and he was still over on the other side of the bed. I didn't know what the situation was, so I didn't wake him or curl up next to him. The next day, though, he apologized for being stubborn and for not sleeping next to me all night. He said he was sorry that he didn't talk to me about it instead of going to sleep. I told him he was forgiven, and we made a deal that it wouldn't happen again. We said in the future, we would always talk about it instead of leaving it on a bad note. I don't know if I would call that our first fight, since to me, a fight is to people going back and forth, sometimes saying things they don't mean. A fight is an argument. And that's not what this was. It was just crankiness and stubborness.
So we made up, and everything was fine. We had a late breakfast with Tom & Kristin and headed back home. It was raining like crazy, so our drive wound up being pretty slow, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. K stayed with me at my apartment for a while. We got pizza for dinner (yum!), and he planned on leaving at 9 so he could get home about 1:30. One of his friends, though, was stuck at the Atlanta airport and was trying to figure out a way to get back to Louisiana. K told him to see if he could get a flight to the airport near me, and then he could ride back to Louisiana with him. His friend was able to get a flight that came in at midnight, so K stuck around with me until he had to leave for the airport.
We just kind of relaxed and watched TV. We cuddled and then some. It was nice. We were talking, and we somehow got on the subject of money or credit cards or something. He said something about the amount of debt he has, which really wasn't a bad number, considering he owns his SUV and his 60-inch TV. Anyway, it still was a little more than I expected. So I looked at him with raised eyebrows, said, "Really? Isn't your truck paid off?" He nodded, and he held up his left hand, waving his fingers like the "spirit fingers" guy in Bring It On, meaning it was debt from CM's engagement ring. It seemed like a lot to spend on a ring. I said, "I had no idea they were that expensive." He gave a little "hmph" and said, "I didn't either." I waited for a second, then said, "How much did you spend on it?" He immediately said, "That's not a valid question." What he meant to say was something more along the lines of, "I'm not going to answer that." I knew that was what he meant, and I immediately felt like a jerk for asking it. I told him I was sorry. I said it again to make sure he both heard it and understood that I meant it. He said not to worry about it. I felt terrible, though. I had this awful feeling like I had crossed the line or disappointed him or something. I moved closer to him, put my hand on his arm and looked him straight in the eyes, and I said "I'm really sorry." He told me it wasn't a big deal, and I shouldn't think twice about it. But I still felt like a jerk for the longest time.
Part of me was tempted to say to him, "Well, if that comes up with us, I like small, simple jewelry," or something like that. But I was afraid I had already crossed the line once and didn't want to do it again.
I felt like a jerk still for another hour or hour and a half. He kept asking me what was wrong because I was being pretty quiet, but I kept telling him I was fine. I'm sure he figured out it had something to do with my question, since that's when I started being quiet. I'll probably tell him when I talk to him tonight that that's what was wrong.
I've never had this problem before. It absolutely kills me to do anything that upsets him or disappoints him. And I know that what I asked didn't, but I just felt bad for asking something I shouldn't have.
I felt back to normal before he left, and we were back to joking and laughing again.
I talked to him this morning, and he and his friend didn't get home until 6:30 because the rain was so bad. I got to bed at midnight, and I'm exhausted, so I'm sure he's even worse. Hopefully we'll both get more sleep tonight.
Friday, March 17, 2006
10 Reasons today rocks
1. I woke up next to K. (He got in last night just after midnight.)
2. I beat HTML.
3. My work day is already halfway over.
4. It's St. Patrick's Day! (And of course I'm wearing green! This is the only holiday -- besides Independence Day -- that I don't intentionally avoid wearing the day's official colors and risk looking like a 3rd grader who's overly excited about the class party.)
5. When I get home from work tonight, K will be there.
6. I had a great night last night hanging out with a guy friend from high school who I hadn't seen in forever.
7. I'm going to Oklahoma after work to visit some friends.
8. I slept on freshly washed sheets last night.
9. I saw my blog posted on Celebrate We Will's "Other Blogs I Like" list. How awesome is that?!
10. It's Friday.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!
2. I beat HTML.
3. My work day is already halfway over.
4. It's St. Patrick's Day! (And of course I'm wearing green! This is the only holiday -- besides Independence Day -- that I don't intentionally avoid wearing the day's official colors and risk looking like a 3rd grader who's overly excited about the class party.)
5. When I get home from work tonight, K will be there.
6. I had a great night last night hanging out with a guy friend from high school who I hadn't seen in forever.
7. I'm going to Oklahoma after work to visit some friends.
8. I slept on freshly washed sheets last night.
9. I saw my blog posted on Celebrate We Will's "Other Blogs I Like" list. How awesome is that?!
10. It's Friday.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!
Okay, so I'm a huge dork, but...
I am so proud of myself! I don't really know HTML, so I'm really proud of myself for figuring out how to post links of awesome blogs and sites I've found. I think it's so great to be an independent girl, because I can be proud of myself for the lamest things.
For example, when I moved into my apartment last summer, I bought and assembled a shelf for my jeans in my closet. It was a fairly easy assembly, but it still required my toolbox! I also assembled a shower shelf to go over my shower head. And my friend Whitney was with me when I bought my coffee table and two end tables, and we totally put them together. Without boys! I hung my windchimes on my porch by myself (which was tougher than it sounds. Have you ever tried to put a hook in the ceiling? Especially when it's 100+ degrees out!).
So take that, HTML! I totally figured you out (part of you, anyway). :)
For example, when I moved into my apartment last summer, I bought and assembled a shelf for my jeans in my closet. It was a fairly easy assembly, but it still required my toolbox! I also assembled a shower shelf to go over my shower head. And my friend Whitney was with me when I bought my coffee table and two end tables, and we totally put them together. Without boys! I hung my windchimes on my porch by myself (which was tougher than it sounds. Have you ever tried to put a hook in the ceiling? Especially when it's 100+ degrees out!).
So take that, HTML! I totally figured you out (part of you, anyway). :)
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Unfestive March birthdays
I guess I'm posting this a day early, but I think you can handle it. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. Does anyone else find it odd that the March birthstone is not green? I mean, of all people (besides maybe the Irish), they should be the most festive about the holiday.
***Okay, so I just checked out all the other birthstones, and I noticed the December birthstone is blue instead of red or green (but it fits in with the wintery colors, at least, since ice often appears blue -- at least in cartoons), and the February birthstone is purple instead of pink or red (Purple is still a feminine color. Ask the purple Teletubby. He was the one, after all, who carried the purse *ahem* bag!). But the July birthstone is true to its month, with the ruby as its stone. And November has the citrine, which is sort of an amber/orangish color, which to me says Thanksgiving quite well.
So despite the fact that July (and maybe November) are the only months that really seem to appreciate their holidays, I will leave this post.
I'm sure if August ever gets a national holiday, we Leos and Virgos will make sure one of the holiday's trademark colors will be green. :)
***Okay, so I just checked out all the other birthstones, and I noticed the December birthstone is blue instead of red or green (but it fits in with the wintery colors, at least, since ice often appears blue -- at least in cartoons), and the February birthstone is purple instead of pink or red (Purple is still a feminine color. Ask the purple Teletubby. He was the one, after all, who carried the purse *ahem* bag!). But the July birthstone is true to its month, with the ruby as its stone. And November has the citrine, which is sort of an amber/orangish color, which to me says Thanksgiving quite well.
So despite the fact that July (and maybe November) are the only months that really seem to appreciate their holidays, I will leave this post.
I'm sure if August ever gets a national holiday, we Leos and Virgos will make sure one of the holiday's trademark colors will be green. :)
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
An agenda?
Okay, so I know I shouldn't be reading into things too much and getting too excited, but I can't help it. When K was here last weekend, we were talking about what we're doing this upcoming weekend. He has a three-day weekend (which may turn into a four-day weekend), so that gives us a lot more options of what to do. Since he's five hours away, even going somewhere an hour or two away is quite a bit to add to such a small amount of time outside of a car for a 48-hour period.
K had been wanting to go back home to Pennsylvania to visit his mom because she's sick. I suggested he look into going this weekend, since he has a couple extra days off. He said, "I thought we were going to Oklahoma." I hadn't realized that was the plan. I think I remember it coming up that we hadn't been there in a while and would have to go again soon to visit my family. But we hadn't made plans. K checked into going to Pennsylvania anyway, and it was going to cost $900. So then, the plan became to go to Oklahoma again to see my family.
THEN, I got an e-mail from Kristin. She said she and Tom both want to see us again before they move to Washington, D.C. They're moving in a little less than a month, so things are only going to get more hectic for them. I suggested to K that we go see them instead. They're in Oklahoma, too, but they're about two hours from my hometown. K thought it was a great idea to go see him, but he asked if we'd still be able to go to my hometown. I said, "You mean go to both in one weekend?" He said yes. I told him it didn't make much sense because they're far enough apart it'd be too much of a hassle and too much time in the car to make going to both worthwhile, since we'd have to leave Sunday night no matter where we go for me to be to work. That would give us only one day with Tom & Kristin.
So this weekend, we're going to go see them. I told K we can go see my family some other time. It's a shorter drive from where I live, anyway. But what I can't help but wonder is why exactly K is so anxious to go visit my family.
Perhaps he has something to ask my father? *blinking innocently*
K had been wanting to go back home to Pennsylvania to visit his mom because she's sick. I suggested he look into going this weekend, since he has a couple extra days off. He said, "I thought we were going to Oklahoma." I hadn't realized that was the plan. I think I remember it coming up that we hadn't been there in a while and would have to go again soon to visit my family. But we hadn't made plans. K checked into going to Pennsylvania anyway, and it was going to cost $900. So then, the plan became to go to Oklahoma again to see my family.
THEN, I got an e-mail from Kristin. She said she and Tom both want to see us again before they move to Washington, D.C. They're moving in a little less than a month, so things are only going to get more hectic for them. I suggested to K that we go see them instead. They're in Oklahoma, too, but they're about two hours from my hometown. K thought it was a great idea to go see him, but he asked if we'd still be able to go to my hometown. I said, "You mean go to both in one weekend?" He said yes. I told him it didn't make much sense because they're far enough apart it'd be too much of a hassle and too much time in the car to make going to both worthwhile, since we'd have to leave Sunday night no matter where we go for me to be to work. That would give us only one day with Tom & Kristin.
So this weekend, we're going to go see them. I told K we can go see my family some other time. It's a shorter drive from where I live, anyway. But what I can't help but wonder is why exactly K is so anxious to go visit my family.
Perhaps he has something to ask my father? *blinking innocently*
I have readers!!
It's been a while since I've posted. Things have been a little crazy, actually, but I checked my e-mail today, and PEOPLE COMMENTED ON MY BLOG!!! It was so exciting! :) So thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy and keep coming back. :)
So last weekend was pretty great. One of my very good girl friends from OU, Danielle, was on spring break this week, so she came to visit. I finally got to see K. He got here on Friday night, and it was so good to be able to just hug him. We slept in and cuddled Saturday morning, then went to get some lunch from Pei Wei. The weather was so nice that K suggested we go get ice cream. I knew just where I wanted to go. K and I have this little to-do list together. On it are things I've never done, like going camping, skydiving and carving a pumpkin, to fun things we want to experience together, like going to an OU football game (did that last fall!). So I was thinking about all the great, fun things to do in the city I live. Many of them I would like to do with him. So I made a to-do list specific to where I live. And on it was going to get ice cream in this great little square not far from my apartment. It's a really ritzy area, with great, cute apartments above unique little restaurants and boutiques. In the parking lots around it, you can see Ferraris and Porsches and such, so it's a really well-kept area. So at the end of this square, by a really pretty little pond with a fountain in the middle, is a Cold Stone. That was on the to-do list, and that was where we went. K and I got our ice cream and ate it as we walked around the pond, then we sat on a bench and talked as we finished the last of it. The weather was gorgeous, and it was great to be able to just sit there and relax.
Afterward, we headed back to my apartment and enjoyed hanging out by ourselves for a little while longer. Then, CG and her husband (whose wedding we met at) came to my apartment with a couple they're friends with. We all went out to eat, and Danielle came and met us. It was a great, fun little Mexican restaurant, complete with the great little guitar players and trumpet player who go from table to table playing. :) I love that! After dinner, we all went to meet ER and some other friends at a bar closer to the city. It was a little Irish pub, and it had a great, laid-back atmosphere.
The next day, K and I woke up and fixed breakfast for us and Danielle. We pretty much vegged out all day. It was a great Sunday. K left that night, and Danielle and I ate chocolate ice cream and had a girlie night.
On Monday, since I don't have to work, we went shopping. ER is a teacher, and her school is on spring break. So the three of us all went shopping at a great oulet mall nearby. I made my first Banana Republic purchase(s) ever. It was great!! And what was even better is that ER had an extra 20% off coupon that she gave to me. I even got some really hot shoes that I had liked when I saw them a few weeks ago. After shopping, we went to Dave & Busters to meet some friends who were in town for the happy hour. It was a really good day.
Danielle went home that night, and although we had a great time, I have to admit I was glad to have my apartment back to myself.
Tuesday and Wednesday were work-as-usual days, but they've gone fast and pretty well. I can't believe it's already Wednesday! And I can't believe I have blog readers!! :)
I hope you keep coming back!
So last weekend was pretty great. One of my very good girl friends from OU, Danielle, was on spring break this week, so she came to visit. I finally got to see K. He got here on Friday night, and it was so good to be able to just hug him. We slept in and cuddled Saturday morning, then went to get some lunch from Pei Wei. The weather was so nice that K suggested we go get ice cream. I knew just where I wanted to go. K and I have this little to-do list together. On it are things I've never done, like going camping, skydiving and carving a pumpkin, to fun things we want to experience together, like going to an OU football game (did that last fall!). So I was thinking about all the great, fun things to do in the city I live. Many of them I would like to do with him. So I made a to-do list specific to where I live. And on it was going to get ice cream in this great little square not far from my apartment. It's a really ritzy area, with great, cute apartments above unique little restaurants and boutiques. In the parking lots around it, you can see Ferraris and Porsches and such, so it's a really well-kept area. So at the end of this square, by a really pretty little pond with a fountain in the middle, is a Cold Stone. That was on the to-do list, and that was where we went. K and I got our ice cream and ate it as we walked around the pond, then we sat on a bench and talked as we finished the last of it. The weather was gorgeous, and it was great to be able to just sit there and relax.
Afterward, we headed back to my apartment and enjoyed hanging out by ourselves for a little while longer. Then, CG and her husband (whose wedding we met at) came to my apartment with a couple they're friends with. We all went out to eat, and Danielle came and met us. It was a great, fun little Mexican restaurant, complete with the great little guitar players and trumpet player who go from table to table playing. :) I love that! After dinner, we all went to meet ER and some other friends at a bar closer to the city. It was a little Irish pub, and it had a great, laid-back atmosphere.
The next day, K and I woke up and fixed breakfast for us and Danielle. We pretty much vegged out all day. It was a great Sunday. K left that night, and Danielle and I ate chocolate ice cream and had a girlie night.
On Monday, since I don't have to work, we went shopping. ER is a teacher, and her school is on spring break. So the three of us all went shopping at a great oulet mall nearby. I made my first Banana Republic purchase(s) ever. It was great!! And what was even better is that ER had an extra 20% off coupon that she gave to me. I even got some really hot shoes that I had liked when I saw them a few weeks ago. After shopping, we went to Dave & Busters to meet some friends who were in town for the happy hour. It was a really good day.
Danielle went home that night, and although we had a great time, I have to admit I was glad to have my apartment back to myself.
Tuesday and Wednesday were work-as-usual days, but they've gone fast and pretty well. I can't believe it's already Wednesday! And I can't believe I have blog readers!! :)
I hope you keep coming back!
Friday, March 10, 2006
Words of relief
So I'd talked to a few of my best girl friends about my whole thoughts about K's ex-fiance. Last night, I was talking to CG, one of my best friends (it was actually her wedding where I met K). She knew about the dream I'd had in the past -- the one where I randomly met K's ex, and she was still wearing the ring -- and I told her about my dream from the other night. So we were talking about it for a while, and she told me she was going to "go Dr. Laura" on me. I said, "Good! Please do!" I know that what I was worrying about and stressing myself out about was ridiculous. There's nothing between them anymore. They barely even talk! I trust K 100 percent. And I know we'll get married someday. CG even told me she knows without a doubt that we'll get married someday. We really are perfect for each other.
But I already knew that. She wasn't saying anything new. She said to me, "It's not a competition." I said, "I know, and I'm not thinking of it that way at all. I just don't understand why she knew she didn't want to marry him, but he proposed to her. I told him how I feel, he says he's so much happier with me, that we get along so much better and have so much more fun together. And we had even seen each other so much more six months into our relationship than they had for the whole year-plus they were together. Why, if things are so perfect with us but weren't with them, did he propose to her after 10 months? What is it about her that made him want to propose, but we've barely talked about it?"
And CG said to me, "You think a lot longer and harder about things that involve the people you love and care about the most."
I seriously felt so much better -- instantly. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. It wasn't something that had been weighing me down over the course of our relationship, but it was something that I did think quite a bit about. At least a couple times a day. And her response made so much sense.
K proposed to his ex in Las Vegas. I had asked him once about it all. He said he knew that was where he was going to do it, but he didn't know when or exactly where in Vegas. Now, to me, Vegas is not a romantic place. It's not a place I would ever imagine K proposing. It's the land of gambling, legalized prostitution, quickie marriages... It's the place people sneak off to to get married when their parents don't approve. It's the city of bad decisions -- bank accounts gambled away; "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"; cheating; lying. But I've never been there, and K said that, despite its reputation, it actually has some romantic parts. But still, it just doesn't seem like a place he'd pick to do one of the most romantic things a guy does for a girl.
Now I feel so much better about the whole thing, and I understand. K knows how I feel, and I've also told him that I don't want to rush into anything. I want it to be done once, and I want it to be when we're both ready. That hasn't changed. Just what was making me confused is that we're nearing the point (time-wise) where he and his ex got engaged. I felt if things were so much better for us and he knew by then with her, he should have known a long time ago with me.
CG's advice made me realize and appreciate why he's taking his time. That way, when he does it, it'll be done right, and it'll be done only once.
But I already knew that. She wasn't saying anything new. She said to me, "It's not a competition." I said, "I know, and I'm not thinking of it that way at all. I just don't understand why she knew she didn't want to marry him, but he proposed to her. I told him how I feel, he says he's so much happier with me, that we get along so much better and have so much more fun together. And we had even seen each other so much more six months into our relationship than they had for the whole year-plus they were together. Why, if things are so perfect with us but weren't with them, did he propose to her after 10 months? What is it about her that made him want to propose, but we've barely talked about it?"
And CG said to me, "You think a lot longer and harder about things that involve the people you love and care about the most."
I seriously felt so much better -- instantly. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. It wasn't something that had been weighing me down over the course of our relationship, but it was something that I did think quite a bit about. At least a couple times a day. And her response made so much sense.
K proposed to his ex in Las Vegas. I had asked him once about it all. He said he knew that was where he was going to do it, but he didn't know when or exactly where in Vegas. Now, to me, Vegas is not a romantic place. It's not a place I would ever imagine K proposing. It's the land of gambling, legalized prostitution, quickie marriages... It's the place people sneak off to to get married when their parents don't approve. It's the city of bad decisions -- bank accounts gambled away; "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"; cheating; lying. But I've never been there, and K said that, despite its reputation, it actually has some romantic parts. But still, it just doesn't seem like a place he'd pick to do one of the most romantic things a guy does for a girl.
Now I feel so much better about the whole thing, and I understand. K knows how I feel, and I've also told him that I don't want to rush into anything. I want it to be done once, and I want it to be when we're both ready. That hasn't changed. Just what was making me confused is that we're nearing the point (time-wise) where he and his ex got engaged. I felt if things were so much better for us and he knew by then with her, he should have known a long time ago with me.
CG's advice made me realize and appreciate why he's taking his time. That way, when he does it, it'll be done right, and it'll be done only once.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Some proposal...
So I was looking online today, bored during lunch, and I was looking for an e-card to send to K today just as an, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow," hope-you-have-a-great-day kinda thing. So I clicked on the "Love & Dating" category, and I was appalled to see this. Personally, if I was to get this card seriously, I would be pissed!!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Nightmares of K's past
So things with K are still going great. I haven't seen him in a little over a week, but I get to see him this Friday, and I can't wait. The one thing that isn't perfect in our relationship isn't a big deal, but it's something that haunts me more than he knows.
K's last relationship ended a year ago last October. He was with the girl for a little over a year. They were engaged, but she broke it off. Almost all of K's friends have told me that they liked her, but that there was just something missing with her, or something not quite right about the two of them. One of K's best friend's wives (Kristin) -- who is actually K's ex-fiance's best friend (it was at Kristin's wedding that K met his ex-fiance) -- told me that the girl had an unhealthy view of marriage, since her parents divorced at an early age. She had actually told Kristin the day that K bought the engagement ring that she knew she didn't want to marry him. My question: WHY DID SHE SAY YES?!? Kristin told me that the girl knew if she was going to marry anyone, K was a great guy and there wouldn't be much better than him to spend the rest of her life with.
Now, K and I didn't know each other at this time, and I was in a bad relationship of my own, but I knew we would never get married. It really doesn't make much sense, but it's hard for me to know that he's been engaged before. I knew he had been the night we met. It's not like it was some surprise that surfaced after we'd been together a few months. But the thing is, I always imagined the guy I would marry someday would say to his friends when I wasn't looking, "I'm gonna marry that girl someday." Did he say that about her? I know he probably doesn't say it about me, even though he's told me he could see us together for a long time.
And we really haven't talked about the whole marriage thing but a couple times. I brought it up very nervously in late September. I knew I felt that way about him, and it came up in a conversation with one of his friends. Everyone in my life knows I want to marry him. My whole office knows. My whole family knows. All my friends know. Everyone. So when it came up with his friend, I figured I should tell him pretty soon because his friend may actually remember I said it (despite the few beers under his belt at the time) and tell K before I could. So I told him that I knew I wanted to marry him someday. That was in September. We started dating at the end of May. I realize this was fast, but when you know, you know -- right? So I think it kinda freaked K out because he didn't expect me to say that. I was worried that I had really screwed things up the next day, and we actually wound up e-mailing each other at work about it, and it wasn't a big deal. I told him that I wanted him to know I only plan on getting engaged once. I don't want it to be rushed into, and I don't want it to happen until we're both ready. I told him I understood if he was hesitant to talk about it because of what happened to him. I had only wanted him to know I felt that way.
So he told me he understood and that he wasn't freaked out. He said we would talk about it more later. We've talked about it very briefly a couple times since then, but not really a big conversation. Once, he was talking to one of his college buddies, and the guy was telling K he'd gone ring shopping with his girlfriend, who he'd started dating in August (which is three months *after* K and I started dating). Anyway, K told his friend to be careful: "You don't want to rush anything. Take it from me." At that point, I left the room to give him privacy and because I had some things to think about. It had hurt my feelings that he'd said that. I confronted him later about it. I told him I figured out what his friend had said by his response, and that his response wasn't cool. I told him that different things work for different people. His friend was calling with some exciting news that he wanted to share, and K was responding with a negative, damning comment. I told him that I understand that his ex-fiance really hurt him and that he didn't want to see his friend go through that, too, but that that wouldn't happen to everyone. I told him if I based my fears off past relationships, I'd never date again because I'd be convinced any guy I dated would cheat on me (I am three for three, after all). I told him that he knows how I feel about him, and that I don't want to rush anything and that if he wasn't ready to talk about that, it was fine. But I didn't want the reason we hadn't talked about it to be because of her, because that's not fair to me. I told him his response to his friend's news really upset me -- for his friend and for me.
So K wound up actually crying and apologizing. He said he didn't want to be "that guy," and he felt bad that he had reacted that way to his friend. He apologized to me and said that he didn't want me to think he was just floating through our relationship. He said he was really happy and could see us being together for a really long time. He wanted me to know he was taking it seriously and that it wasn't just going nowhere.
So that's about as much as we've talked about it. I asked him a few weeks ago some more questions about his relationship with his ex. He told me that he realizes now that he really didn't love her, that he only proposed to her because everyone else his age was getting married and it seemed like just what was supposed to come next. He said they didn't have the connection that he and I have, and that they didn't know each other as well. They didn't talk about as deep or intimate things as we do. And they didn't have as much fun as we do together. So that made me feel good. He said that she has nothing on me.
I've told K several times that he doesn't need to compare the two of us. I know if things don't work out for us, I'd be sad to think that he could be downplaying what we have to some other girl later, so I don't want him to do that to his ex.
But I feel like she's still ahead. Not that it's a competition by any means. But she has something that I don't, and something that I will never be able to have. She has his first proposal. That's something a guy puts a lot of thought and effort into. And if we get engaged, it'll be his second time around. Not that that will make it any less special for me, by any means. But what I really have trouble with is that I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about him. I have never felt ready to marry someone until him. And if things don't work out with us, I'll be absolutely devastated. I can't imagine ever feeling about someone or loving another guy the way I do K. And to me, if he felt about her the way I feel about him (which, to me, it seems he should have, since they were engaged), then there's no way he can't have feelings for her still.
He's told me time and again that she made any feelings he had for her disappear when she broke off the engagement. He's told me that he realized he didn't really truly love her. He's told me all of these things to reassure me (Not that I bring this up with him a lot or anything. It's just come up a few times over the last 9 months.). But I still can't get it through my thick head!
I've even had dreams about her. Last night, I had a dream that K and I were shopping. He was in a different store, and I ran in to this little shop/boutique. I found this pair of socks (?) that I wanted, and I was talking to a worker about one of them. She told me that CM (she said K's ex's name) had just sold a pair earlier. I looked over, and I saw her leaning over a table, straightening some shirts. When I looked at her, she did kind of look like the few pictures of her I had seen before. But she had brown hair. (I'm the first brunette K has ever dated. His ex was a blonde. And K, who says he's a "butt guy," said she had a big butt and was flat-chested. I have a small butt, and I'm flat-chested, too. K told me he thought her butt was too big. I can't help but wonder if he thought it was too big when they were together, or if he's decided since.) I noticed that she also had big boobs and a small to average-sized butt. I said to the girl who was helping me, "That's CM? I'm dating her ex-fiance now. I'm K's girlfriend." Now K's ex has told him (in real life) that she'd like to meet me some time, which is fine, but at the same time, it's weird -- why does she want to meet me? He's out of her life. She made it that way. But I looked at her (in the dream) and said nothing to her. She didn't even see me.
So I walked out on the street, and K was walking toward me and the store. I said to him, "You'll never guess who's in there." And I said his ex's name. He looked at me with a strange look on his face, because even I know she doesn't work at a clothing boutique. But we didn't go in. And that's all of the dream I remember. I think it was over then.
I really wish I could stop making her an issue. She's not for him, and I really don't think he knows how much I think about him and her. I've had a few dreams about her before. In one, I realized who she was, and she was still wearing the ring. Her friend was bragging about it. I turned to her and said, "Don't you know who I am?! I'm K's girlfriend now. Why are you still wearing that? You broke it off!" What's weird is that I know she doesn't even have the ring anymore. He has it in a safety deposit box.
I can only hope that someday when we do get engaged, I won't feel she has something I don't. All of his friends have told me -- unprodded, I might add -- that he's so much happier now and that we go together so much better. They've told me I'm perfect for him. I am with him now, and we make each other happy. She's really not in the picture. He barely talks to her anymore -- maybe once every three months or so. I trust him completely. I know he has no feelings for her, but I still can't get the whole thing out of my head.
Is this normal???
K's last relationship ended a year ago last October. He was with the girl for a little over a year. They were engaged, but she broke it off. Almost all of K's friends have told me that they liked her, but that there was just something missing with her, or something not quite right about the two of them. One of K's best friend's wives (Kristin) -- who is actually K's ex-fiance's best friend (it was at Kristin's wedding that K met his ex-fiance) -- told me that the girl had an unhealthy view of marriage, since her parents divorced at an early age. She had actually told Kristin the day that K bought the engagement ring that she knew she didn't want to marry him. My question: WHY DID SHE SAY YES?!? Kristin told me that the girl knew if she was going to marry anyone, K was a great guy and there wouldn't be much better than him to spend the rest of her life with.
Now, K and I didn't know each other at this time, and I was in a bad relationship of my own, but I knew we would never get married. It really doesn't make much sense, but it's hard for me to know that he's been engaged before. I knew he had been the night we met. It's not like it was some surprise that surfaced after we'd been together a few months. But the thing is, I always imagined the guy I would marry someday would say to his friends when I wasn't looking, "I'm gonna marry that girl someday." Did he say that about her? I know he probably doesn't say it about me, even though he's told me he could see us together for a long time.
And we really haven't talked about the whole marriage thing but a couple times. I brought it up very nervously in late September. I knew I felt that way about him, and it came up in a conversation with one of his friends. Everyone in my life knows I want to marry him. My whole office knows. My whole family knows. All my friends know. Everyone. So when it came up with his friend, I figured I should tell him pretty soon because his friend may actually remember I said it (despite the few beers under his belt at the time) and tell K before I could. So I told him that I knew I wanted to marry him someday. That was in September. We started dating at the end of May. I realize this was fast, but when you know, you know -- right? So I think it kinda freaked K out because he didn't expect me to say that. I was worried that I had really screwed things up the next day, and we actually wound up e-mailing each other at work about it, and it wasn't a big deal. I told him that I wanted him to know I only plan on getting engaged once. I don't want it to be rushed into, and I don't want it to happen until we're both ready. I told him I understood if he was hesitant to talk about it because of what happened to him. I had only wanted him to know I felt that way.
So he told me he understood and that he wasn't freaked out. He said we would talk about it more later. We've talked about it very briefly a couple times since then, but not really a big conversation. Once, he was talking to one of his college buddies, and the guy was telling K he'd gone ring shopping with his girlfriend, who he'd started dating in August (which is three months *after* K and I started dating). Anyway, K told his friend to be careful: "You don't want to rush anything. Take it from me." At that point, I left the room to give him privacy and because I had some things to think about. It had hurt my feelings that he'd said that. I confronted him later about it. I told him I figured out what his friend had said by his response, and that his response wasn't cool. I told him that different things work for different people. His friend was calling with some exciting news that he wanted to share, and K was responding with a negative, damning comment. I told him that I understand that his ex-fiance really hurt him and that he didn't want to see his friend go through that, too, but that that wouldn't happen to everyone. I told him if I based my fears off past relationships, I'd never date again because I'd be convinced any guy I dated would cheat on me (I am three for three, after all). I told him that he knows how I feel about him, and that I don't want to rush anything and that if he wasn't ready to talk about that, it was fine. But I didn't want the reason we hadn't talked about it to be because of her, because that's not fair to me. I told him his response to his friend's news really upset me -- for his friend and for me.
So K wound up actually crying and apologizing. He said he didn't want to be "that guy," and he felt bad that he had reacted that way to his friend. He apologized to me and said that he didn't want me to think he was just floating through our relationship. He said he was really happy and could see us being together for a really long time. He wanted me to know he was taking it seriously and that it wasn't just going nowhere.
So that's about as much as we've talked about it. I asked him a few weeks ago some more questions about his relationship with his ex. He told me that he realizes now that he really didn't love her, that he only proposed to her because everyone else his age was getting married and it seemed like just what was supposed to come next. He said they didn't have the connection that he and I have, and that they didn't know each other as well. They didn't talk about as deep or intimate things as we do. And they didn't have as much fun as we do together. So that made me feel good. He said that she has nothing on me.
I've told K several times that he doesn't need to compare the two of us. I know if things don't work out for us, I'd be sad to think that he could be downplaying what we have to some other girl later, so I don't want him to do that to his ex.
But I feel like she's still ahead. Not that it's a competition by any means. But she has something that I don't, and something that I will never be able to have. She has his first proposal. That's something a guy puts a lot of thought and effort into. And if we get engaged, it'll be his second time around. Not that that will make it any less special for me, by any means. But what I really have trouble with is that I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about him. I have never felt ready to marry someone until him. And if things don't work out with us, I'll be absolutely devastated. I can't imagine ever feeling about someone or loving another guy the way I do K. And to me, if he felt about her the way I feel about him (which, to me, it seems he should have, since they were engaged), then there's no way he can't have feelings for her still.
He's told me time and again that she made any feelings he had for her disappear when she broke off the engagement. He's told me that he realized he didn't really truly love her. He's told me all of these things to reassure me (Not that I bring this up with him a lot or anything. It's just come up a few times over the last 9 months.). But I still can't get it through my thick head!
I've even had dreams about her. Last night, I had a dream that K and I were shopping. He was in a different store, and I ran in to this little shop/boutique. I found this pair of socks (?) that I wanted, and I was talking to a worker about one of them. She told me that CM (she said K's ex's name) had just sold a pair earlier. I looked over, and I saw her leaning over a table, straightening some shirts. When I looked at her, she did kind of look like the few pictures of her I had seen before. But she had brown hair. (I'm the first brunette K has ever dated. His ex was a blonde. And K, who says he's a "butt guy," said she had a big butt and was flat-chested. I have a small butt, and I'm flat-chested, too. K told me he thought her butt was too big. I can't help but wonder if he thought it was too big when they were together, or if he's decided since.) I noticed that she also had big boobs and a small to average-sized butt. I said to the girl who was helping me, "That's CM? I'm dating her ex-fiance now. I'm K's girlfriend." Now K's ex has told him (in real life) that she'd like to meet me some time, which is fine, but at the same time, it's weird -- why does she want to meet me? He's out of her life. She made it that way. But I looked at her (in the dream) and said nothing to her. She didn't even see me.
So I walked out on the street, and K was walking toward me and the store. I said to him, "You'll never guess who's in there." And I said his ex's name. He looked at me with a strange look on his face, because even I know she doesn't work at a clothing boutique. But we didn't go in. And that's all of the dream I remember. I think it was over then.
I really wish I could stop making her an issue. She's not for him, and I really don't think he knows how much I think about him and her. I've had a few dreams about her before. In one, I realized who she was, and she was still wearing the ring. Her friend was bragging about it. I turned to her and said, "Don't you know who I am?! I'm K's girlfriend now. Why are you still wearing that? You broke it off!" What's weird is that I know she doesn't even have the ring anymore. He has it in a safety deposit box.
I can only hope that someday when we do get engaged, I won't feel she has something I don't. All of his friends have told me -- unprodded, I might add -- that he's so much happier now and that we go together so much better. They've told me I'm perfect for him. I am with him now, and we make each other happy. She's really not in the picture. He barely talks to her anymore -- maybe once every three months or so. I trust him completely. I know he has no feelings for her, but I still can't get the whole thing out of my head.
Is this normal???
Great girl weekend
It's been a while since I was able to post because my lovely computer has decided to mess up on me, so here I am at work posting because it's the slow point right now.
I have to say I had a pretty good weekend, and unexpectedly. Friday night I stayed home to try to fight my cold. I watched movies and actually went to bed at about 10:15 because I'd fallen asleep on the couch. I tried Saturday morning to go to the gym, but I couldn't breathe, and only 12 minutes on the elliptical made me all red-faced. It was disappointing, since I'd had such a great workout just two days earlier. I left and decided to try again Sunday or Monday.
So I ran some errands that day. It was pretty productive. I called one of my best friends, ER, who I was planning on hanging out with that night. My brother was going to be racing near us that night, and ER had gone with me to watch him in that same race a year earlier. We'd had such a blast that when I told her he was racing it again, she immediately said she wanted to go. I hadn't even planned on asking because most of my friends are a little less than thrilled about the idea of watching my brother drive a car in circles on a dirt track for a few hours on a weekend night. We decided to get a big group together to go. The group wound up falling apart, so it was just the two of us, and we were both glad it turned out that way.
We used to hang out in college just the two of us quite a bit, and we hadn't been able to do that in a long time. Usually ER's old roommate WK, who is also one of my friends, is with us, which is fine, but sometimes it's good just to catch up with just the two of us. Unfortunately, my brother didn't do very well. His steering box was a little tight (which is racer talk for "it wouldn't turn," which explains why he was losing speed so much in the turns).
But ER and I had a great time hanging out watching the races. She called it our "Redneck Night." We went to Johnny Carinos afterward for an awesome dinner (and bellinis!) filled with girl talk and TMI (too much information) conversations about our boyfriends. :) It was great. I'm really glad I have girl friends who I can talk to about things like that. ER and I were both in long-term relationships with the same guy pretty much all through college (hers started in high school). Both were pretty unhealthy, and both did their share of damage. And now we're both in wonderful relationships with great guys, and it's so nice to see that for ourselves and for each other. And our friends are definitely happy about it, too.
After dinner, we went back to ER's new house and watched an episode of Sex and the City, and then I went home and crashed. At 11:30. But it was a great night. ER had invited me to go to church with her the next day, which I'd done a few times before and really liked. So I met her there for her 20s and 30s age-group class, then we went to the services and sat with her family. Her dad calls me his Oklahoma daughter. :)
After church, I went home and had leftover Johnny Carinos (yum) and cleaned my whole apartment. It was such a nice day, and I slept with the windows open that night.
A great, relaxing weekend.
I have to say I had a pretty good weekend, and unexpectedly. Friday night I stayed home to try to fight my cold. I watched movies and actually went to bed at about 10:15 because I'd fallen asleep on the couch. I tried Saturday morning to go to the gym, but I couldn't breathe, and only 12 minutes on the elliptical made me all red-faced. It was disappointing, since I'd had such a great workout just two days earlier. I left and decided to try again Sunday or Monday.
So I ran some errands that day. It was pretty productive. I called one of my best friends, ER, who I was planning on hanging out with that night. My brother was going to be racing near us that night, and ER had gone with me to watch him in that same race a year earlier. We'd had such a blast that when I told her he was racing it again, she immediately said she wanted to go. I hadn't even planned on asking because most of my friends are a little less than thrilled about the idea of watching my brother drive a car in circles on a dirt track for a few hours on a weekend night. We decided to get a big group together to go. The group wound up falling apart, so it was just the two of us, and we were both glad it turned out that way.
We used to hang out in college just the two of us quite a bit, and we hadn't been able to do that in a long time. Usually ER's old roommate WK, who is also one of my friends, is with us, which is fine, but sometimes it's good just to catch up with just the two of us. Unfortunately, my brother didn't do very well. His steering box was a little tight (which is racer talk for "it wouldn't turn," which explains why he was losing speed so much in the turns).
But ER and I had a great time hanging out watching the races. She called it our "Redneck Night." We went to Johnny Carinos afterward for an awesome dinner (and bellinis!) filled with girl talk and TMI (too much information) conversations about our boyfriends. :) It was great. I'm really glad I have girl friends who I can talk to about things like that. ER and I were both in long-term relationships with the same guy pretty much all through college (hers started in high school). Both were pretty unhealthy, and both did their share of damage. And now we're both in wonderful relationships with great guys, and it's so nice to see that for ourselves and for each other. And our friends are definitely happy about it, too.
After dinner, we went back to ER's new house and watched an episode of Sex and the City, and then I went home and crashed. At 11:30. But it was a great night. ER had invited me to go to church with her the next day, which I'd done a few times before and really liked. So I met her there for her 20s and 30s age-group class, then we went to the services and sat with her family. Her dad calls me his Oklahoma daughter. :)
After church, I went home and had leftover Johnny Carinos (yum) and cleaned my whole apartment. It was such a nice day, and I slept with the windows open that night.
A great, relaxing weekend.
Friday, March 03, 2006
An apple a day? Whatever!
I'm pretty sure today that I look like I feel -- crappy. The first thing one of my coworkers said to me when I walked in today was, "Are you okay?" This could be because I was groaning and struggling to breathe through my nose, but I doubt she heard my groan because she's deaf in the ear that was facing me.
My boss was headed toward my office as I was blowing my nose for the 8th time, even though I had only been in there for about 15 minutes. He asked if I was feeling okay. Honestly, I feel ... alright. I'm just really stuffy. One nostril is totally clogged, and the other starts running if I try to breathe through my nose. So I'm having to suffer and breathe through my mouth, which I hate doing. It makes my mouth feel funny and I don't like it. And it spreads more germs, and frankly, it's just not attractive to breathe through your mouth.
But the good thing is that my boss said we'll try to finish up early today so I can go home and get some rest. I was sad earlier in the week that I didn't have Friday night plans yet, since they're usually spent driving to see K or getting ready for him to get here, but now I'm thinking it could be a good thing. I could fix myself some extra-buttery popcorn, curl up on the couch and watch a movie. Although I wish K was coming this weekend, it's probably a good thing for two reasons: 1) He might catch my cold (or whatever it is), and 2) Like I said, I look like I feel.
And all I have to say is the old addage "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is definitely wrong, because I eat at least three apples a week -- which is more than I have in the past -- and I'm still sick!
*******UPDATE*******
So it's just before 5 p.m. We've been done with our work for at least 30 minutes, so I've been working on helping other people in the department before I get the final word from our department head that we're good to go so I can leave.
Now, my boss is perfectly able to tell me, "You're sick. Go home. I'll wait around." So what does he do? He comes to my office and says, "We finished so early I have time to go get a haircut." He tells me I need to stick around and wait until 5:30, when our deadline is. He did tell me if I haven't heard, I can feel free to walk out the door at 5:30. Thanks, boss. Thanks a lot.
I think I'll go cough on his keyboard.
My boss was headed toward my office as I was blowing my nose for the 8th time, even though I had only been in there for about 15 minutes. He asked if I was feeling okay. Honestly, I feel ... alright. I'm just really stuffy. One nostril is totally clogged, and the other starts running if I try to breathe through my nose. So I'm having to suffer and breathe through my mouth, which I hate doing. It makes my mouth feel funny and I don't like it. And it spreads more germs, and frankly, it's just not attractive to breathe through your mouth.
But the good thing is that my boss said we'll try to finish up early today so I can go home and get some rest. I was sad earlier in the week that I didn't have Friday night plans yet, since they're usually spent driving to see K or getting ready for him to get here, but now I'm thinking it could be a good thing. I could fix myself some extra-buttery popcorn, curl up on the couch and watch a movie. Although I wish K was coming this weekend, it's probably a good thing for two reasons: 1) He might catch my cold (or whatever it is), and 2) Like I said, I look like I feel.
And all I have to say is the old addage "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is definitely wrong, because I eat at least three apples a week -- which is more than I have in the past -- and I'm still sick!
*******UPDATE*******
So it's just before 5 p.m. We've been done with our work for at least 30 minutes, so I've been working on helping other people in the department before I get the final word from our department head that we're good to go so I can leave.
Now, my boss is perfectly able to tell me, "You're sick. Go home. I'll wait around." So what does he do? He comes to my office and says, "We finished so early I have time to go get a haircut." He tells me I need to stick around and wait until 5:30, when our deadline is. He did tell me if I haven't heard, I can feel free to walk out the door at 5:30. Thanks, boss. Thanks a lot.
I think I'll go cough on his keyboard.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Pick one!
Okay, so I hate to be catty, but I hate it when girls wear a dress or skirt over pants or jeans. Either it's warm or it's not.
It's not cute! I tried that look once in the third grade, and my mom was good enough to explain to me that it just didn't work.
WHERE ARE THESE GIRLS' MOTHERS?
It's not cute! I tried that look once in the third grade, and my mom was good enough to explain to me that it just didn't work.
WHERE ARE THESE GIRLS' MOTHERS?
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Absense makes the heart grow fonder
K is out in the field for the next 10 days for training. It's not the first time he's been out in the field since we've been together, and it's actually one of the shorter times he's been out. After we met in May, the entire month of June he was out in the field, so we didn't get to see each other for the second time until July. But we see each other every weekend we can, which is basically every weekend he's not in the field or somewhere else for training.
In fact, the last weekend we went without seeing each other was the weekend of Christmas. Since it's all we have, I really look forward to getting to see him on the weekends. I look forward to the time I get off work so I can call him, even though most of the time he's still at work and starting to wrap up to go home. It's the official end of my work day when I call him. It's my reward for making it through the day.
So it makes me sad that he's out in the field this week because the little things I look forward to in my day and through the week aren't there. And it makes me miss him more since I know it'll be two weeks before I see him this time instead of just less than one.
I know it seems a little ridiculous and needy, but I am an independent person. He's just a very important part of my life, and it makes me a little sad that I have to wait two weeks before I can see my favorite person in the entire world again.
It just makes me appreciate even more that I have him and the time we do have with each other.
In fact, the last weekend we went without seeing each other was the weekend of Christmas. Since it's all we have, I really look forward to getting to see him on the weekends. I look forward to the time I get off work so I can call him, even though most of the time he's still at work and starting to wrap up to go home. It's the official end of my work day when I call him. It's my reward for making it through the day.
So it makes me sad that he's out in the field this week because the little things I look forward to in my day and through the week aren't there. And it makes me miss him more since I know it'll be two weeks before I see him this time instead of just less than one.
I know it seems a little ridiculous and needy, but I am an independent person. He's just a very important part of my life, and it makes me a little sad that I have to wait two weeks before I can see my favorite person in the entire world again.
It just makes me appreciate even more that I have him and the time we do have with each other.
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